By the light og a brothel lantern
So last night after much debate and internal turmoil I called him at midnight by the light of the brothel lantern near my desk on the floor. I didn't know what to say, so I just said "This is going to sound really awkward, but I like you a lot, and I am just wondering if you return any of those feelings or I am wasting my time" Then we both laughed about how awkward it sounded. He told me that it wasn't a waste of time, but it kind of was because he didn't want to be in a relationship now. But we established that we both liked eachother a lot. In the middle of my head I know that it is most likely not the best time for me to be in a relationship and in the back of my mind i know that since right now i am leading the best of being single and attached i probably just convinced myself i want this as a security blanket for my insecurities.
But i really like him a lot. I told him that a lot of times when I'm with guys people ask me "why are you with him?", but with him there is a common vibe, and he agreed. I really like him, he just makes sense to me.
I've been having the strangest dreams...last night I dreamed I was in my yard fucking my ex boyfriend up the ass (?) and melissa was a few feet away having a seizure induced my alcohol and pills. but i just kept fucking him up the ass untill my parents came home and made me take her to the hospital. I feel like such a bad friend.
But i really like him a lot. I told him that a lot of times when I'm with guys people ask me "why are you with him?", but with him there is a common vibe, and he agreed. I really like him, he just makes sense to me.
I've been having the strangest dreams...last night I dreamed I was in my yard fucking my ex boyfriend up the ass (?) and melissa was a few feet away having a seizure induced my alcohol and pills. but i just kept fucking him up the ass untill my parents came home and made me take her to the hospital. I feel like such a bad friend.