More Wayward hijinks.
The Backstory: In order to prevent the players from becoming burnt out and surly, and in order for the Hosts to have some much needed sleep and recovery as well, the concept of an Omake Round is a regular institution in these tournaments. Omake Rounds are generally non-sequitur, always comical, and tend to involve some filk.
Heat contributed two scenes of relevance to the Omake Round, which took place at Cromartie High School.
The first omake was rather simple and contains no spoilers for anything:
-
o.i. pencil
Masa chomped down on the double-handful of pencils.
Everyone in the classroom stared, aghast.
“That’s nothing,” Heat scoffed, and bit Masa’s head off.
-
The second omake, though, is a good deal longer, requires some context, and explains why I have had A Little Priest stuck in my head for days. Days, I tell you.
Knowledge of DDS most helpful, God of War also helpful, the Square-Enix / Ivalice Alliance Job Systems integral, and Cromartie...yeah.
I'll just explain with the Thing Kellios drew to illustrate.
o.ii. pie
[Year 1 Class 2, still. Heat and Kratos are standing over Masa’s corpse.]
HEAT: What a fucking shame.
KRATOS: A shame?
HEAT:
Just a goddamned waste...
Such a nice, fat frame
What’s-his-name has...
Had...
Has.
And it can't be traced...
HP needs a lift,
Stat effects to be erased...
Think of it as thrift.
As a gift.
If you get my drift.
No?
Tch. What a fucking waste...
I mean, with the MP cost what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it.
KRATOS: …ha. Ha.
HEAT:
Good, you got it.
Just think, when you’re running out of rations,
And the healer drops off like the healers tend to do.
At the most they’re only on their feet a round or two.
How’s the muscle of the tribe supposed to eat?
[Simultaneously]
KRATOS:
Noble warrior, yes you have a point here,
HEAT:
Just a big fucking waste...
KRATOS:
Eminently practical
Though inappropriate and bestial,
HEAT:
Can’t leave it here.
KRATOS:
Think of Sparta! how it’s gone
So long without this practice, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
HEAT:
Think about it.
All the other armies
Trembling in fear of you,
Won't they?
Think of
All that
FOOD!
KRATOS:
It works!
How rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?
HEAT:
Yeah, keep it up.
Just keep it up.
What is that sound?
KRATOS:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
HEAT:
Not sure ‘bout how,
You’ve got it now,
Yeah, all around!
KRATOS:
It's man devouring man, that’s clear!
BOTH:
And who are we to deny it in here?
KRATOS: (spoken) These are desperate times, Heat, you’re right and desperate measures are called for!
HEAT: [grins, rips off one of Masa’s arms and offers it to Kratos] Here. Try this one.
KRATOS: What is that?
HEAT:
It's Priest. Have a little Priest.
KRATOS:
Is it really good?
HEAT:
Faith of 80, at least.
Then again, they’re not much for sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
KRATOS:
Awful lot of fat.
HEAT:
Only where it sat.
KRATOS:
Haven't you got Lich Lord, or something like that?
HEAT:
No, you see, the trouble with Lich Lord is
What a bitch since it’s deceased.
Try the Priest.
KRATOS: [eats] (spoken) Heavenly! Not as hearty as White Mage, perhaps, but then again, not as bland as Chemist, either!
HEAT: Chemist tends to taste like the processed crap. You ever played Xenogears?
KRATOS: What?
HEAT: Never mind.
(sung) Black Mage can be nice.
KRATOS:
If it stuck to Ice.
HEAT:
Go for something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow that twice.
KRATOS:
Something coming soon?
HEAT:
If you’re after something with style,
You might try a mild Dragoon.
Eat the whole platoon.
Really just as good on a spear as a spoon.
KRATOS:
Is that Squire,
On the fire?
HEAT:
What, no. Something this tender?
It has to be Vendor.
KRATOS:
Looks greater.
Calculator?
LOVETT:
No, it has to be Vendor -
It's green!
KRATOS:
The history of the world, good man-
HEAT:
Save a lot of graves,
Make a lot of warriors stronger.
KRATOS:
Is scraping by on what little you can!
HEAT:
Keeps the HP up,
Gonna get the fights to go longer.
KRATOS:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
That those above mean XP down below!
HEAT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... There’s Soldier.
KRATOS: Something... colder.
HEAT: Fonist?
KRATOS: Something honest.
HEAT: Slayer?
KRATOS: Something gayer.
HEAT: Riskbreaker?
KRATOS: Something…awake-er.
HEAT: Astrologer.
KRATOS: …
HEAT:
Here’s a slice of Knight.
KRATOS:
Maybe if it’s light.
HEAT:
If you don’t mind Drain
And can take the pain,
Dark’s a tasty bite!
Mercenary’s free,
Level twenty-three.
KRATOS:
That looks pretty rank.
HEAT:
Well, he tended to wank,
And a lot, you can see.
Never really sold.
Seventeen years old.
KRATOS:
Have you any Titan?
HEAT:
Next week, so I'm told.
Titan isn't bad once you fight it,
Then you can’t deny it’s a feast.
Stick to Priest.
(spoken) This one’s a little bit stringy, but then of course it's Archer.
KRATOS: No, this isn't Archer -- it's Sniper.
HEAT: How can you tell?
KRATOS: It's got breast meat!
HEAT: RRAGH---
KRATOS:
The history of the world, sir Heat --
HEAT:
Yeah, got it now.
You’ve got it now.
What does it say?
KRATOS:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
HEAT:
Who gets to hunt,
Who gets to rot,
Who gets away.
KRATOS:
But fortunately, it's also clear
BOTH:
That everybody gets eaten in here!
HEAT: (spoken) Since Soldier doesn't appeal to you, how about a Turk?
KRATOS: Too drunken. I prefer General.
HEAT: Too much Mako. Gets into your system and makes you crazy.
KRATOS: What’s that one?
HEAT:
It's Bard.
Got a little hard.
But there’s also Pirate and Thief,
And if that’s your belief, full of lard.
And you've just begun --
Here's Generic Henchman, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!
KRATOS:
Don’t forget your gun.
Well, you never know if he’s going to run!
HEAT:
Maybe later,
Mediator?
KRATOS:
No, Orators are really
Too coarse and too mealy!
HEAT:
A hard worker-
Try Berserker.
KRATOS:
Yes, he always comes up overdone.
I'll come again when you have GOD on the menu!
HEAT: …I like your style.
MECHAZAWA: [entering] I would not describe ‘god’ as particularly tasty. It tends to repeat on you.
HEAT: …
KRATOS: …
INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: But he’s a-
MECHAZAWA: [stoops to poke at the pool of carnage that is mow Masa] Also, musical comedy is considered in poor taste at this school. No matter how many heads you rip off, singing like that will diminish your cred. Consider humming instead.
.
I'll just be over here.
Heat contributed two scenes of relevance to the Omake Round, which took place at Cromartie High School.
The first omake was rather simple and contains no spoilers for anything:
-
o.i. pencil
Masa chomped down on the double-handful of pencils.
Everyone in the classroom stared, aghast.
“That’s nothing,” Heat scoffed, and bit Masa’s head off.
-
The second omake, though, is a good deal longer, requires some context, and explains why I have had A Little Priest stuck in my head for days. Days, I tell you.
Knowledge of DDS most helpful, God of War also helpful, the Square-Enix / Ivalice Alliance Job Systems integral, and Cromartie...yeah.
I'll just explain with the Thing Kellios drew to illustrate.
o.ii. pie
[Year 1 Class 2, still. Heat and Kratos are standing over Masa’s corpse.]
HEAT: What a fucking shame.
KRATOS: A shame?
HEAT:
Just a goddamned waste...
Such a nice, fat frame
What’s-his-name has...
Had...
Has.
And it can't be traced...
HP needs a lift,
Stat effects to be erased...
Think of it as thrift.
As a gift.
If you get my drift.
No?
Tch. What a fucking waste...
I mean, with the MP cost what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it.
KRATOS: …ha. Ha.
HEAT:
Good, you got it.
Just think, when you’re running out of rations,
And the healer drops off like the healers tend to do.
At the most they’re only on their feet a round or two.
How’s the muscle of the tribe supposed to eat?
[Simultaneously]
KRATOS:
Noble warrior, yes you have a point here,
HEAT:
Just a big fucking waste...
KRATOS:
Eminently practical
Though inappropriate and bestial,
HEAT:
Can’t leave it here.
KRATOS:
Think of Sparta! how it’s gone
So long without this practice, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
HEAT:
Think about it.
All the other armies
Trembling in fear of you,
Won't they?
Think of
All that
FOOD!
KRATOS:
It works!
How rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?
HEAT:
Yeah, keep it up.
Just keep it up.
What is that sound?
KRATOS:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
HEAT:
Not sure ‘bout how,
You’ve got it now,
Yeah, all around!
KRATOS:
It's man devouring man, that’s clear!
BOTH:
And who are we to deny it in here?
KRATOS: (spoken) These are desperate times, Heat, you’re right and desperate measures are called for!
HEAT: [grins, rips off one of Masa’s arms and offers it to Kratos] Here. Try this one.
KRATOS: What is that?
HEAT:
It's Priest. Have a little Priest.
KRATOS:
Is it really good?
HEAT:
Faith of 80, at least.
Then again, they’re not much for sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
KRATOS:
Awful lot of fat.
HEAT:
Only where it sat.
KRATOS:
Haven't you got Lich Lord, or something like that?
HEAT:
No, you see, the trouble with Lich Lord is
What a bitch since it’s deceased.
Try the Priest.
KRATOS: [eats] (spoken) Heavenly! Not as hearty as White Mage, perhaps, but then again, not as bland as Chemist, either!
HEAT: Chemist tends to taste like the processed crap. You ever played Xenogears?
KRATOS: What?
HEAT: Never mind.
(sung) Black Mage can be nice.
KRATOS:
If it stuck to Ice.
HEAT:
Go for something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow that twice.
KRATOS:
Something coming soon?
HEAT:
If you’re after something with style,
You might try a mild Dragoon.
Eat the whole platoon.
Really just as good on a spear as a spoon.
KRATOS:
Is that Squire,
On the fire?
HEAT:
What, no. Something this tender?
It has to be Vendor.
KRATOS:
Looks greater.
Calculator?
LOVETT:
No, it has to be Vendor -
It's green!
KRATOS:
The history of the world, good man-
HEAT:
Save a lot of graves,
Make a lot of warriors stronger.
KRATOS:
Is scraping by on what little you can!
HEAT:
Keeps the HP up,
Gonna get the fights to go longer.
KRATOS:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
That those above mean XP down below!
HEAT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... There’s Soldier.
KRATOS: Something... colder.
HEAT: Fonist?
KRATOS: Something honest.
HEAT: Slayer?
KRATOS: Something gayer.
HEAT: Riskbreaker?
KRATOS: Something…awake-er.
HEAT: Astrologer.
KRATOS: …
HEAT:
Here’s a slice of Knight.
KRATOS:
Maybe if it’s light.
HEAT:
If you don’t mind Drain
And can take the pain,
Dark’s a tasty bite!
Mercenary’s free,
Level twenty-three.
KRATOS:
That looks pretty rank.
HEAT:
Well, he tended to wank,
And a lot, you can see.
Never really sold.
Seventeen years old.
KRATOS:
Have you any Titan?
HEAT:
Next week, so I'm told.
Titan isn't bad once you fight it,
Then you can’t deny it’s a feast.
Stick to Priest.
(spoken) This one’s a little bit stringy, but then of course it's Archer.
KRATOS: No, this isn't Archer -- it's Sniper.
HEAT: How can you tell?
KRATOS: It's got breast meat!
HEAT: RRAGH---
KRATOS:
The history of the world, sir Heat --
HEAT:
Yeah, got it now.
You’ve got it now.
What does it say?
KRATOS:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
HEAT:
Who gets to hunt,
Who gets to rot,
Who gets away.
KRATOS:
But fortunately, it's also clear
BOTH:
That everybody gets eaten in here!
HEAT: (spoken) Since Soldier doesn't appeal to you, how about a Turk?
KRATOS: Too drunken. I prefer General.
HEAT: Too much Mako. Gets into your system and makes you crazy.
KRATOS: What’s that one?
HEAT:
It's Bard.
Got a little hard.
But there’s also Pirate and Thief,
And if that’s your belief, full of lard.
And you've just begun --
Here's Generic Henchman, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!
KRATOS:
Don’t forget your gun.
Well, you never know if he’s going to run!
HEAT:
Maybe later,
Mediator?
KRATOS:
No, Orators are really
Too coarse and too mealy!
HEAT:
A hard worker-
Try Berserker.
KRATOS:
Yes, he always comes up overdone.
I'll come again when you have GOD on the menu!
HEAT: …I like your style.
MECHAZAWA: [entering] I would not describe ‘god’ as particularly tasty. It tends to repeat on you.
HEAT: …
KRATOS: …
INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: But he’s a-
MECHAZAWA: [stoops to poke at the pool of carnage that is mow Masa] Also, musical comedy is considered in poor taste at this school. No matter how many heads you rip off, singing like that will diminish your cred. Consider humming instead.
.
I'll just be over here.