roller coaster ride...
WOO HOO!!!
I'm friggin EMO!!!
...
eh i've just been all over the friggin place in the past 24hours. like, i'm having withdrawals!!! *twitch* i'm like up and down like a rollercoaster! yay for rollercoasters!!!
i talked to kendrick last night...i think i hurt him again...i shouldnt have even bothered. i'm not even sure why i did. i suppose i miss the companion-ship. its fun talking to him...but he just isn't my type, which is why i ended it...it killed me, seeing him hurt like that...he was my first love and everything...he knew everything about me, he knew when i was hurting and he was always there for me...he was so sweet...but he was too immature, too loud and boisterous. even now, it still kinda hurts to think of him...but everyone's got their memories and scars to remind them...i miss him, but i also hurt him...almost killed him (well, he almost killed himself because of me...) i really loved him, with all my heart. its over tho, and those feelings have diminished. its a faded memory that once in a while decides to slap me across the face again.
i'm afraid of the future. i'm afraid of making plans. yet here i am doing it again anyway...what if it doesnt work? what if it all just falls on down? why do i even bother?!
...i love him. i love jeff.
I'm friggin EMO!!!
...
eh i've just been all over the friggin place in the past 24hours. like, i'm having withdrawals!!! *twitch* i'm like up and down like a rollercoaster! yay for rollercoasters!!!
i talked to kendrick last night...i think i hurt him again...i shouldnt have even bothered. i'm not even sure why i did. i suppose i miss the companion-ship. its fun talking to him...but he just isn't my type, which is why i ended it...it killed me, seeing him hurt like that...he was my first love and everything...he knew everything about me, he knew when i was hurting and he was always there for me...he was so sweet...but he was too immature, too loud and boisterous. even now, it still kinda hurts to think of him...but everyone's got their memories and scars to remind them...i miss him, but i also hurt him...almost killed him (well, he almost killed himself because of me...) i really loved him, with all my heart. its over tho, and those feelings have diminished. its a faded memory that once in a while decides to slap me across the face again.
i'm afraid of the future. i'm afraid of making plans. yet here i am doing it again anyway...what if it doesnt work? what if it all just falls on down? why do i even bother?!
...i love him. i love jeff.