Endless fall
I guess life is like a roller coaster, you never know what 'thrill' you will get around the next bend, but just like that gift from your distant relatives your pretty sure you ain't gonna like it.
Thing's would have seemed pretty nice in my life, if my happiness wasn't a lie. I cannot talk to my friend's, sure they tell me to, saying that I am a friend and it's best to tell them. Yet I know deep down, they don't want to hear me whine again. So I come here.
What brought this 'sarrow' about? Confusion is what, for the most part. No one is acting the same, or maybe it is just me. When I ask "How are you?" I get the same responce "Good, you?" Yet, I always get this feeling, they are not as good as they let on. I may be depressed 65% of the time, but I still am friend enough to want to know what truely ails my friends.
It hurts me to think, they cannot come to me, that they would rather talk to someone else and get help from someone other than me. I know it sounds strange, wanting to help others, when I cannot even help myself. Truth is, my minds more at rest just knowing those I care about are well.
I spend most my time now, either mulling over the past, or crying inside at a pain I cannot pin down. I have fears building, that honestly, are more spastic then my sleep pattern. They range and very in strength, the worse by far is that I am losing three friends close to me.
Liz, Lissi, and B-chan ... I know it's probably just my imagination, but it's really been eatting away at me. The truth behind my strange moods, just don't know what to do anymore. ;.; I am afraid to talk to them, because I just don't know how to talk to them about it. B-chan so much is just always gone, but yeah ... meh. x.x I need sleep ... badly.
Thing's would have seemed pretty nice in my life, if my happiness wasn't a lie. I cannot talk to my friend's, sure they tell me to, saying that I am a friend and it's best to tell them. Yet I know deep down, they don't want to hear me whine again. So I come here.
What brought this 'sarrow' about? Confusion is what, for the most part. No one is acting the same, or maybe it is just me. When I ask "How are you?" I get the same responce "Good, you?" Yet, I always get this feeling, they are not as good as they let on. I may be depressed 65% of the time, but I still am friend enough to want to know what truely ails my friends.
It hurts me to think, they cannot come to me, that they would rather talk to someone else and get help from someone other than me. I know it sounds strange, wanting to help others, when I cannot even help myself. Truth is, my minds more at rest just knowing those I care about are well.
I spend most my time now, either mulling over the past, or crying inside at a pain I cannot pin down. I have fears building, that honestly, are more spastic then my sleep pattern. They range and very in strength, the worse by far is that I am losing three friends close to me.
Liz, Lissi, and B-chan ... I know it's probably just my imagination, but it's really been eatting away at me. The truth behind my strange moods, just don't know what to do anymore. ;.; I am afraid to talk to them, because I just don't know how to talk to them about it. B-chan so much is just always gone, but yeah ... meh. x.x I need sleep ... badly.