juror twenty-five was not selected
Come home. Get mail. Greet dog. Put on pajamas. INTERNET FOREVER!!!!!
Things Indi Learned (And Or Did) Today At The Courthouse:
I got a letter about a month ago for jury duty. I'd ignored the past summons... or two, would that be summonses? I can't remember if it was one or two, but I figured I'd better go this time. So I woke up way too early (this is my body's new thing, all of a sudden: either I cannot wake up or it's all HEY I GOT US UP THREE HOURS EARLY THIS IS GOOD RIGHT?) and put on clothes that didn't look or smell like Riley had been sleeping on them (though she had) and my goofy red boots and packed a backpack with stuff and hied myself hence.
Then did the traditional circling through downtown Tampa because god fucking forbid Google remember which street goes which way or is actually connected instead of dead-ending into a vacant lot, and how are there still vacant lots out there?
I amused the people manning the door by popping up and happily announcing: "You summoned me. Here I am!" I signed the thing I forgot to sign and handed my form to a lady who tore off a bit of it and handed it back, and then I waited for a very long time. At some point during all of this, one of the judges came in and made some jokes and explained a few things and thanked us a lot and said we're so very very important. We're a trapped audience, you don't have to mock us, dude.
Eventually I was called up with... oh, I'm no good at numbers, you know that, 30 or 40 other people? Ish? We were the fourth group that got called up, and we were then told that we had about half an hour to bum around or get snacks or whatever. So we wandered off and did that. The courthouse has a surprisingly decent cafeteria, upstairs. Pressed Cuban-bread toast with cheese? Yesplz. Nom nom. Once we reconvened, we were taken out into the hallway by a... a bailiff? A sheriff's deputy, doing courthouse sheepdogging, and he lined us up in the hallway in three rows. He told us to remember the people in front of and behind us, then led us on a merry chase across the street (in a raised building connector thingie) and up elevators and down corridors. NOW LINE UP AGAIN PLEASE.
I feel the need to note that this guy reminded me of one of those fighting roosters. Not particularly big, but very... puffed-up, and sort of over enthusiastic about what he was doing. It is SRS FUCKING BUSINESS to herd a docile group of sleepy law-abiding citizens, I tell you what.
Deputy Rooster finally led us into the courtroom proper, after lining us all up again, and then we sat down on long wooden benches, like church pews. Then we stood up because ALL RISE BLAHDAYADDA DO I HEAR TWO TWO HUNNED DO I HEAR THREE THREE HUNDRED FIFTY DO I HEAR THREE FIFTY AND COMING AROUND ON THE OUTSIDE IS SECRETARIAT ETC and the judge came in and we may be seated, so help us god. So we were seated.
Then we got talked to by the judge, and had stuff explained, and then stuff started to happen. What happened was something I had not expected, being that I am mostly if not entirely uninterested in legal dramas and therefore have little concept of The Law outside that movie Chicago.
That is not how it went, unfortunately. It was dead quiet (the guy next to me jumped when I cracked my knuckles) and there were no sequins. What we got was four lawyers in suits, a few more bailiffs, a judge with robes but NO WIG ALAS, state and country flags, a court recorder, and the defendant in question. It was explained to us that he was being hauled up on charges of I think stalking with a weapon. So everyone said hi and thanked us.
What happened next was: we got questioned. It's.. there's a name for this, I can't recall, something Latin that vaguely translates to "there's no wrong answer, be honest here guys." We got asked about employment, about any prior jurying, whether we knew any cops, whether we could adhere and uphold the laws of This Great Nation (which were repeated in detail) and then it got to the part I'm proud of.
They asked if, given the particulars of the case - stalking, weapon - anyone would not be able to be impartial. Someone in the first or second row (I was in the third) said something about getting mugged.
So I raised my hand, and without stuttering or um ah like like uh um ahhhh -- I just told 'em, clear as this: I had experienced domestic abuse and there is no way I could be impartial in a situation like this. Which is true. I sorta wanted to stay just to give the guy trouble, and that is the opposite of all the impartiality they'd impressed on us.
I felt really fucking good about that, because YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE BAD THINGS NOT EVER EVER EVER -- but I did. I didn't go up to the judge and say it privately. I said it out loud, without stuttering or mumbling, so that it was Recorded In Court and everything, and I kept eye contact with the lawyer when I did it.
Because fuck that silence and shame bullshit. That's what lets this all keep going.
After I said that, two more women raised their hands and were all "Uh, yeah, what she said? That happened to me too." I felt really fucking good about that too, like maybe me saying this as casually as if I was talking about the weather meant it was okay for them to talk about what happened to them, too. Maybe it was. Maybe I helped. I have no way of knowing. Oh, and the lawyer thanked me for speaking up about it too. Which is a refreshing change from.... most everybody.
After that there isn't much to tell. We left the room and sat around outside it: everyone turned their phones back on and went taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap, me included, but surprisingly some people clustered together in groups to talk. Then we went back in, and a list of names were picked to be the jury, and the rest of us were thanked and excused. Deputy Rooster corralled us outside and told us to re-reconvene about an hour later, in case any further cases needed our sound judging.
I got lunch (my chicken sandwich fell apart and I ate it with a fork, causing the lady sitting at the table with me to laugh) and then sat in the Juror Auditorium (which is just a big room) and IT GOT VERY COLD, HOLY CRAP, and I wrapped me in a scarf pashmina shawl thing my mom had got me a few years back, and I read some, and internetted as best I could, and shared jokes and tic-tacs with people nearby, and "see, it's not that I mind being here, I'd just rather be useful if I'm going to be here," and the I tried using the Force on people, to see if folks really do get twitchy when they're being stared at. Yes, they do. Two hours of sitting later, we were told we were free to go, thanked again, and reminded that we were exempt for the next year. People cheered and clapped.
Then I found a goddamn parking ticket on the car because something is amiss with the license plate. I don't know what. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
Oh yeah: there was a cop on a Segway. I valiantly did not fall down laughing at that.
Things Indi Learned (And Or Did) Today At The Courthouse:
I got a letter about a month ago for jury duty. I'd ignored the past summons... or two, would that be summonses? I can't remember if it was one or two, but I figured I'd better go this time. So I woke up way too early (this is my body's new thing, all of a sudden: either I cannot wake up or it's all HEY I GOT US UP THREE HOURS EARLY THIS IS GOOD RIGHT?) and put on clothes that didn't look or smell like Riley had been sleeping on them (though she had) and my goofy red boots and packed a backpack with stuff and hied myself hence.
Then did the traditional circling through downtown Tampa because god fucking forbid Google remember which street goes which way or is actually connected instead of dead-ending into a vacant lot, and how are there still vacant lots out there?
I amused the people manning the door by popping up and happily announcing: "You summoned me. Here I am!" I signed the thing I forgot to sign and handed my form to a lady who tore off a bit of it and handed it back, and then I waited for a very long time. At some point during all of this, one of the judges came in and made some jokes and explained a few things and thanked us a lot and said we're so very very important. We're a trapped audience, you don't have to mock us, dude.
Eventually I was called up with... oh, I'm no good at numbers, you know that, 30 or 40 other people? Ish? We were the fourth group that got called up, and we were then told that we had about half an hour to bum around or get snacks or whatever. So we wandered off and did that. The courthouse has a surprisingly decent cafeteria, upstairs. Pressed Cuban-bread toast with cheese? Yesplz. Nom nom. Once we reconvened, we were taken out into the hallway by a... a bailiff? A sheriff's deputy, doing courthouse sheepdogging, and he lined us up in the hallway in three rows. He told us to remember the people in front of and behind us, then led us on a merry chase across the street (in a raised building connector thingie) and up elevators and down corridors. NOW LINE UP AGAIN PLEASE.
I feel the need to note that this guy reminded me of one of those fighting roosters. Not particularly big, but very... puffed-up, and sort of over enthusiastic about what he was doing. It is SRS FUCKING BUSINESS to herd a docile group of sleepy law-abiding citizens, I tell you what.
Deputy Rooster finally led us into the courtroom proper, after lining us all up again, and then we sat down on long wooden benches, like church pews. Then we stood up because ALL RISE BLAHDAYADDA DO I HEAR TWO TWO HUNNED DO I HEAR THREE THREE HUNDRED FIFTY DO I HEAR THREE FIFTY AND COMING AROUND ON THE OUTSIDE IS SECRETARIAT ETC and the judge came in and we may be seated, so help us god. So we were seated.
Then we got talked to by the judge, and had stuff explained, and then stuff started to happen. What happened was something I had not expected, being that I am mostly if not entirely uninterested in legal dramas and therefore have little concept of The Law outside that movie Chicago.
That is not how it went, unfortunately. It was dead quiet (the guy next to me jumped when I cracked my knuckles) and there were no sequins. What we got was four lawyers in suits, a few more bailiffs, a judge with robes but NO WIG ALAS, state and country flags, a court recorder, and the defendant in question. It was explained to us that he was being hauled up on charges of I think stalking with a weapon. So everyone said hi and thanked us.
What happened next was: we got questioned. It's.. there's a name for this, I can't recall, something Latin that vaguely translates to "there's no wrong answer, be honest here guys." We got asked about employment, about any prior jurying, whether we knew any cops, whether we could adhere and uphold the laws of This Great Nation (which were repeated in detail) and then it got to the part I'm proud of.
They asked if, given the particulars of the case - stalking, weapon - anyone would not be able to be impartial. Someone in the first or second row (I was in the third) said something about getting mugged.
So I raised my hand, and without stuttering or um ah like like uh um ahhhh -- I just told 'em, clear as this: I had experienced domestic abuse and there is no way I could be impartial in a situation like this. Which is true. I sorta wanted to stay just to give the guy trouble, and that is the opposite of all the impartiality they'd impressed on us.
I felt really fucking good about that, because YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE BAD THINGS NOT EVER EVER EVER -- but I did. I didn't go up to the judge and say it privately. I said it out loud, without stuttering or mumbling, so that it was Recorded In Court and everything, and I kept eye contact with the lawyer when I did it.
Because fuck that silence and shame bullshit. That's what lets this all keep going.
After I said that, two more women raised their hands and were all "Uh, yeah, what she said? That happened to me too." I felt really fucking good about that too, like maybe me saying this as casually as if I was talking about the weather meant it was okay for them to talk about what happened to them, too. Maybe it was. Maybe I helped. I have no way of knowing. Oh, and the lawyer thanked me for speaking up about it too. Which is a refreshing change from.... most everybody.
After that there isn't much to tell. We left the room and sat around outside it: everyone turned their phones back on and went taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap, me included, but surprisingly some people clustered together in groups to talk. Then we went back in, and a list of names were picked to be the jury, and the rest of us were thanked and excused. Deputy Rooster corralled us outside and told us to re-reconvene about an hour later, in case any further cases needed our sound judging.
I got lunch (my chicken sandwich fell apart and I ate it with a fork, causing the lady sitting at the table with me to laugh) and then sat in the Juror Auditorium (which is just a big room) and IT GOT VERY COLD, HOLY CRAP, and I wrapped me in a scarf pashmina shawl thing my mom had got me a few years back, and I read some, and internetted as best I could, and shared jokes and tic-tacs with people nearby, and "see, it's not that I mind being here, I'd just rather be useful if I'm going to be here," and the I tried using the Force on people, to see if folks really do get twitchy when they're being stared at. Yes, they do. Two hours of sitting later, we were told we were free to go, thanked again, and reminded that we were exempt for the next year. People cheered and clapped.
Then I found a goddamn parking ticket on the car because something is amiss with the license plate. I don't know what. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
Oh yeah: there was a cop on a Segway. I valiantly did not fall down laughing at that.