(no subject)
The Eyes of the Beholder.
Sometimes I wonder what other’s eyes behold. What is the true nature of their reflection, and why are they so often misleading. What do they so blatantly know?
I’ve seen that look before. The look that says ‘I know you’, or ‘ I think I know you’.
It’s confusing and frustrating. One part of me is willing to take advantage, willing to see that reflection up close, and yet the other already knows the outcome of such an impulse.
I have many regrets. Not all of them are focused on such impulsive reactions, but most (certainly) are.
Once, not so long ago, I wanted to dominate every man I saw. I wanted to climb all over anyone who gave me that specific look. I hated them, and loved them all the same because they would never see the real thing that I truly was. What that was I couldn’t tell you because over the past several months I’ve found myself very, very different than before.
I’ve left my husband, my home, my dog and all my friends. I’ve moved to a new city and worked many odd jobs as well as my previous one to survive. I’ve been with a few different people, gone a few new places and even said good-bye to my lover. The life I had no longer exists but only in pictures I can’t bring myself to view anymore. Not that I regret that life. I just don’t want to think about who I was trying to be. It’s definitely not who I am now.
What am I now?
Sometimes I wonder what other’s eyes behold. What is the true nature of their reflection, and why are they so often misleading. What do they so blatantly know?
I’ve seen that look before. The look that says ‘I know you’, or ‘ I think I know you’.
It’s confusing and frustrating. One part of me is willing to take advantage, willing to see that reflection up close, and yet the other already knows the outcome of such an impulse.
I have many regrets. Not all of them are focused on such impulsive reactions, but most (certainly) are.
Once, not so long ago, I wanted to dominate every man I saw. I wanted to climb all over anyone who gave me that specific look. I hated them, and loved them all the same because they would never see the real thing that I truly was. What that was I couldn’t tell you because over the past several months I’ve found myself very, very different than before.
I’ve left my husband, my home, my dog and all my friends. I’ve moved to a new city and worked many odd jobs as well as my previous one to survive. I’ve been with a few different people, gone a few new places and even said good-bye to my lover. The life I had no longer exists but only in pictures I can’t bring myself to view anymore. Not that I regret that life. I just don’t want to think about who I was trying to be. It’s definitely not who I am now.
What am I now?