Thinking thoughts of younger times
So. Haven’t really posted recently. My mum is away and being completely alone makes me introspective. This blog has been brewing for a while. It was first jump started by a lowly “Writer’s Block” question on LJ. I can’t remember it exactly but it was something like “Do you think yourself at 13 would be happy with who you are now?”. That question literally blew my mind and put me in a funk (hi Kristy!) for days. And then I remembered, I could find out whether my 13 year old self would be happy with how I turned out.
See, I was a little kooky as a kid. One day I wrote myself a letter from Past Laura to Future Laura. And since I’ve moved a billion times since Past Laura wrote that letter, I had forgotten about it, until that LJ Writer’s Block. I went searching for it and found it.
Considering that the first line of this letter is “I hope you’ve done something with you life”, I don’t think that my 13 year old self would be pleased with who I am today. And one of the last lines is “You can do anything you want to do- just go for it”. I think I was more hopeful when I was 13, which is surprising because I remember puberty as a very dark and dismal time. Maybe I wrote this letter before puberty hit. Nowadays, I’m more of a slacker. I have about 1% ambition for my life. I wouldn’t say that I’m happy to go with the flow, it’s just that I can’t be arsed to go against it.
My 13 year old self helpfully added a list of things to do (if I haven’t already) that will help me get my life on track. Here they are for your reading pleasure:
1) Get a dog
Well, I did have a dog- and then it moved to New Zealand. Long story. Basically I think what Past Laura was trying to say is that animals make us happy. I haven’t forgotten that. Nowadays I volunteer with my local animal shelter and hope one day to turn that into a full time career.
2) Get a flat in London
Ugh, to the Laura of the present a flat in London is like the worst idea ever. Past Laura wanted the excitement of a big city and I don’t think she could see that we would move a billion times and now here I am living in Australia. I’ve now lived in big cities and some I love, case in point, New York and Edinburgh. But London, not really my cup of tea. And I’ve lived in Sydney here in Australia, but now I have hit my slacker stride, I like my easy going life on the Gold Coast.
3) Work in London (optional)
I like that I put this as optional. See, even as a kid I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Again I think the point was to inject a little bit of big city living into my life. Been there, done that- not for me.
4) Have met someone famous
I love that this was important enough to me to include on a list such as this. I’ve met celebrities, I even got to meet my favourite character from my favourite TV show. I’ve gushed in front of celebrities (OMG, SO embarrassing) and I’ve been super cool in front of them. Well, my version of super cool.
5) Go to your favourite group’s concert
Britney Spears was one of my favourites at 13. And she still is one of my faves. And last year I got to cross that off my list. High five, Laura of the past! It was just as awesome as we’d dreamed it would be.
6) Have a boyfriend
I fail so miserably at this one. I think the Laura of 13 would be absolutely horrified if she knew that there would be a whole ten plus years of singledom ahead of her. And writing that out kinda sucks but it really hasn’t been that bad. Yeah, I’ve been on dates and I’ve hung out with certain boys so much, we were practically dating but I’ve never had a special someone. I’m ok with it, I’ve made my peace with it. Some days I feel like my life sucks because of this one ‘failure’ in an area in my life. But it really isn’t.
There were a few other things I added but not in list form. My favourite is: ‘Don’t smoke, drink or take drugs- not even the occasional glass of wine’. Well, I’ve never smoked or partaken in drugs. But drinking? Quite a different story. Sorry Past Laura. I know when I was younger I desperately wanted to be different from other people, to stand out and I guess being teetotal was one way I could do that?
I also urged myself to be like Phoebe from ‘Friends’. Now that is no way to live! Being a self-employed masseuse who is so ditzy, I don’t know how she survives. Again, I think I just wanted to be different from everyone I knew. And also everyone really liked Phoebe. I think I just wanted to be sweet and eccentric when I grew up. I hope I’ve achieved that.
I also told myself not to worry about the future. Sound advice. And to have a high school reunion. I think I’ll pass on that one. The last few lines are as follows “Two cows in a field. One says ‘moo’ and the other cow says “I was just going to say that!”. Unfortunately my sense of humour hasn’t matured.
And there you go. Wow, initially when I first read the letter I was actually quite sad. Young Laura was so full of hope for the future and I really felt like I’d let me down. But on closer examination, I haven’t gone too shabby. Although I may not have ticked off al the boxes, I’m on the right track. And you know what? I think I’m going to write a letter to the new Laura of the Future.
See, I was a little kooky as a kid. One day I wrote myself a letter from Past Laura to Future Laura. And since I’ve moved a billion times since Past Laura wrote that letter, I had forgotten about it, until that LJ Writer’s Block. I went searching for it and found it.
Considering that the first line of this letter is “I hope you’ve done something with you life”, I don’t think that my 13 year old self would be pleased with who I am today. And one of the last lines is “You can do anything you want to do- just go for it”. I think I was more hopeful when I was 13, which is surprising because I remember puberty as a very dark and dismal time. Maybe I wrote this letter before puberty hit. Nowadays, I’m more of a slacker. I have about 1% ambition for my life. I wouldn’t say that I’m happy to go with the flow, it’s just that I can’t be arsed to go against it.
My 13 year old self helpfully added a list of things to do (if I haven’t already) that will help me get my life on track. Here they are for your reading pleasure:
1) Get a dog
Well, I did have a dog- and then it moved to New Zealand. Long story. Basically I think what Past Laura was trying to say is that animals make us happy. I haven’t forgotten that. Nowadays I volunteer with my local animal shelter and hope one day to turn that into a full time career.
2) Get a flat in London
Ugh, to the Laura of the present a flat in London is like the worst idea ever. Past Laura wanted the excitement of a big city and I don’t think she could see that we would move a billion times and now here I am living in Australia. I’ve now lived in big cities and some I love, case in point, New York and Edinburgh. But London, not really my cup of tea. And I’ve lived in Sydney here in Australia, but now I have hit my slacker stride, I like my easy going life on the Gold Coast.
3) Work in London (optional)
I like that I put this as optional. See, even as a kid I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Again I think the point was to inject a little bit of big city living into my life. Been there, done that- not for me.
4) Have met someone famous
I love that this was important enough to me to include on a list such as this. I’ve met celebrities, I even got to meet my favourite character from my favourite TV show. I’ve gushed in front of celebrities (OMG, SO embarrassing) and I’ve been super cool in front of them. Well, my version of super cool.
5) Go to your favourite group’s concert
Britney Spears was one of my favourites at 13. And she still is one of my faves. And last year I got to cross that off my list. High five, Laura of the past! It was just as awesome as we’d dreamed it would be.
6) Have a boyfriend
I fail so miserably at this one. I think the Laura of 13 would be absolutely horrified if she knew that there would be a whole ten plus years of singledom ahead of her. And writing that out kinda sucks but it really hasn’t been that bad. Yeah, I’ve been on dates and I’ve hung out with certain boys so much, we were practically dating but I’ve never had a special someone. I’m ok with it, I’ve made my peace with it. Some days I feel like my life sucks because of this one ‘failure’ in an area in my life. But it really isn’t.
There were a few other things I added but not in list form. My favourite is: ‘Don’t smoke, drink or take drugs- not even the occasional glass of wine’. Well, I’ve never smoked or partaken in drugs. But drinking? Quite a different story. Sorry Past Laura. I know when I was younger I desperately wanted to be different from other people, to stand out and I guess being teetotal was one way I could do that?
I also urged myself to be like Phoebe from ‘Friends’. Now that is no way to live! Being a self-employed masseuse who is so ditzy, I don’t know how she survives. Again, I think I just wanted to be different from everyone I knew. And also everyone really liked Phoebe. I think I just wanted to be sweet and eccentric when I grew up. I hope I’ve achieved that.
I also told myself not to worry about the future. Sound advice. And to have a high school reunion. I think I’ll pass on that one. The last few lines are as follows “Two cows in a field. One says ‘moo’ and the other cow says “I was just going to say that!”. Unfortunately my sense of humour hasn’t matured.
And there you go. Wow, initially when I first read the letter I was actually quite sad. Young Laura was so full of hope for the future and I really felt like I’d let me down. But on closer examination, I haven’t gone too shabby. Although I may not have ticked off al the boxes, I’m on the right track. And you know what? I think I’m going to write a letter to the new Laura of the Future.