If Count Von Krolock Had a Diary...
Dec. 27th, 1862
Dear Diary,
Wishing there was Chinese delivery around here--too busy decorating for the ball to go out and get some real food, and all the peasants taste all garlicky now, ew. I also need to figure out what to serve at this shindig, farmer or farmer? LOL!
I'm off to to go get the candelabras from the attic and be fabulous.
Dec. 29th, 1862
Dear Diary,
The hunchback tells me there's some smokin' hot red head getting dirty with her sponge in the bathtub in the village. We're off to go do a pantie raid or some shit.
[Later]
Seduced said wench with my awesome cape-twirling abilities. Lady-killer at work!
Dec. 30th, 1862
Dear Diary,
OMFG, you are never going to believe. So Sarah is on her way to the castle right? And her DAD starts following her up here! AS IF HE WERE INVITED, HOW RUDE. He had a big mouthful of garlic too, it was just disgusting. Party crasher, nothxkbai.
Still made him into an appetizer though, ZING.
Krolock: 1 Idiot Villagers: 0
PS OH FFS, now the idiot Professor and his eunuch assistant are at the front door. I am never going to get my hair done in time for the ball!!!!!!!!!