State of Things
I've decided that instead of sitting in my home hiding my feelings, I'm going to go ahead and just lay it out. I'm depressed and super lonely. I say nothing because everytime I do I am told I am a) being ridiculous, b) being emo, c) throwing a pity party, or d) have no reason to be upset because I have it so good. Because of this I have spent the last (roughly) 6 months quite in the basement crying. Since I moved, my group of friends has been getting smaller. Since I got with David, it has pretty much disappeared. Besides David, his sister, and my family, I have two friends I talk to on a semi regular basis and that is kept to texts (due to shitty phone signal). I'll say it right now, if it wasn't for Sean and Lauren, I'd be pretty certain I had no one at all. I keep making excuses. I assume people must be busy or they just don't know when to get me. I know everyone isn't busy because I know people still keep in touch with my roommate. If it was the second, you'd think people would shoot a text to see when I'm free. I can only assume the worst that I have done something or said something to upset some one. This has been the loneliest year of my life. I text people and get no response. I try to reach out on Facebook and get ignored. I know you people and I know you wouldn't purposefully hurt someone but right now I am hurting so bad. I am so alone and I know that moving to Indy is gonna help but that doesn't mean that people will start just talking to me again. A lot of us had grown apart but were getting close again and then it was like after Katsucon, I no longer existed. I could just be imagining thing but o feel like I need to get this out before I explode. I'm hurting and I'm lonely and I feel like I am missing something. Please, fill me in. Let me know what's going on. Let me know I am just being crazy because it would take away a lot of my stress right now.
Sorry of this post is a mess because I'm posting it from my phone at work.
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