just wutever
I don’t get any of this at all. It hurts so bad. I cant take it. I cant even talk. My life is over as I know it. Things in my heart will never feel the same. Its like a part of me is ripped out of my soul. He took everything. My strength, my courage, my being. Myself. He took tears mostly away from my insides. He made them come to fast n too strong. Too long n too hard. Why? Oh this hurts so f’in bad. I wish I didn’t care. I prob did this all to myself. I broke up with him n then I gave him my heart again n he crushed it. He has no idea wut I feel like. He doesn’t love me. He loves the idea of me. I wish all of this would go away. I help every1 but myself. I can help her, n him, n them over there. But when it comes 2 me, no1 cares. I want him out of my life. I want to forget about the love I once had. I don’t want to remember at all. I want to think I had nothing. I had want to think he was nothing more than a crush. But he was sumthin. Sumthin way more. I kno it deep down inside. Im sick of the pain already. My cheeks r drenched with salt licking tears. My back feels like 1000 lbs of weight have been put on. I have no reason to live. I have no reason to hope. So I will live my life day by day, dreaming and wishing for sumthin to hold on to. N one day, someday, I will be ok. Where I wont have to worry. N I wont have 2 care. Bout if my feelings r still there. Bc they will be roting away n will be no more. Cept ashes of dust that once stood for sumthin that is now soar. God life is so confusing, so unnerving. For people can come n go, but ur true love always holds a memory. I can never let him go. I know that truly. But for now he will go in my treasure box deep inside my brain when someday I will be digging through n remember “oh yeah, look wut I once had.” n I will laugh n cry at the same time n I will know. N I will remember. How much a smile truly means.