A Quote...That will END everything...
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
This is a quote that I've stumbled upon across just now and while reading, it just so reminds me of the times that I used to have.
I can't believed how far that I had went to get my life back into place again; not that easy. A year had passed and I could remember during those agony periods. The period of crying my heart out, the period of forgiveness, the period of hate...and of course, a moment of love.
It's all over. And the more that I knew it IS really all over when for the past 3 nights, I've been chatting up with one of my friend, whom her identity will not be disclosed, a friend that I got even closer due to an incident. I got fairly disgusted but there's nothing that can be done. What's over, it's really over.
Sometimes, I hate myself for going through a phase that I don't want to go through at all. In all of my years, I had been very careful. Careful about the way on how I should lead my life, and most importantly, careful of not hurting myself. I want a first love that can last a long time. But apparently, reality hits hard down the ground. First love that doesn't mean it will give you a long-term happiness. It is just only... luck.
I have finally realized that it is really blessing in disguise. Without major setbacks, I wouldn't find the path that I really want to go, and also asking myself, what I really want. Without seeing true colours of that person now, I think, I wouldn't forget the period where I had loved and hurt terribly before. Needless to say, the man that I have given my heart to.
With such a further betrayal that I have accidentally stumbled upon onto recently (with the addition of an 'offending' conversation that I had with you 2 weeks ago), I had truly turned hard-hearted. No longer I will want to hear the exsistence of such a person alive in this world. Never...in this lifetime of mine. If you want to know what you've done, I'd think, it's good that if you can ASK yourself that question. But do me a GREAT favour...JUST-GET-LOST!!
Don't need to use your 'excellent' acting skills upon me or on another person anymore again because I don't belong to the panel of judges in those talent search shows, and neither they are too. If you think that your skills are in abuandance, go for one of those talent search shows' auditions. I bet they really need you very badly.
What am I still doing in here when I need to wake up pretty early to prepare myself for an interivew?