First entry
For some reason, LJ decided to jump the title to the main body of text.....weird LJ.....
Anyways, welcome to my THIRD Livejournal *Trumpets sound* It's almost a relief to see that i have no friends on this one though that should make me feel lonely and shit-not that i don't welcome friends at all, just not ones that i know in real-life (I'll explain why in a minute)
First entry would usually call for a quiz of some kind, but i can't be bothered frankly! Plus i have to go to my 9am lecture in about half an hour so i don't really have much time to waste.
Oh, and i'm not emo. I have nothing against emo's i just want to clarify that i liked the layout cos it was eerily cute (I don't like being called something i'm not basically).
Sooooo.....why am i being antisocial on lj........well to start i am a rather odd fish. I enjoy, nay, NEED the company of others and can get very lonely at times. However, i am also quite a private person, and despite making many close friends other the years, there is only one i feel comfortable turning to in a jam or when feeling quite depressed. This guy incidently is my boyfriend, only justified by the fact that we are insanely close and i for one certainly count as my best friend and partner in crime (So i get comforting sex afterwards which is great).
To a lot of people it might seem odd that i'm only turning to one person, but there is a reason for my anti-social behaviour, a couple actually.
My friends tend to make me feel somewhat pressured, either because they expect me to behave in a certain way or because they view me as being their permanent pillar of strength. Usually i'm quite happy to be there for my friends, and i have been called too selfless in the past HOWEVER sometimes, i get down too, i get hurt or feel so lonely and stressed and i need help.
The bad thing about this is that i don't think my friends know how to react. they tend to either give me generic advice (If it's a bloke they say 'Forget about him/kick him in the balls' if it's about uni stress the advice is 'Keep your chin up' which is a bit too vague to be comforting) or change the subject back to how miserable THEY feel and how they need me to comfort them. One thing that you neither considor appreciating, is the concept of having friends that let you be selfish every now and then.
Hope this made sense! Sorry if it didn't, i'm NOT a morning person.
Oops i'm late for my lecture.....off i go!
J