L'Shana Tovah
Happy jew year everybody. I'm in the studio attempting to blow up these actual medical illustrations so I can trace over them, transfer them, and add my personality to them, which I believe will be less nerve-wracking than attempting to interpret the muscles by myself.
Cheating? probably. But then again, don't all people elarn how to draw by tracing? I know my sister did.
And it's better than going insane. again. I don't want to go insane. I just want to do my work on time.
So yeah. I didn't mention in my last horribly self-effacing entry that pat came to visit. I was very happy. Am very happy.
It's no stretch to say that I am pulling out my hair
And darling, I'm patiently waiting
To fly my ass out there
and I
Love you.
Fly my ass by andrew jackson jihad. It's been stuck in my head for some time now.
Oh, right, the stimulants are making my brain go all loopyshit.
So last week, on tuesday I experienced the most severe panic attack I have ever had. I thought I was dying, my heart was beating irrythmically, i couldn't breathe, I was throwing up, my head split open. I was thinking about calling the hospital but I called pat instead. He talked me down from that one but the experience drilled my fear of drawing deep into my brain. I am now conditioned. Every time I try to draw I freak out. Association, as it were. I talked to amanda about it and she told me to go to therapy, and to take the rest of the day off.
I did, and I talked to the woman about my anxiety issues. She doesn't really get it, that it's only that one thing, the act of drawing, which sends me into fight-or-flight. I'm sure it's a snowball, every time I have another panic attack because of drawing, it becomes more and more of a trigger for one.
I'm starting to feel it now, creeping into my heart, into my brain.
I miss the simplicity of the summer. I miss pat. I miss my family. I miss not being in a constant state of agitation.
I suppose that's all for now.
Cheating? probably. But then again, don't all people elarn how to draw by tracing? I know my sister did.
And it's better than going insane. again. I don't want to go insane. I just want to do my work on time.
So yeah. I didn't mention in my last horribly self-effacing entry that pat came to visit. I was very happy. Am very happy.
It's no stretch to say that I am pulling out my hair
And darling, I'm patiently waiting
To fly my ass out there
and I
Love you.
Fly my ass by andrew jackson jihad. It's been stuck in my head for some time now.
Oh, right, the stimulants are making my brain go all loopyshit.
So last week, on tuesday I experienced the most severe panic attack I have ever had. I thought I was dying, my heart was beating irrythmically, i couldn't breathe, I was throwing up, my head split open. I was thinking about calling the hospital but I called pat instead. He talked me down from that one but the experience drilled my fear of drawing deep into my brain. I am now conditioned. Every time I try to draw I freak out. Association, as it were. I talked to amanda about it and she told me to go to therapy, and to take the rest of the day off.
I did, and I talked to the woman about my anxiety issues. She doesn't really get it, that it's only that one thing, the act of drawing, which sends me into fight-or-flight. I'm sure it's a snowball, every time I have another panic attack because of drawing, it becomes more and more of a trigger for one.
I'm starting to feel it now, creeping into my heart, into my brain.
I miss the simplicity of the summer. I miss pat. I miss my family. I miss not being in a constant state of agitation.
I suppose that's all for now.