I suck at LIFE
This is becoming a catchphrase. Hm.
Today was Tom's work xmas thingy meal, making it the fourth day in a row where we've spent time together-without being just the two of us for longer than 20 minutes. I know this sounds obsessive, but it really sticks out after a while, how long we've actually interacted one on one (and i don't just mean that dirty fools) And know this probably sounds creepy, and way too dependent or something but its suddenly struck how long ago our last date was (October). It's like the difference between seeing your family all together, and going shopping with your mum. Only less incest and creepy-ew.
So, to spend quality time together, i decided to go into town with him for a few drinks beforehand. Afer about 45mins, we got into an arguement about how i decided not to bother decorating and spending my money on it, seeing as i'm the only one that actually cares or appreciates it. Tom then snapped that he'd never asked me to spend time and money decorating, to which i stormed off into John Lewis. I don't know why the argument happened. It doesn't help that we're both feeling a bit shitty and that Mondays for me always SUCK. I mean majorly and dramatically SUCK. To contrast with awesome-Fridays i suppose. I guess i was feeling a bit panicky about money (I know i flash my cash, but with both a boyfriend and a sister with a birthday in December i'm freaking out slightly) I also felt a bit put down by the significant lack of enthusiasm for xmas so i didn't see the point in doing anything. I should've apologised for flying of the handle, but i was a bitch and just walked off, knowing full well Tom wasn't chasing after me. I went to Pier and i (only just) caught a bus straight home...where i called Tom to apologise and explain that i didn't have my mobile so i had no hope of finding him again-hence goign home. I rang just as Tom was about to send a message to me apologising and explaining that he waited five minutes before he realised he was being unreasonable and in those five minutes he lost me-He searched John Lewis and Pier for ages before i called him-he knows me too well that boy. To finish up, we both apologised were fairly miserable at each other on the phone and agred to watch Harry Potter Order of Phoenix when he gets home. I still feel sucky....like full of suckness. I suck at being a girlfriend, hence me being depressingly single for so long before i met him.
I should be doing work i really should. I've started watching Swing Time, which is an Astaire and Rogers film i absolutely love-namely cos the standoffishness of Rogers to Astaire's Smarmy charm reminds me of me and Tom :) I currently attempting to finish so that i can write a page explaining the intregation process and how this affects the aggregation of the musical in general (yeah yeah i watch DvDs and study musicals as part of my course...it reminds me of this webcomic where one of the characters had to beat Pacman to pass his 'Visual entertainment studies'....'Film and theatre's hard work i swear, so shudup)
I'm also drinking full sugar Pepsi.....which i can actually feel destroying me on the inside. Oh woe for lack of diet or willpower :(
I SUCK AT LIFE!!!!!
(Don't worry, it'll all be okay when it hits Tuesday)
J