(no subject)
So things are starting to catch up with me.
I already quit pledging Phi Delta Epsilon. Yeah, One whole day & I left. I have my reasons but probably the biggest one is that I really am just truly not a fraternity person - even if it's academically based.
I'm coming up to the one month slump... a little early. I've been depressed & stressed out. I keep asking myself If I made the right choice. I did because they offer what I want to do with the rest of my life... but at what expense?
I haven't made any friends except for the ones I have known at home... but even they they have their own agendas & friends they have already made. I hardly see anyone but who could blame them?
My suitemates have bonded without me. They are all freshman so of course they would bond more with each other than me. I try to go out, I try to connect but no luck. It just feels like high school all over again... but I just feel even more alone. I miss my family so much. I miss ben too, but I talk to him about once a day though.
I haven't had a hug since my mom left. I'm used to getting at least one a day... from everyone (especially in school). I miss everyone in Buffalo more than some might realize. The people I met in Buffalo have changed my life for the better. They helped me be who I really am & actually like the good in me. They understand me more than most i have come in contact with... It's that bond made when I also was a freshman.
Maybe I'm taking too much on. Maybe I just have too much time. All I know is that I don't want to feel this upset...because I'm becoming physically ill from it.
I already quit pledging Phi Delta Epsilon. Yeah, One whole day & I left. I have my reasons but probably the biggest one is that I really am just truly not a fraternity person - even if it's academically based.
I'm coming up to the one month slump... a little early. I've been depressed & stressed out. I keep asking myself If I made the right choice. I did because they offer what I want to do with the rest of my life... but at what expense?
I haven't made any friends except for the ones I have known at home... but even they they have their own agendas & friends they have already made. I hardly see anyone but who could blame them?
My suitemates have bonded without me. They are all freshman so of course they would bond more with each other than me. I try to go out, I try to connect but no luck. It just feels like high school all over again... but I just feel even more alone. I miss my family so much. I miss ben too, but I talk to him about once a day though.
I haven't had a hug since my mom left. I'm used to getting at least one a day... from everyone (especially in school). I miss everyone in Buffalo more than some might realize. The people I met in Buffalo have changed my life for the better. They helped me be who I really am & actually like the good in me. They understand me more than most i have come in contact with... It's that bond made when I also was a freshman.
Maybe I'm taking too much on. Maybe I just have too much time. All I know is that I don't want to feel this upset...because I'm becoming physically ill from it.