(no subject)
i hate these times in my life.
i mean, they're not terrible, not be any sort of comparison.
i've never been any good at waiting though. and that's kind of what i'm doing. i know what i want. i want enough hours at Mitchell's to pay for my own rent, i want a good man to be mine and eventually i want to own my own store. but none of that is available at the moment.
it's not that i'm doing nothing. i'm looking for a second job that won't make me want to kill myself. hard to find. i'm totally fine with doing something like waitressing or some sort of retail, but no one is hiring. i'm still looking, but everything that's available is call centers, and i will do that when hell freezes over.
so i'm just.... waiting. i KNOW that once one of the women at Mitchell's finds a job in her field she will leave and i will get her hours. i HAVE a good man in my life but he isn't mine- i really hope that someday he will be, but who knows. i have to wait and see. and i know what i want from the future, but at this point i have no idea how and no means to get it.
so i'm drifting and waiting and trying to be chill and calm and zen. someday i know that it will happen. i just don't want that someday to be too late.
i mean, they're not terrible, not be any sort of comparison.
i've never been any good at waiting though. and that's kind of what i'm doing. i know what i want. i want enough hours at Mitchell's to pay for my own rent, i want a good man to be mine and eventually i want to own my own store. but none of that is available at the moment.
it's not that i'm doing nothing. i'm looking for a second job that won't make me want to kill myself. hard to find. i'm totally fine with doing something like waitressing or some sort of retail, but no one is hiring. i'm still looking, but everything that's available is call centers, and i will do that when hell freezes over.
so i'm just.... waiting. i KNOW that once one of the women at Mitchell's finds a job in her field she will leave and i will get her hours. i HAVE a good man in my life but he isn't mine- i really hope that someday he will be, but who knows. i have to wait and see. and i know what i want from the future, but at this point i have no idea how and no means to get it.
so i'm drifting and waiting and trying to be chill and calm and zen. someday i know that it will happen. i just don't want that someday to be too late.