Princess Tutu, "Promises," Slayers/Tutu Crossover, PG
This is what happens when a girl who couldn't care less about weddings has to plan her own.
Promises
by Mistress Quickly
For Abi, Matt, Emily, and above all, David.
~*~*~*~
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Gourry Gabriev and Lina Inverse.”
Lina shot Gourry a wicked smile. “I am so not taking your last name. Still can’t spell it, let alone pronounce it.”
“Lina~,” Gourry whispered back. “We’ve been over this. You said you’d use my name.”
“Meh. Changed my mind.”
Gourry opened his mouth to argue, but the sound of the officiator clearing his throat cut off any comeback the blonde might have been formulating.
“Sorry,” he whispered, ducking his head.
The officiator growled at him. “If you are not quiet, you will have to MARRY ME!”
Gourry scrunched his face. “But I’m marrying Lina. And you’re a guy.” He thought about it for a moment, then added: “And I’m straight!”
“You argue with me?” Neko-sensei said, his voice deadly soft. “Does this mean ...?”
“Not a chance,” spat Lina, gripping Gourry’s arm tightly enough to cut off any circulation he had left under the decorative armor he wore. “I’ll Dragon Slave your ass before I’ll let you touch my Gourry.”
“How romantic,” said Zelgadis from his place as best man, watching Lina’s attendants titter beside the snarling bride.
“Ooh, Lina-san loves battles too!” the blonde attendant squealed, the pink bows in her curls bouncing in her excited little dance. The redheaded attendant beside her glared and smacked her across the back of the head.
“Shut up, Lillie.”
“That wasn’t just, Pique,” complained the third attendant.
“Shut up, Amelia.”
“All of you be quiet,” growled Neko-sensei, “or you will all have to MARRY ME!”
“I don’t think polygamy’s permitted in Kinkan Town,” Fakir murmured to Mute, who chuckled.
“You’re the writer,” the pale prince whispered back. “That could be changed, if you wanted it to be.”
Neko-sensei was, by this point, having a bit of a conniption, madly scratching his ear with some difficulty, his officiators’ robes bunching around the joint of his leg. The wedding party quieted and waited for him to calm down and continue.
Smoothing his whiskers, he took a deep breath and read the vows:
“Gourry, do you take Lina to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, remain faithful to her until you are parted in death? Answer ‘I do,’ or you will have to marry me.”
Gourry blinked. “I do,” he said, then looking down at Lina, added, “I would’a said that anyway.”
“Hmph,” said Lina.
Neko-sensei twitched, irritatedly.
“Lina, do you take Gourry to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, remain faithful to him until you are parted in death? Answer ‘I do,’ or you will have to marry me.”
“I don’t have to marry anyone unless I want to, but yeah, I’ll be Gourry’s wife and all that other stuff, too,” Lina growled. Gourry beamed at her; Neko-sensei looked peeved.
“Then bring forth the rings,” he hissed.
Gourry and Lina parted to make room for the little yellow duck, who had been napping peacefully in Fakir’s arms, to waddle excitedly up the aisle to Neko-sensei, two plain gold rings fastened around her neck on a red ribbon. Neko-sensei gasped, a look of pure bliss on his face.
“Ahiru,” he breathed, “have you finally come to me to accept my proposal of marriage?”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake ...” said Lina.
“Qua~?” said the duck.
“Just take the rings,” said Fakir, stepping forward and slipping the ribbon from her neck before gathering her back into his arms, tossing the rings to Neko-sensei. Returning to his place between Zelgadis and Mute, he smiled and shook his head at the sound of Neko-sensei’s hissing.
“Please repeat after me, Gourry,” Neko-sensei sniffed, tearing his eyes away from the little duck snuggled contentedly in the crook of Fakir’s arm. “Lina Inverse ...”
“Lina Inverse.”
“... with this ring ...”
“With this ring.”
“... I thee wed.”
“I thee wed.”
With a little trouble and an adorable blush, Gourry tried to slip the ring onto Lina’s middle finger. She sighed and helped him, moving it to the proper finger and letting him push it on. Gourry beamed at her.
“Now Lina, please repeat after me,” Neko-sensei continued, lazily bathing his paw. “Gourry Gabriev ...”
“Gourry Gabri- ... Gabrie- ... fuck it. Gourry.”
“... with this ring ...”
“With this ring.”
“... I thee wed.”
“I thee wed.”
She hesitated, fingering the shiny gold band and giving Gourry a wicked look; a treasure-hunter’s look. He rolled his eyes and held out his hand.
“Put the ring on my finger and I’ll let you play with my sword later.”
Fakir burst out laughing; Mute giggled behind his hand; Zelgadis doubled over, desperately trying to cover his mirth with a coughing fit, which he did remarkably well. Neko-sensei found a paper bag and destroyed it, knocking over a few potted plants and statues in the process, but looking much calmer when he emerged, albeit a tad ruffled. Lina rolled her eyes and put the ring on Gourry’s finger, muttering something about immature men, idiotic virgin blondes, and a Dragon Slave in the future of all present.
Neko-sensei cleared his throat and glared at the groom’s attendants until they got their laughter under control, Fakir biting his lip to hide his smile as he stroked Ahiru, her feathers ruffled from his convulsive laughing fit.
“Gourry and Lina, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride, and if you do not, then you will-”
“Have to marry you, yeah, we got that,” Lina snapped. She grabbed a handful of Gourry’s hair and tugged him down to her level. “Now kiss me, you idiot, before I have to marry somebody else!”
Gourry began protesting the idea of Lina marrying anyone but him, especially after the trouble they’d gone through to get married in the first place, but found it difficult to talk around her tongue, and so gave up, kissing her back, and eventually wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up, kissing her while spinning her around.
Pique handed Lillie a tissue; Amelia nodded and made a comment about passion between spouses being just and fair and, really, very hot.
In the corner, a smiling emperor penguin began playing music, the cue for the happy couple to leave the chapel. Under the cheers and applause of all assembled, Gourry and Lina joined hands and ran down the aisle and out of the church, well on their way to a happily ever after.
The end.
Promises
by Mistress Quickly
For Abi, Matt, Emily, and above all, David.
~*~*~*~
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Gourry Gabriev and Lina Inverse.”
Lina shot Gourry a wicked smile. “I am so not taking your last name. Still can’t spell it, let alone pronounce it.”
“Lina~,” Gourry whispered back. “We’ve been over this. You said you’d use my name.”
“Meh. Changed my mind.”
Gourry opened his mouth to argue, but the sound of the officiator clearing his throat cut off any comeback the blonde might have been formulating.
“Sorry,” he whispered, ducking his head.
The officiator growled at him. “If you are not quiet, you will have to MARRY ME!”
Gourry scrunched his face. “But I’m marrying Lina. And you’re a guy.” He thought about it for a moment, then added: “And I’m straight!”
“You argue with me?” Neko-sensei said, his voice deadly soft. “Does this mean ...?”
“Not a chance,” spat Lina, gripping Gourry’s arm tightly enough to cut off any circulation he had left under the decorative armor he wore. “I’ll Dragon Slave your ass before I’ll let you touch my Gourry.”
“How romantic,” said Zelgadis from his place as best man, watching Lina’s attendants titter beside the snarling bride.
“Ooh, Lina-san loves battles too!” the blonde attendant squealed, the pink bows in her curls bouncing in her excited little dance. The redheaded attendant beside her glared and smacked her across the back of the head.
“Shut up, Lillie.”
“That wasn’t just, Pique,” complained the third attendant.
“Shut up, Amelia.”
“All of you be quiet,” growled Neko-sensei, “or you will all have to MARRY ME!”
“I don’t think polygamy’s permitted in Kinkan Town,” Fakir murmured to Mute, who chuckled.
“You’re the writer,” the pale prince whispered back. “That could be changed, if you wanted it to be.”
Neko-sensei was, by this point, having a bit of a conniption, madly scratching his ear with some difficulty, his officiators’ robes bunching around the joint of his leg. The wedding party quieted and waited for him to calm down and continue.
Smoothing his whiskers, he took a deep breath and read the vows:
“Gourry, do you take Lina to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, remain faithful to her until you are parted in death? Answer ‘I do,’ or you will have to marry me.”
Gourry blinked. “I do,” he said, then looking down at Lina, added, “I would’a said that anyway.”
“Hmph,” said Lina.
Neko-sensei twitched, irritatedly.
“Lina, do you take Gourry to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, remain faithful to him until you are parted in death? Answer ‘I do,’ or you will have to marry me.”
“I don’t have to marry anyone unless I want to, but yeah, I’ll be Gourry’s wife and all that other stuff, too,” Lina growled. Gourry beamed at her; Neko-sensei looked peeved.
“Then bring forth the rings,” he hissed.
Gourry and Lina parted to make room for the little yellow duck, who had been napping peacefully in Fakir’s arms, to waddle excitedly up the aisle to Neko-sensei, two plain gold rings fastened around her neck on a red ribbon. Neko-sensei gasped, a look of pure bliss on his face.
“Ahiru,” he breathed, “have you finally come to me to accept my proposal of marriage?”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake ...” said Lina.
“Qua~?” said the duck.
“Just take the rings,” said Fakir, stepping forward and slipping the ribbon from her neck before gathering her back into his arms, tossing the rings to Neko-sensei. Returning to his place between Zelgadis and Mute, he smiled and shook his head at the sound of Neko-sensei’s hissing.
“Please repeat after me, Gourry,” Neko-sensei sniffed, tearing his eyes away from the little duck snuggled contentedly in the crook of Fakir’s arm. “Lina Inverse ...”
“Lina Inverse.”
“... with this ring ...”
“With this ring.”
“... I thee wed.”
“I thee wed.”
With a little trouble and an adorable blush, Gourry tried to slip the ring onto Lina’s middle finger. She sighed and helped him, moving it to the proper finger and letting him push it on. Gourry beamed at her.
“Now Lina, please repeat after me,” Neko-sensei continued, lazily bathing his paw. “Gourry Gabriev ...”
“Gourry Gabri- ... Gabrie- ... fuck it. Gourry.”
“... with this ring ...”
“With this ring.”
“... I thee wed.”
“I thee wed.”
She hesitated, fingering the shiny gold band and giving Gourry a wicked look; a treasure-hunter’s look. He rolled his eyes and held out his hand.
“Put the ring on my finger and I’ll let you play with my sword later.”
Fakir burst out laughing; Mute giggled behind his hand; Zelgadis doubled over, desperately trying to cover his mirth with a coughing fit, which he did remarkably well. Neko-sensei found a paper bag and destroyed it, knocking over a few potted plants and statues in the process, but looking much calmer when he emerged, albeit a tad ruffled. Lina rolled her eyes and put the ring on Gourry’s finger, muttering something about immature men, idiotic virgin blondes, and a Dragon Slave in the future of all present.
Neko-sensei cleared his throat and glared at the groom’s attendants until they got their laughter under control, Fakir biting his lip to hide his smile as he stroked Ahiru, her feathers ruffled from his convulsive laughing fit.
“Gourry and Lina, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride, and if you do not, then you will-”
“Have to marry you, yeah, we got that,” Lina snapped. She grabbed a handful of Gourry’s hair and tugged him down to her level. “Now kiss me, you idiot, before I have to marry somebody else!”
Gourry began protesting the idea of Lina marrying anyone but him, especially after the trouble they’d gone through to get married in the first place, but found it difficult to talk around her tongue, and so gave up, kissing her back, and eventually wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up, kissing her while spinning her around.
Pique handed Lillie a tissue; Amelia nodded and made a comment about passion between spouses being just and fair and, really, very hot.
In the corner, a smiling emperor penguin began playing music, the cue for the happy couple to leave the chapel. Under the cheers and applause of all assembled, Gourry and Lina joined hands and ran down the aisle and out of the church, well on their way to a happily ever after.
The end.