I got One Eyed Jack a gargantuous new cage, which is good because the more space the better, for hamsters. I decided to put it on my grandmother's writing desk, where it is to share space with my mother's giant old photo enlarger. The enlarger is bolted to a thick pressboard base, with a laminate cover, and has rubber feet beneath that.
I mis-measured when I was checking the dimensions of the thing, and it turned out that the cage and enlarger would have to overlap if I wanted them both to share the same surface. This was a problem, because the enlarger base is fairly thick and I did not want a dramatically slanted hamster cage. It occurred to me that the space beneath was about book-sized.
I cast about a bit, looking for a book that would be better served by making a hamster cage level than by sitting out and occasionally getting read. After some thinking, the solution presented itself: the copy of Twilight that Ceeg sent to make me swear. FINALLY, A GOOD USE FOR THAT BOOK!
Jack would like you all to stop laughing so he can get back to sleep.