Day 1 my first self-reflection in a while
These "self-reflections" will coincide with days that I do something positive and healthy. Hopefully they become habitual, and there will be plenty of them to come.
What am I truly apprehensive about anyways?
I think I have been procrastinating at life.
Not merely am I lacking effort in school, but I think I'm just trying to throw myself a curve ball for the sake of entertainment. A little, "Let's see you get out of this one Mr. Bond," moment if you will. In the end, I am most definitely my own worst enemy.
I need to focus on something. I need structure. I need to stay on top of things.
This has been a battle for god knows how long, but it ends soon. Maybe it ends now. I've known not to live my life by certainties and guarantees. I break promises to myself all of the time.
Why am I so freaking indecisive STILL!?!?!?!
Truth: I wish I could be leisurely. I wish I could just do a job, come home, relax, learn how to play the guitar. Read a book. Relax at the beach every once in a while. Plant a garden. Just do my thing. I'm sick of always feeling beholden to something or someone. It's like life is one monotonous task after the next, and then you sleep. My time management is poor. The end.
OK End that.
This is the part where I am Thankful.
I am thankful for the tiny bit of health and sanity that I am clinging to. After yesterdays health flare and today's mini-breakdown, I think I should definitely refocus my efforts on a healthy lifestyle FOR GOOD.
Anyways, hopefully these things will start looking more positive. :-)
Time to do work.
LW
What am I truly apprehensive about anyways?
I think I have been procrastinating at life.
Not merely am I lacking effort in school, but I think I'm just trying to throw myself a curve ball for the sake of entertainment. A little, "Let's see you get out of this one Mr. Bond," moment if you will. In the end, I am most definitely my own worst enemy.
I need to focus on something. I need structure. I need to stay on top of things.
This has been a battle for god knows how long, but it ends soon. Maybe it ends now. I've known not to live my life by certainties and guarantees. I break promises to myself all of the time.
Why am I so freaking indecisive STILL!?!?!?!
Truth: I wish I could be leisurely. I wish I could just do a job, come home, relax, learn how to play the guitar. Read a book. Relax at the beach every once in a while. Plant a garden. Just do my thing. I'm sick of always feeling beholden to something or someone. It's like life is one monotonous task after the next, and then you sleep. My time management is poor. The end.
OK End that.
This is the part where I am Thankful.
I am thankful for the tiny bit of health and sanity that I am clinging to. After yesterdays health flare and today's mini-breakdown, I think I should definitely refocus my efforts on a healthy lifestyle FOR GOOD.
Anyways, hopefully these things will start looking more positive. :-)
Time to do work.
LW