(no subject)
Ooookay. I followed my gut instinct.
Talked with the landlady, told her how I felt as TAMELY as possible and she understood. She even mentioned she was sad to lose me and she felt our relationship would have been a good one. She appreciated that I was prompt and professional and mature about the whole situation. I wrote my 30 day moving notice letter anyway just to follow through and I've been refunded. So now that that's over, I'm still in my brother's basement. Was nice to have keys of my own for a while...
So the hunt continues. I need to find a minute to sit down get back to art. I haven't drawn a thing since like... September? I kinda hate myself for taking more commissions even though I'm finished with all of the others. I can't even get onto a computer to UPLOAD anything. My brother has a laptop but he always takes it to work and when it's here at work. Typing from my phone has lost it's novelty... FG is just... Okay, half of me wants to snatch it down because I don't feel like dealing with constantly explaining "HEY I DON'T HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD RIGHT NOW. SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING FREE COMIC PAGES!" I'm not sorry for not having time to work on anything besides getting an apartment and moving.
And I need to mail out the last of those print sets. GUWAH! This is depressing and stressful. At night it feels like someone's standing on my chest staring at me with a "YOU FAIL" expression on their face... The deep sense of failure or not being good enough is really, REALLY getting to me. I even considered going to the hospital late last night because I just felt insanely afraid and alone... At one point my older brother came downstairs to make some tea and I almost couldn't stop myself from sobbing and telling him all the shit that was bothering me... But I kinda don't like the idea of breaking down in front of him...
I know things will work out. I'm just exhausted with how complicated it is for simple things to WORK for me. I need the universe to finally go "Hey, I've fucked with this girl enough. Bored now!"
I've absorbed half a box of Tension Tamer tea... It helps way more than I thought it would.
Talked with the landlady, told her how I felt as TAMELY as possible and she understood. She even mentioned she was sad to lose me and she felt our relationship would have been a good one. She appreciated that I was prompt and professional and mature about the whole situation. I wrote my 30 day moving notice letter anyway just to follow through and I've been refunded. So now that that's over, I'm still in my brother's basement. Was nice to have keys of my own for a while...
So the hunt continues. I need to find a minute to sit down get back to art. I haven't drawn a thing since like... September? I kinda hate myself for taking more commissions even though I'm finished with all of the others. I can't even get onto a computer to UPLOAD anything. My brother has a laptop but he always takes it to work and when it's here at work. Typing from my phone has lost it's novelty... FG is just... Okay, half of me wants to snatch it down because I don't feel like dealing with constantly explaining "HEY I DON'T HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD RIGHT NOW. SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING FREE COMIC PAGES!" I'm not sorry for not having time to work on anything besides getting an apartment and moving.
And I need to mail out the last of those print sets. GUWAH! This is depressing and stressful. At night it feels like someone's standing on my chest staring at me with a "YOU FAIL" expression on their face... The deep sense of failure or not being good enough is really, REALLY getting to me. I even considered going to the hospital late last night because I just felt insanely afraid and alone... At one point my older brother came downstairs to make some tea and I almost couldn't stop myself from sobbing and telling him all the shit that was bothering me... But I kinda don't like the idea of breaking down in front of him...
I know things will work out. I'm just exhausted with how complicated it is for simple things to WORK for me. I need the universe to finally go "Hey, I've fucked with this girl enough. Bored now!"
I've absorbed half a box of Tension Tamer tea... It helps way more than I thought it would.