Rant....
Why do i only post when i'm vagually pissed off?
Neh...
My family is suffocating me. Sorry but it's true.
I can do what i like so long as it fits in with their schedule. My Mum is becoming increasingly more negative as well, always focussing on the bad stuff that happens, i mean like we were walking the dogs up our street and she says "I bet our garage is the oldest one here". Question: Who the fuck cares?! It works, it's functional and it's still standing, plus it was painted only what, 3 years ago? I'm pretty sure in the height of his Nazi-Paranoia Hitler never went "Ve must find und kill all those who own old Garages!!! They are the true traitors of the mutterlandt!!!!" It's not just that (cos i've just realised that it looks like i'm really over-exaggerating with just that one example) anything anyone does at all gets scrutinised. If it's done well-no comment. If you make a mistake it gets pointed out, repeated, lectured about and then brought up again weeks later for no reason whatsoever. If i use an electric shaver mums first response is "Thats mine isn't it?!" When it's my own that i've used for years. If the living room door gets left open by someone, I'M the one that gets summoned and then told off. Even when i say it wasn't me she still tells me off and gives me a lecture about how bad it is cos the dogs will get in and leave hairs all over the place. For the 5th BILLIONTH time.
Anything i do do, gets over-sghadowed by anything i DON'T do so yeah, focus on how my room's a mess but forget that i haven't been tidying it because i was working out and then doing some gardening FOR YOU. I know its the same with every family but the hypocrisy between me and my sister is EMMENSE. Katie is 17 and autistic, ok so being autistic makes her bad at talking to people and understanding but it is sheer laziness that prompts her to do bugger all, all day. She's not paralysed, she knows how to do it, she's done it before but for some reason i'm expected to do stuff all day and be useful whilst she's allowed to not do a thing. She has ONE job and that is to hoover the living room, hall and back room. I have seen her do it ONCE in the month and a half i have been here. No one cares. On top of that she's getting pretty hefty now. I know i'm not one to talk but i get tutted at and 'Oooooooo'-ed if i eat non-stop (which i don't anymore) but it's okay for Katie to do cos "It's one of the few pleasures she gets from life" Yeah? I love food just as much, but i know that being fat makes you LESS able to enjoy life. She's sacrificing self-esteem and all other pleasures for the sake of one. She's almost obese for Gods sake she needs help and control or she's going to end up in an early grave. I realised that, now she has to as well, for her own good.
One last moan: Mum uses Depression as a weapon. I'm not allowed to watch tacky tv (They make out like i watch it all day, i watch Jeremy Kyle before the gym every morning and that's it) or Scrubs because mum says it depresses her. I''m also not allowed to suffer from depression myself because THAT makes mum depressed. there's even been a time when i was really down and in floods of tears and i was told to go to my room because the sight of me was making mum down.
I want to go home.
J
Neh...
My family is suffocating me. Sorry but it's true.
I can do what i like so long as it fits in with their schedule. My Mum is becoming increasingly more negative as well, always focussing on the bad stuff that happens, i mean like we were walking the dogs up our street and she says "I bet our garage is the oldest one here". Question: Who the fuck cares?! It works, it's functional and it's still standing, plus it was painted only what, 3 years ago? I'm pretty sure in the height of his Nazi-Paranoia Hitler never went "Ve must find und kill all those who own old Garages!!! They are the true traitors of the mutterlandt!!!!" It's not just that (cos i've just realised that it looks like i'm really over-exaggerating with just that one example) anything anyone does at all gets scrutinised. If it's done well-no comment. If you make a mistake it gets pointed out, repeated, lectured about and then brought up again weeks later for no reason whatsoever. If i use an electric shaver mums first response is "Thats mine isn't it?!" When it's my own that i've used for years. If the living room door gets left open by someone, I'M the one that gets summoned and then told off. Even when i say it wasn't me she still tells me off and gives me a lecture about how bad it is cos the dogs will get in and leave hairs all over the place. For the 5th BILLIONTH time.
Anything i do do, gets over-sghadowed by anything i DON'T do so yeah, focus on how my room's a mess but forget that i haven't been tidying it because i was working out and then doing some gardening FOR YOU. I know its the same with every family but the hypocrisy between me and my sister is EMMENSE. Katie is 17 and autistic, ok so being autistic makes her bad at talking to people and understanding but it is sheer laziness that prompts her to do bugger all, all day. She's not paralysed, she knows how to do it, she's done it before but for some reason i'm expected to do stuff all day and be useful whilst she's allowed to not do a thing. She has ONE job and that is to hoover the living room, hall and back room. I have seen her do it ONCE in the month and a half i have been here. No one cares. On top of that she's getting pretty hefty now. I know i'm not one to talk but i get tutted at and 'Oooooooo'-ed if i eat non-stop (which i don't anymore) but it's okay for Katie to do cos "It's one of the few pleasures she gets from life" Yeah? I love food just as much, but i know that being fat makes you LESS able to enjoy life. She's sacrificing self-esteem and all other pleasures for the sake of one. She's almost obese for Gods sake she needs help and control or she's going to end up in an early grave. I realised that, now she has to as well, for her own good.
One last moan: Mum uses Depression as a weapon. I'm not allowed to watch tacky tv (They make out like i watch it all day, i watch Jeremy Kyle before the gym every morning and that's it) or Scrubs because mum says it depresses her. I''m also not allowed to suffer from depression myself because THAT makes mum depressed. there's even been a time when i was really down and in floods of tears and i was told to go to my room because the sight of me was making mum down.
I want to go home.
J