My first meaningful post in awhile
Today was my 1 year anniversary, and it's gotten me thinking about a lot of things.
So much has happened in a year.
I've made friends and lost them.
I've learned thing about my friends I didn't know before.
I've learned things about myself I didn't know before.
Some I like.
Some I don't.
I am very aware that this is a confusing time for most adolescents, and I am in no way alone. It only feels that way.
(And, for those who are reading this, I am in no way saying that you don't mean the world to me. There are just stages in my life, like this one, in which I feel very alone, regardless of how many people surround me.)
Once again, I am and remain to be the remorseful "heroine" of this sad tale. And I use the term extremely loosely.
And so, loyal readers, we rejoin our herione in the self imposed cage of lonliness she created, in a vain attempt to protect herself from hurting anymore.
It is obvious to us, but she is yet to realise the significance of this man-made trapping. In that, by creating this cage, not only has her pain remained, it has doubled and multiplied. Again, at the fault of our heroine.
It is through of her blindness which led to the desctruction of friendships, and even though there have been attmepts made, by both parties, our reluctant heroine will never change.
She will always remain the same persson, regardless of how she changes her outside appearance.
For some reason, this narrative is helping to no end. I have successfully avoided making some extremely unwelcome phone calls and am once more content to let everyone live their lives in peace.
And I can also talk about myself in first person again.
I have done things to people which i regret and i have had things done to me which i also regret, even if they don't.
But, looking back on it all, despite everything that has happened, I don't think i'd change it, even if I could, or wanted to.
I know that I'm a different person now because of everything that's happened and I think it's time to start the new phase of my life.
Now, i'm in limbo, unsure of who I am, and who I want to be.
But tomorrow is a new day, and I think it's time to change something.
Unusually optimistic,
Sam
So much has happened in a year.
I've made friends and lost them.
I've learned thing about my friends I didn't know before.
I've learned things about myself I didn't know before.
Some I like.
Some I don't.
I am very aware that this is a confusing time for most adolescents, and I am in no way alone. It only feels that way.
(And, for those who are reading this, I am in no way saying that you don't mean the world to me. There are just stages in my life, like this one, in which I feel very alone, regardless of how many people surround me.)
Once again, I am and remain to be the remorseful "heroine" of this sad tale. And I use the term extremely loosely.
And so, loyal readers, we rejoin our herione in the self imposed cage of lonliness she created, in a vain attempt to protect herself from hurting anymore.
It is obvious to us, but she is yet to realise the significance of this man-made trapping. In that, by creating this cage, not only has her pain remained, it has doubled and multiplied. Again, at the fault of our heroine.
It is through of her blindness which led to the desctruction of friendships, and even though there have been attmepts made, by both parties, our reluctant heroine will never change.
She will always remain the same persson, regardless of how she changes her outside appearance.
For some reason, this narrative is helping to no end. I have successfully avoided making some extremely unwelcome phone calls and am once more content to let everyone live their lives in peace.
And I can also talk about myself in first person again.
I have done things to people which i regret and i have had things done to me which i also regret, even if they don't.
But, looking back on it all, despite everything that has happened, I don't think i'd change it, even if I could, or wanted to.
I know that I'm a different person now because of everything that's happened and I think it's time to start the new phase of my life.
Now, i'm in limbo, unsure of who I am, and who I want to be.
But tomorrow is a new day, and I think it's time to change something.
Unusually optimistic,
Sam