From Twitter 05-05-2011

May 06, 2011 04:01




  • 13:27:49: @ isplotchy I will accept that.
  • 13:28:03: RT @heliumcell: I shudder to think! RT @introvertedwife: @ heliumcell I wonder what happens if Big Bird gets the Green Lantern Ring.
  • 13:28:13: RT @MaybeNotSteve: If you own an American flag Snuggie you never have to pay taxes again.
  • 13:28:42: @ jamesforeman Did you rob a museum?
  • 13:28:53: RT @davesusetty: Black=no real top answer, but some included 'bin bags' and 'my heart'. But @ mitdasein wins with 'Sabbath'.
  • 13:44:18: RT @genegeorge: @ mitdasein I'm the Max Ernst of inflated cacti sailing majestically through the mists of useless time. @louistwermann
  • 13:50:33: Dude, Where's My Çatalhöyük? #archaeologyfilms
  • 13:52:00: RT @ljLoch: @ stukershaw here's to an ionic day #ff #faraday #shakethoseelectrons
  • 13:58:42: This one goes to @ScreaminEmmy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLr5EXyoQCE
  • 14:01:08: RT @HeyitsLori: Writing a check at the grocery store is an excellent way of letting people know you have a plastic rain hat in your purse.
  • 14:02:09: RT @HeyitsLori: I bought one of those "Hang In There!" posters with the kitty in the tree. Thought it would add a bit of charm to my pan ...
  • 14:03:33: Walk the Linear B #archaeologyfilms
  • 14:06:54: Whenever my UK tweeps use the tag #bbcqt it makes me hungry for #bbq.
  • 14:08:02: RT @ladybirdj: I just told a wino that he could use a lot less whine and a lot more wine and he replied that oral homophone jokes weren' ...
  • 14:08:19: @ ladybirdj He's clearly a homophoneophobe.
  • 14:10:38: Enemy Minoan #archaeologyfilms
  • 14:12:26: No really, Investigation Discovery. I didn't have anything else I was supposed to do today.
  • 14:22:48: @ panzertron Good question. I've noticed that in a couple shows recently.
  • 14:23:56: @ genegeorge You win.
  • 14:24:15: RT @kristenmchugh22: @ amandapalmer as long as we live in a world where nonsexual nudity is NSFW, we need you to keep making the internet ...
  • 14:24:23: RT @Atrios: no offense intended to either people with gout or penis problems. just an observation
  • 14:25:37: RT @amandapalmer: non. c'est un revolution. vive la vagine!! RT @ NomentionofKev "This is not a pipe." http://twitpic.com/4tuzir
  • 14:32:36: "And this map will help me tunnel my way to freedom?" @ amandapalmer http://twitpic.com/4tv51l
  • 14:40:12: @ funnyguy Redundant?
  • 14:42:05: @ ScreaminEmmy I'll check with my wife and cat.
  • 14:42:39: RT @amandapalmer: it will. take very special care of this map. RT @ mitdasein "And this map will help me tunnel my way to freedom?" http: ...
  • 14:43:45: RT @amandapalmer: @ mitathehermette i am here to destroy your boredom with my naked body.
  • 14:45:57: There are definitely worse things to do on an asthmatic afternoon than look at a naked picture of @amandapalmer. http://twitpic.com/4tv51l
  • 14:50:46: RT @Ahm76: p.s. If your favorite John Corbett is Carrie Bradshaw's boyfriend from Sex in the City, consider all of my regard rescinded.
  • 14:51:25: @ OregonZoo I do! @aimeemann and k.d. lang!
  • 14:52:14: RT @monkfishy: President Obama hates "white culture". What is that - Barry Manilow & tanning salons? Hey, me too!
  • 14:55:02: @ monkfishy I have the good/bad habit of resurrecting old tweets from Favstar.
  • 14:57:37: @ monkfishy http://favstar.fm/users/monkfishy
  • 15:01:20: WARNING: Favstar can be extremely habit-forming.
  • 15:14:43: @ toddlevin You could pay someone in India to go to the bathroom for you.
  • 15:15:13: Am I racist for being surprised that Aphrodite Jones is white?
  • 15:16:12: @ SteveHuff "Have to"? Or else you get the probe again?
  • 15:16:57: @ poemblaze That's just what they want you to think.
  • 15:18:35: Future civilizations will judge us particularly harshly when they realize Toddlers & Tiaras started AFTER the JonBenet Ramsey case.
  • 15:18:42: RT @Grayman_: @ mitdasein Nobody is actually racist. It's an in-joke that got out of control.
  • 15:19:54: If your timeline isn't baffling enough, there's always @h0mfr0g.
  • 15:20:02: RT @themanwhofell: Those of us of a certain age will remember Pam Ayres releasing a whole album of Vaseline-based poetry. It haunted our ...
  • 15:22:50: I'm totally going to ask my doctor about Niaspan because my imaginary brother from the ad looked it up online.
  • 15:26:53: @ introvertedwife I would think you liked me if you did that to me.
  • 15:30:16: JonBenet…Princess Diana…Mother Theresa…1997 was a milestone in the history of people caring about things that had nothing to do with them.
  • 15:30:25: RT @stevewhitaker: TRIVIA: Ernest Hemingway watched 13 hours of "Yo Gabba Gabba" once, then went and bought the shotgun.
  • 15:32:20: RT @hellatuff: I would not be surprised if, when I talked in my sleep, one of the things I said was, "your tweets, re-tweeted..."
  • 15:33:17: @ a_musedly Have you tried searching for your former self on Friendster?
  • 15:33:43: I Am Spam #PreservedMeatMovies
  • 15:36:38: There should be a Fox News/Chuck E. Cheese crossover with animatronic plush figures of Glenn Beck and Shawn Hannity.
  • 15:38:12: @ johnmoe I bet you've been hammering away at that joke all day.
  • 15:39:20: @ introvertedwife Maybe you need more fiber.
  • 15:40:06: @ chucknicecomic Hey! Whatever happened to your viral video show?
  • 15:42:21: @ shamroxmysox Thanks for clearing that up, representative of the African-American community™!
  • 15:44:01: @ Im_Tricia That's not the whole story. You could be a lesbian.
  • 15:47:59: @ shamroxmysox Do you all have big penises, or just the men? #themoreyouknow
  • 15:49:22: It occurs to me that some of you might be under/misinformed about White People™. I am here to answer all your questions. #AskAWhitePerson
  • 15:51:04: @ shamroxmysox Fascinating. I guess that really gives new meaning to "plug and play."
  • 15:51:29: RT @bluharmony: Nihilism in intellectually appealing & probably even correct, but it's about as pragmatically useful as the debate over ...
  • 15:51:42: @ bluharmony Oh SNAP! @camusdude
  • 15:52:03: @ debenham Nothing to be embarrassed about. We all love your wife.
  • 15:52:57: @ ScottFriedstein I like that, but I don't know if O'Reilly would agree to hold the No-Spin Zone in a ball pit.
  • 16:00:50: #AskAWhitePerson Jews are pretty cool, but Mexicans gave us guacamole. RT @ vruba Other than white, what is your favorite race or ethnicity?
  • 16:01:32: #AskAWhitePerson Gangsta rap, mainly. RT @ vruba What kind of music do white people like?
  • 16:02:54: #AskAWhitePerson No more than any other documentary. RT @ vruba Do you feel that “Frasier” contributed to stereotypes about white people?
  • 16:04:24: Most cereal-pissing is actually white-on-white. RT @ CKJ411 why do white people suck so much? Who pissed in their cereal? #askawhiteperson
  • 16:06:15: Twas never a problem for me. RT @ vruba Is it true that children in the white community are sometimes bullied for not being “white enough”?
  • 16:07:53: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner. Nobody puts baby in the spotlight."
  • 16:08:49: @ sgnp Are you performing? I missed something.
  • 16:10:47: @ Caissie Are you the gay couple, or is @debenham the gay couple? @DrLawyercop
  • 16:11:49: Oh yeah. @ zolakat sandwich. @CKJ411
  • 16:12:23: @ lateandsoon I just assume all of you are figments of my imagination. @debenham @Caissie
  • 16:13:37: @ zolakat Are you pulling the Danger Cart?
  • 16:13:49: RT @stevewhitaker: Fine, fuck you, National Review. I'll just send my Nixon/Goldwater slashfic somewhere else.
  • 16:14:52: @ ScreaminEmmy He's over 14 pounds. Is your decolletage reinforced?
  • 16:15:18: @ zolakat You're the shotzula.
  • 16:20:08: @ ScreaminEmmy This is a trick question, right?
  • 16:23:00: RT @sgnp: The thing that's happening in Portland at 7pm, in case you missed it: http://t.co/GLUdYYG
  • 16:23:14: RT @OTOOLEFAN: RT @Marnus3: RT @steveweinstein: I remember when Bush dropped everything to get bin Laden...I mean Terry Schiavo. #p2
  • 16:35:21: @ trumpetcake That would explain why my hemorrhoids are all tingly-fresh.
  • 16:37:31: I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Twitter has hemorrhoid bots.
  • 16:53:35: @ spicypixi You've got to hand it to that guy. @mikeyeah17
  • 16:56:18: I really like that one movie that Vin Diesel wasn't in.
  • 16:57:46: @ davesusetty "ay followers"? What does Fonzie have to do with this?
  • 16:59:01: Hebrew National DIY Brisket #misguidedproductnames
  • 17:26:43: Laconica #quietbands
  • 17:27:21: @ Freya80 Thank you.
  • 17:31:46: OH: "If you can take a dick, you can take a joke."
  • 17:32:46: @ Freya80 Most people don't know this about me, but I'm rather fond of women.
  • 17:34:46: One of these days I'm totally going to jack one of those little Red Bull cars.
  • 17:35:27: @ crhaan Arguably the highlight of my day.
  • 17:37:08: It's probably a good thing I don't work in healthcare because I would giggle whenever anyone said "PCP."
  • 17:43:08: What do you mean it's supposed to have a T in it? http://twitpic.com/4tx5as
  • 17:48:23: Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's trickle-down economics.
  • 18:14:44: I could swear I just saw Seth Meyers make a fart noise into his iPhone while running down the sidewalk.
  • 20:25:07: RT @sgnp: Successful night! Ran into @ mitdasein and @carolynmain, which is always wonderful. Train home tomorrow in time for Spin the Bo ...
  • 20:26:16: @ The_Critic I usually get about 1 month of asthma each summer. Got an early start this year.
  • 20:26:50: RT @JeremyCShipp: I just received a note from my future self that reads: DON’T TWEET ABOUT THIS NOTE. But I can’t help myself.
  • 20:57:59: It's so cute when guys think that John Wayne movies are an appropriate source for one's moral worldview.
  • 23:48:57: Butthole Smurfers #smurfbands #pbd


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