FMA AU, "Rip-Tide," Danny/Al, R

[mistr3ssquickly]

A story to go along with a drawing I submitted to Octopus/Squid Men Galore on y!gallery. You can see the drawing here (y!gal) or here (dA). The art is worksafe and brainsafe (mostly), but be warned, the fic is dark, disturbing, and beyond that it's AU and it's depressing.

Blame my boss and my boss's boss. They made me morbid.

Comments

[goldphish_bowl]

M-meef...poor dannykun...god...that tore me up a bit, it did. I...I think I'm going to need a hug...

good fic, unhappy tummy. ;_; <3

[mistr3ssquickly]

*massive hugs* Dun worry, Danny's not dead! I swear! He's a little confused, but other than that, he's fine. ^_~

♥hugs♥ Fluff next, honest!

~m

[crystal_lilly]

Wow... that's sad. It's so smooth and flowing and the emotions are shockingly there, but it's sad. I actually almost felt like I was drowing underneath the power of your words. Fabulous writing. Especially since there really aren't that many words.

And even though I hate to poke and prod (especially when I've been so scarce lately) I seem to recall challenging you to do something with Al and Danny and a bubble bath a long time ago. Remember? When we were chatting (probably a month ago now). *puppy eyes* Did you ever agree to that challenge?

[mistr3ssquickly]

I don't know what's up with all this deathfic recently. Stupid real life making me angst. But! I'm glad you liked this, sad though it may be. It's good to know that the horror of it came through ... drowning is something I've always been very frightened by.

Thanks for reading, hon! ♥

~m

PS
I'm working on the bubblebath fic right now! I'd put it aside awhile ago and totally forgotten about it ... thanks for reminding me! ♥

Nice

[maddie_hatzer]

This is FuzzySocks from Y! Gallery checking out the fic you wrote with the picture.

Technically:

You have a very good way with words, it flows together, and you didn't overexaggerate details, your grammar was spot on with your writing, and it flowed together without any awkward breaks or became stunted at any point.

The Story itself:

SOOO SADD!!! ;_; This story made my heart ache a little... it was simple but poignant... I loovee itt!

You have a wonderful writing style, that really sets a tone of sentimentality.

Questions: Are you going to submit the fic or just the drawing?

Re: Nice

[maddie_hatzer]

N/m I would assume mostly just the drawing since the focus is Octo-men... but this fic does help the picture along XD

Re: Nice

[mistr3ssquickly]

Yeah, the fic's just to explain the pic a bit better. I thought about posting it to y!gallery, but figured it'd be just as good to post it here, since it's not for the contest. ^_^

~m

Re: Nice

[mistr3ssquickly]

O.O! I'm so glad you liked this, hon! I'm much more a writer than I am an artist (obviously) so it means quite a lot to me that you enjoyed this ficbit.

I know it's sad! I'm sorry! Al!muse and Danny!muse are both furious with me for it, but but but! I'm so glad you liked it, and the style of it. Thank you so much for reading it and leaving such thoughtful feedback. I appreciate it so very much. ♥

~m

[sailormac]

This story is actually very frightening, because it shows a fatal disaster coming in a banal, everyday situation -- one minute, Danny is being teased by the children and the next, he’s facing his own death. And the way it’s described is very much like how I’d envision something like that happening. I live near the shore, and we have people die in rip currents all the time, so I hear about stuff like this all the time.

It becomes more powerful combined with the picture, when he envisions an octopus!Al as he’s dying, like the last thing he ever wanted to see was his lover.

Oh, and I like how you got in the theme with his homophobic family again, with his aunt reacting to him checking out guys. Much as I’d like to kill his homophobic family.

[mistr3ssquickly]

Those "children" are evil teenagers, and I hope they feel guilty for making Danny get in the water. Little bastards.

/Al's commentary

Riptides scare the absolute life out of me. I can't imagine not being able to get to shore, knowing that I was going to drown ... ugh. *shudders* I like your interpretation of Alctopus, that Danny is comforted by dying in his lovers tentacles arms. That hadn't occurred to me.

Thanks for reading, hon! Feel free to kill off Danny's family, any chance you get to do so. XD

~m

[nomdeplume13]

Wow. I was so surprised you killed Danny. It was very realistic that something this startling would happen in the middle of a perfectly common day.
Though, I hope that Danny will be wonderfully resurrected for later stories.
Or is this your way of punishing Al for being a lazy muse?

[mistr3ssquickly]

My muses were pretty shocked and horrified that I killed him, too. I kinda thought he'd be the one muse I'd never hurt, but apparently ...

I'm glad you thought this was realistic, dear. Yes, Danny will be back--is back, actually--for plenty more stories. This is the only one in this universe. I hope, at least. >>;;

Al swears he'll never be lazy again. XD

Thanks for reading! ♥

~m