Top Fannish Five Meme, Part 2
Part 3 will have to wait for a little bit because I'm going to be on the road and Internet-light (not entirely without access, thank goodness) again, though not for as long as before...
Top Five Times You Wish Comics Canon Had Gone Differently
(There's a theme here which can be summed up as "Damn it, DC, if you must make decisions I don't like, at least stick to them." The first three are all in that category).
1. Jason Todd. Killing a character because of a poll is just lame. But then once he's dead and you've used his death fairly well for angsty purposes, leave him dead. But if you really must bring him back, at least have some sense of where his character stands instead of writing him sixteen different ways in two years.
2. Sin and Helena. I wasn't keen on dropping babies on Dinah and Selina at all. But once you decide to do it, don't have them both say within half a year, "Gosh, I guess I'm just not able to be a hero and a mother at the same time" and send them off. That's lame.
3. Parallax. I don't really like "Hero goes rogue and misuses their power" storylines. But once you do it and you set Hal Jordan up as a tragically flawed hero, don't decide later that gosh, actually he was mind controlled by a space bug and it wasn't actually his responsibility. And especially don't have him back in canon whining about how heroes need to be more proactive.
4. Kon and Kal's relationship. This was kind of screwed from the beginning, because the original canon was that Superboy wasn't Kal's clone, and wasn't even Kryptonian--he was a human designed to appear Kryptonian. As such, there was no real reason for Kal to treat him like family, and Superboy wasn't interested in having that kind of relationship. That's all fine. The problem is that when they later decided to retcon it so that he was Kal's clone, they didn't bother to change their distant relationship at all, which resulted in Kal being really OOC. They've started to patch that up, but it was sloppy writing.
5. Identity Crisis. Just...all of it. My problems with this storyline are many, but the major gripe I have is that it forces an "ethical crisis" that shouldn't even exist. We're supposed to get all emo and woeful because superheroes are removing memories of their secret identities from villains, but that's bull. The way I see it, once a villain discovers a hero's secret identity, you have three options:
A. Resign yourself to the fact that Linda Park, Lois Lane, and Alfred Pennyworth are going to die grotesque, painful deaths.
B. Kill the villain.
C. Remove the memories.
C seems the most humane, not some kind of monstrous act. And I don't accept that there's a slippery slope that leads from memory removal to personality modification to messing with your teammates' minds. That's like saying, "Superman punches Lex Luthor to beat him, so it follows that eventually it will escalate to him ripping off Luthor's head and pissing down his neck. Also, obviously he will start beating up Ralph Dibny as well." Uh, no. That's why we have that "heroes" part of "superheroes"--because these are people who use power wisely. In short, if I could pick a storyline to excise from the DCU, this would probably be it.
Top 5 Pick Up Lines Clark Used to Get Bruce in Bed
1. "So...is that a batarang in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
2. "Did you know that as a Kryptonian I have no need to breathe? Or a gag reflex, for that matter?"
3. "Considering sexual tension is bad for team morale, if we're going to be in the League together..."
4. [touching a scar on Bruce's collarbone] "So, how far down do those sexy scars go?"
5. Nothing at all, he just stood there and blushed and stammered until Bruce got tired of waiting and jumped him.
Top Five Times in Canon (Comics or Animated) that Showed Clark loves Bruce
This one killed me when theclexfactor asked for it, because I was chagrined to realize that there are far more canon moments where Bruce shows he cares intensely about Clark than vice versa! Maybe because Clark is more open about caring in general, there are far fewer moments where he dramatically shows he cares about Bruce. However, they are definitely out there.
1. Shogun of Steel, because given an AU where Bruce is the "appropriate" gender, Kal has eyes for no one else in the world.
2. Emperor Joker. Little context is needed, but the Joker has created an alternate world in which Bruce has been tortured endlessly to the point where his mind has cracked under the weight of those terrible memories.
3. Starcrossed, from the animated series. The League is defending Earth from an army of Thanagarians, and Batman has decided the only way to stop them is to pilot the Watchtower into their base. He's stayed on board to make sure it stays on-target. Superman's busy fighting the army, but ditches the battle completely (without telling anyone, mind you!) to rush to save Bruce.
4. The Savage Time, from the animated series. The League (except for Batman) has been thrown into an alternate world in which the Nazis won WWII. They find Batman as a freedom fighter who gives his life to get them back in time to change the past. When they get back to the present, Superman reacts to finding Bruce alive with a six-second hug. :) The hug scene starts at 8:00:
5. Absolute Power, Superman/Batman #17. My scans of this are crap, but Superman takes a blow with a Kryptonite sword to save Batman, saying "...I could not let you die..."
Top Five Times You Wish Comics Canon Had Gone Differently
(There's a theme here which can be summed up as "Damn it, DC, if you must make decisions I don't like, at least stick to them." The first three are all in that category).
1. Jason Todd. Killing a character because of a poll is just lame. But then once he's dead and you've used his death fairly well for angsty purposes, leave him dead. But if you really must bring him back, at least have some sense of where his character stands instead of writing him sixteen different ways in two years.
2. Sin and Helena. I wasn't keen on dropping babies on Dinah and Selina at all. But once you decide to do it, don't have them both say within half a year, "Gosh, I guess I'm just not able to be a hero and a mother at the same time" and send them off. That's lame.
3. Parallax. I don't really like "Hero goes rogue and misuses their power" storylines. But once you do it and you set Hal Jordan up as a tragically flawed hero, don't decide later that gosh, actually he was mind controlled by a space bug and it wasn't actually his responsibility. And especially don't have him back in canon whining about how heroes need to be more proactive.
4. Kon and Kal's relationship. This was kind of screwed from the beginning, because the original canon was that Superboy wasn't Kal's clone, and wasn't even Kryptonian--he was a human designed to appear Kryptonian. As such, there was no real reason for Kal to treat him like family, and Superboy wasn't interested in having that kind of relationship. That's all fine. The problem is that when they later decided to retcon it so that he was Kal's clone, they didn't bother to change their distant relationship at all, which resulted in Kal being really OOC. They've started to patch that up, but it was sloppy writing.
5. Identity Crisis. Just...all of it. My problems with this storyline are many, but the major gripe I have is that it forces an "ethical crisis" that shouldn't even exist. We're supposed to get all emo and woeful because superheroes are removing memories of their secret identities from villains, but that's bull. The way I see it, once a villain discovers a hero's secret identity, you have three options:
A. Resign yourself to the fact that Linda Park, Lois Lane, and Alfred Pennyworth are going to die grotesque, painful deaths.
B. Kill the villain.
C. Remove the memories.
C seems the most humane, not some kind of monstrous act. And I don't accept that there's a slippery slope that leads from memory removal to personality modification to messing with your teammates' minds. That's like saying, "Superman punches Lex Luthor to beat him, so it follows that eventually it will escalate to him ripping off Luthor's head and pissing down his neck. Also, obviously he will start beating up Ralph Dibny as well." Uh, no. That's why we have that "heroes" part of "superheroes"--because these are people who use power wisely. In short, if I could pick a storyline to excise from the DCU, this would probably be it.
Top 5 Pick Up Lines Clark Used to Get Bruce in Bed
1. "So...is that a batarang in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
2. "Did you know that as a Kryptonian I have no need to breathe? Or a gag reflex, for that matter?"
3. "Considering sexual tension is bad for team morale, if we're going to be in the League together..."
4. [touching a scar on Bruce's collarbone] "So, how far down do those sexy scars go?"
5. Nothing at all, he just stood there and blushed and stammered until Bruce got tired of waiting and jumped him.
Top Five Times in Canon (Comics or Animated) that Showed Clark loves Bruce
This one killed me when theclexfactor asked for it, because I was chagrined to realize that there are far more canon moments where Bruce shows he cares intensely about Clark than vice versa! Maybe because Clark is more open about caring in general, there are far fewer moments where he dramatically shows he cares about Bruce. However, they are definitely out there.
1. Shogun of Steel, because given an AU where Bruce is the "appropriate" gender, Kal has eyes for no one else in the world.
2. Emperor Joker. Little context is needed, but the Joker has created an alternate world in which Bruce has been tortured endlessly to the point where his mind has cracked under the weight of those terrible memories.
3. Starcrossed, from the animated series. The League is defending Earth from an army of Thanagarians, and Batman has decided the only way to stop them is to pilot the Watchtower into their base. He's stayed on board to make sure it stays on-target. Superman's busy fighting the army, but ditches the battle completely (without telling anyone, mind you!) to rush to save Bruce.
Click to view4. The Savage Time, from the animated series. The League (except for Batman) has been thrown into an alternate world in which the Nazis won WWII. They find Batman as a freedom fighter who gives his life to get them back in time to change the past. When they get back to the present, Superman reacts to finding Bruce alive with a six-second hug. :) The hug scene starts at 8:00:
5. Absolute Power, Superman/Batman #17. My scans of this are crap, but Superman takes a blow with a Kryptonite sword to save Batman, saying "...I could not let you die..."