Friends right?
friend (frěnd)
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
That (obviously) is the definition of friend, brought to us by dictionary.com
I have very few people who I consider to be actual friends, and very people who I hang out with reguarly.
Last friday I went over to R's house. Kri had called me and told me that all of them were going over there and staying the night. I figured that R had indeed invited me, and Kri was just given the task of calling me. Because we work like that. A series of networking calls.
So I show up. I walk into R's kitchen and she just stares at me and says, "I didn't invite you."
Dead silence.
I looked at Kri, "Kri called me and said..."
Kri turned to Sam and said, "Well when Sam called me she said to call May and invite her."
So we all stared at Sam and she said, "Well...I just assumed she was invited"
I have never in my whole life felt that aweful.
So for the rest of the night I felt out of place. I mean it is bad enough they go places and hang without me all the time, but the one time I am invited it turns out to be a mistake.
My respect for R went down. Which is sad because she was my first friend after I moved her. my first TRUE friend I had thought.
but apparently not. I am the back up friend to her. Always have been, and apparently always will be. I get called when nothing else is happening, because I force things to happen. It's a talent.
Just thinking about it depresses me, and I have no one I can talk to about it.
Because apparently I am unwanted and have no friends. The people I do hang out with when it is not those three I kind of don't like because they think they know everything when in reality they don't. and it pisses me off.
Don't argue with me about the beliefs of an athiest.
Look at the greek roots of the word.
Clearly it means they don't belief in any god at all.
I would know, my dad is the biggest athiest on the planet.
And then Keam comes over and after our photo shoot we started complaining about religios bigots and she doesn't even know what she is talking about!!
It was really annoying.
but I got some really kewl pictures....
Yeah, and then we took a bunch of Keam. And she didn't like half of them because she had dyed her hair...orange-ish, yellow that morning. and called me at work twice to complain about it.
Thanks to this particular lady half of my months minutes are gone now.
And she apparently doesn't understand the meaning of "Don't call when I am at work."
I was almost really glad to see her go. But sad because we didn't finish our photo shoot.
I took a small nap. I am tired, and I miss my girlfriend. For a bit there was I deeply afraid that I was falling out of love with her. but then I realized something, I wasn't. I just had reached that stage where I was no longer fawning over her all the time. Now that she has moved into her new house (trailer) my life doesn't have to always revolve around her anymore. For a while there it was like all I did was school, work, my girlfriend.
...well...talk to her anyways. XD
anyways, back to my friends....
I really don't know how to react over them. I normally just act as they do, or I laugh it off.
but sometimes I do feel as though we only hang because they feel obligated to invite me. And that things would be more fun for them if I wasn't there, holding them back with my parents rules.
I don't know, maybe I look into this way to much. But probably not.
The more and more I think about it, the more and more I am tempted to just give up and hang out with myself all the time. I mean I like hanging with them, they are probably the most fun people I have ever been with. But all their inside jokes, and actually haveing lax rules almost makes it not worth it. I don't want to ruin their good time, because if it were me, I wouldn't want my good time ruined either.
Out of the three of them Kri I think is the most my friend and sometimes I think she avoids me, like online. I don't talk to Sam much anyways, she is more of R's friend. Infact she is R's best friend. R would rather hang out with her than anyone. And they do that, all the time. Sam doesn't even have to knock anymore when she goes to R's house, she just walks in. After knowing R for only 3 years. I have known R for *counts on fingers* 8 years. 8 years we have hung out randomly. And I still don't know a lot about her.
...maybe this distance is all my fault, I probably am one of those characters that I hate.
but there really isn't anything I can do about that.
so for now I guess I can just deal with trying to be myself and questioning my friends motives.
and be depressed about the fact I can't talk to them.
Some friends right?
my definition of a friend:
A friend is a person whom you could never change. Even if you could you've come to love their faults as much as their vitrues.
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
That (obviously) is the definition of friend, brought to us by dictionary.com
I have very few people who I consider to be actual friends, and very people who I hang out with reguarly.
Last friday I went over to R's house. Kri had called me and told me that all of them were going over there and staying the night. I figured that R had indeed invited me, and Kri was just given the task of calling me. Because we work like that. A series of networking calls.
So I show up. I walk into R's kitchen and she just stares at me and says, "I didn't invite you."
Dead silence.
I looked at Kri, "Kri called me and said..."
Kri turned to Sam and said, "Well when Sam called me she said to call May and invite her."
So we all stared at Sam and she said, "Well...I just assumed she was invited"
I have never in my whole life felt that aweful.
So for the rest of the night I felt out of place. I mean it is bad enough they go places and hang without me all the time, but the one time I am invited it turns out to be a mistake.
My respect for R went down. Which is sad because she was my first friend after I moved her. my first TRUE friend I had thought.
but apparently not. I am the back up friend to her. Always have been, and apparently always will be. I get called when nothing else is happening, because I force things to happen. It's a talent.
Just thinking about it depresses me, and I have no one I can talk to about it.
Because apparently I am unwanted and have no friends. The people I do hang out with when it is not those three I kind of don't like because they think they know everything when in reality they don't. and it pisses me off.
Don't argue with me about the beliefs of an athiest.
Look at the greek roots of the word.
Clearly it means they don't belief in any god at all.
I would know, my dad is the biggest athiest on the planet.
And then Keam comes over and after our photo shoot we started complaining about religios bigots and she doesn't even know what she is talking about!!
It was really annoying.
but I got some really kewl pictures....
Yeah, and then we took a bunch of Keam. And she didn't like half of them because she had dyed her hair...orange-ish, yellow that morning. and called me at work twice to complain about it.
Thanks to this particular lady half of my months minutes are gone now.
And she apparently doesn't understand the meaning of "Don't call when I am at work."
I was almost really glad to see her go. But sad because we didn't finish our photo shoot.
I took a small nap. I am tired, and I miss my girlfriend. For a bit there was I deeply afraid that I was falling out of love with her. but then I realized something, I wasn't. I just had reached that stage where I was no longer fawning over her all the time. Now that she has moved into her new house (trailer) my life doesn't have to always revolve around her anymore. For a while there it was like all I did was school, work, my girlfriend.
...well...talk to her anyways. XD
anyways, back to my friends....
I really don't know how to react over them. I normally just act as they do, or I laugh it off.
but sometimes I do feel as though we only hang because they feel obligated to invite me. And that things would be more fun for them if I wasn't there, holding them back with my parents rules.
I don't know, maybe I look into this way to much. But probably not.
The more and more I think about it, the more and more I am tempted to just give up and hang out with myself all the time. I mean I like hanging with them, they are probably the most fun people I have ever been with. But all their inside jokes, and actually haveing lax rules almost makes it not worth it. I don't want to ruin their good time, because if it were me, I wouldn't want my good time ruined either.
Out of the three of them Kri I think is the most my friend and sometimes I think she avoids me, like online. I don't talk to Sam much anyways, she is more of R's friend. Infact she is R's best friend. R would rather hang out with her than anyone. And they do that, all the time. Sam doesn't even have to knock anymore when she goes to R's house, she just walks in. After knowing R for only 3 years. I have known R for *counts on fingers* 8 years. 8 years we have hung out randomly. And I still don't know a lot about her.
...maybe this distance is all my fault, I probably am one of those characters that I hate.
but there really isn't anything I can do about that.
so for now I guess I can just deal with trying to be myself and questioning my friends motives.
and be depressed about the fact I can't talk to them.
Some friends right?
my definition of a friend:
A friend is a person whom you could never change. Even if you could you've come to love their faults as much as their vitrues.