thoughs...
Sometimes life just isn't fair, me thinks.
I knew when John and I got got together that he was unable to have any more children. I wasn't perfectly fine with that, I will admit, but I was willing to sacrifice it because of how much I love John.
After having been in such a bad relationship with Ray(Ex-fiance) for so long, I knew something wonderful when I found it. And I had found something beyond wonderful with John. So with that in mind, I was willing to give up the children that I had always envisioned in my head. The dream that I had always had.
And for a while I was content with "stealing" friends babies, and being the god mother and the favorite aunt, but there were always those times that I still craved having a baby of my very own. I longed to feel the flutters deep in my stomach, and even the morning sickness.
But again, I get over those feelings after a while. I get a little mopey, and depressed, and occasionally fight with John, because part of me thinks that a decision that he made with his ex-wife shouldn't affect me this way, but it does, and I eventually accept it...
But today is a hard day. An especially hard day. One of my friends is pregnant and happy, but wasn't trying to get that way...
Another woman I know who got married just 3 months before me now has a 1 year old son(from work)
And the man who got married 1 month before me just found out today that his wife is pregnant(again from work)
It's hard today cause we were all planning our weddings at the same time, and shared that getting married bond, and now they are having kids and I'm not.
Not that I begrudge them any happiness. I'm very happy for them all... I just get sad sometimes and I need to get it out...
This seemed like the best place to do it
I knew when John and I got got together that he was unable to have any more children. I wasn't perfectly fine with that, I will admit, but I was willing to sacrifice it because of how much I love John.
After having been in such a bad relationship with Ray(Ex-fiance) for so long, I knew something wonderful when I found it. And I had found something beyond wonderful with John. So with that in mind, I was willing to give up the children that I had always envisioned in my head. The dream that I had always had.
And for a while I was content with "stealing" friends babies, and being the god mother and the favorite aunt, but there were always those times that I still craved having a baby of my very own. I longed to feel the flutters deep in my stomach, and even the morning sickness.
But again, I get over those feelings after a while. I get a little mopey, and depressed, and occasionally fight with John, because part of me thinks that a decision that he made with his ex-wife shouldn't affect me this way, but it does, and I eventually accept it...
But today is a hard day. An especially hard day. One of my friends is pregnant and happy, but wasn't trying to get that way...
Another woman I know who got married just 3 months before me now has a 1 year old son(from work)
And the man who got married 1 month before me just found out today that his wife is pregnant(again from work)
It's hard today cause we were all planning our weddings at the same time, and shared that getting married bond, and now they are having kids and I'm not.
Not that I begrudge them any happiness. I'm very happy for them all... I just get sad sometimes and I need to get it out...
This seemed like the best place to do it