(no subject)
Type your cut contents here.
Feb 17th
I feel refreshed after a night at the hotel. We drove to the Masai Mara, which took about 5 hours even though they told us it was 3. We saw the Great Rift Valley. I never knew what that place was except that lots of violence occurred there, however Steve made us feel safe. We do a bunch of random stops along the way, supposedly to “obey nature” as they say. I know this is some scam though. For some reason we always end up at a shop and people try to sell us things. I’ve never had such persistent, annoying, and pushy people try so hard to get me to buy stuff. It’s gotta be one of the most annoying things ever. Our driver has to get some commission if we buy something, I’m sure of it. I told Jen this on day 1 but she never believes me. Finally she is coming around.
Upon entering the park gate the damn Massai women showed us their same jewelry, using the same English phrases as the ones in the past. Jen was grumpy today and I thought she would yell at them, but she stayed calm. She wasn’t so calm when we arrived at our latest campsite. Actually, it’s not even camping so much because we have these tiny shacks to stay in. She started crying immediately. This time she is scared of the people instead of the animals.
We have some of the tribal Massai men work in our campsite. I must say, I’m such a sucker for their tribal gear. They wear these red like dresses and they always have some blanket/shawl thing wrapped around them, usually in purple or a pattern with more red. They have belts that hold their cute knives. At times I have seen some wear cool colored feathers in their hair and some interesting beaded jewelry. I told Steve it’s a good idea that I don’t go to their village. He said that maybe they would trade me for something and asked one of the men how many cows I would go for. One man said 50, which is really good. As for goats, 60. Steve tested me to see if I would be a good Massai wife by asking me the following questions: Can you count the cows, sheep, and goat each day when your man is off at work? I answered yes. Can you fetch the water from the river if there are lions nearby? I answered yes, but only if I had some weapon. I said my biggest problems would be the fact that my husband would have 5 other wives, beat me if I didn’t count the livestock correctly, and most likely my friends would never come to visit me in the tribe.
I asked Steve if Jen was the most scared person he has ever encountered in his 5 years of doing safaris. His answer- yes.
Monday Feb 18, 2008
Last night was another pill popping night. Another airplane-like experience in our shack of a room. I will never be one of those pill poppers, but seriously, there is not much to do here at night.
Today was a great game drive. One of the better looking Massai men came along. His name was Bondi. He was looking at me in a different way than he was looking at Jen. Later I found out that everyone said I liked the Massai men. He probably thinks I wanna be his 5th wife or something. I need to know how many cows he has before I even think about it though. I really only like their outfits rather than the actual men. Jen and I are trying so hard to have fake crushes. We have changed our lingo a bit to go along with the culture here. A hot guy is worth 30 cows or more. So far I have only seen a guy worth 3.
We saw lots of cheetahs today. They are the sexiest animals alive. I could watch them walk for hours. We were watching one cheetah sneak up on some gazelles, but they move soooo freaking slow that we gave up before the attack went down, if it did go down.
We saw about 100 buffalos at one time, in one place. One had just had a baby, and had some bloody stuff coming out of her vagina. The baby was still wet with the birth goo.
Steve’s goal was for us to see a rhino. For some reason I thought there would be rhinos everywhere, but there aren’t much. In our park there are only about 24, and thanks to Bondi, we found one.
We asked Steve why he hated the wart hogs so much. His reason were the following: they have strings as tails, they have disgusting faces, when the male sits he always sits on his balls (this is true, their balls are literally on the outside of their ass), and when they are scared they go in a hole ass first (I’m not quite sure why this is a negative though).
Today I made Jen not segregate us. Last night the Kenyans were sitting in one area and Jen chose to sit far away from them. I told her I felt weird having the white section and the black section. We brought some chairs over to chat with some of the guys tonight. Everyone talks constantly about Bush, Obama and Clinton. When I ask the men, who are not married, how many wives they want, surprisingly they all say “just one,” “one is enough.” Riiiiiight.
It feels like I have been gone so long already…..