floating fast like a hummingbird

[mitad_del_mundo]

They weren't kidding about the whole reverse-culture-shock thing.  For my first couple of days home I breathed fresh farm air and walked in the sunshine and went outside in the dark.  But now I am absolutely purposeless.  En serio, really aimless.  Today I made homemade soup.  A few days ago I made strawberry pie, and I crushed the almonds up by hand, and I found little flowery leaves outside and coated the undersides with melted chocolate and froze them and peeled off the leaves and used the decorative chocolate leaves around the pie crust.  I'm not kidding.  I can't sit still to read more than a chapter out of a book, or even watch TV, because it feels like I'm just staring at a box - nothing can catch my attention anymore.  Sometimes I sleep just because I have nothing else to do, or even if I do have things to do, I will drive myself crazy thinking if I stay awake.  I feel antsy all the time, even the first moment that I wake up, and right before I fall asleep.  I've started running again, and even that doesn't calm me down.  It's a dreadfully unpleasant thing I've got going here, and I hope it doesn't last long.

My friends probably saved me from having some sort of conniption this weekend, for which I am eternally grateful.  Cake-batter testing and 3am heart-to-hearts do a body good.  (Guys, I wasn't kidding about coming to visit.  All the time.  I'll wash dishes and buy groceries and bring blondies, as long as I can get a reprieve from my sudden-onset ADHD.)

Okay.  I have to go find something else to do with myself.  Maybe we still have coloring books.