Sometimes...
..you realize there is something in the past you missed, something that no matter how badly you want it will simply never be again. It happened, maybe it even happened for years, but its gone and it will never exist again. I've come to realize that one of the things I really want, something I even somewhat had a chance to do when I was younger, simply will never exist again. There are still in some parts of the UK and less police state countries one could go, but without living there it's not possible to know in time....