Lies behind Those smiles
Its been a week (I think) since I'm in this hospital. I hate being here. This medicines, medications, the kind of food that I can only eat, and other things. It made me realize how sick I am. I had another heart attack this morning. I can't breath, can't move, can't stand, can't speak. I might be in hospital but I still realize that no one can help be in those times. I can't do anything but to cry. To cry 'cause it hurts too much. It's too painful. Sometimes, I think of giving up. Saying "It's not fair. Why can't I just have an ordinary life and live happily? I just want to experience how good life is. God is not fair" . But I can't give up yet. Not for myself but for my loved ones.
I'm just still breathing because of them.
They just smile at me like nothing's wrong. But I saw sadness in their face. I can't help but to blame myself. I can't do anything. I'm helpless.
I used to question my mother why she still smile despite that she knows until when she will live. Now I know. You just have to smile back to let them know, I'm okay.
I'm just still breathing because of them.
They just smile at me like nothing's wrong. But I saw sadness in their face. I can't help but to blame myself. I can't do anything. I'm helpless.
I used to question my mother why she still smile despite that she knows until when she will live. Now I know. You just have to smile back to let them know, I'm okay.