the end
I got famously drunk last night. Something to the tune of 8 or 9 Long Island Iced Teas. It was horrible. I came home and fell asleep. I forgot to turn on my alarm clock. I was late to work. 3 and a half hours late. My day was ruined. Not to mention the utterly horrible sensation of being stinking drunk at 12 noon is something that I can live without. Now here is the fun part.
I walk in the door and no sooner than my shoes are taken off, than the phone rings. It's Rachel. She needs to talk about a few things. Here is what I remember of her speech to me, keep in mind that I am not making this up.
"Your friends are all getting married, and I that has gotten me thinking about marriage and stuff. I've decided that I really do want to get married, and that I am not getting younger, and these things that are important to me that aren't so important to you, (owning a car, saving money for the future, and planning for something later than what's right in front of me) are important to me. So I don't think that we should see each other anymore. I think you are a great guy and I love you soo much, but we have different goals and I need to find someone who's goals are the same as mine"
Keep in mind she is calling me from the hospital where she works. She is breaking up with me on the phone, while she is on her break from work.
Classy.
I was really upset at first, but now I feel ok. I had been wrestling with the idea of breaking up with her for weeks now, but something always kept me with her.
I don't understand women. Rachel acts like things like a car and money aren't important to me. They are, but I know that right now, owning a car and all the bills that come with it isn't very economically viable for me right now. Do I like this? No. But I deal with it. That is all you can do right? I don't like being broke, but I believe in the buisiness that I work at/co-own. I think Rachel has a pretty greedy side and that is what that is. Hmmmph, never heard of a greedy jew.
I want these things, but I refuse to break my back to get them. I've never had rich parents to get me anything, to loan me money, or anything like that, I live on my own, and while I do barely get by at times, I am the one getting by. She is an RN but she still doesn't live within her means. I live within my means, and I am resonably happy.
I wish nothing but the best for her, but I doubt she'll find it. She won't let herself get comfortable with anyone. She won't allow it.
After all of that I did something weird. I called Kendra and Audrey. It wasn't to try to fuck them or anything, but I just needed to talk to women I have been involved with on a more than platonic level , and get thier perspective on things, like, is any of this my doing, is she crazy, or what the hell just happened exactly. Kendra offerd some very good perspective on things. She told me I should be alone, and that Rachel was crazy for bringing up the car and everything. She was of the opinion that that remark was purely to hurt my feelings. Audrey and I actually went and had a lovely dinner thing. She told me that one of my problems, at least to her, is that I don't really know who I am or what I am, and that maybe I need to find that out before I find someone else. That also made sense. I have felt like I was spinning my wheels as of late, and that maybe I should take some time to try to understand who I am and what I was put here on this earth to do.
Mindy also gave me the advice to not allow Rachel back into my life. She said that she does this a lot and that in three weeks she'll get lonely and come back around. I think she is right also. I can't let her back in.
I think I am going to be single for a while, to try to shake this apathy that has taken over my life. I need to. I can't feel this way forever. I still want to go out and hook up, but for now, I can't handle a relationship. I need to figure me out. They were all right, it is creepy.
Feel free to comment if you read this, so you can tell me what you think. But don't give me that "I'm sorry, you'll meet another girl" crap. I require no sympathy, and I don't need the ugly girl at prom pep talk.
I don't know what else to type to make this story riveting. I forgot to include the part in the story where I meet god and fight pirates, but noone would want to hear about that anyways.
I walk in the door and no sooner than my shoes are taken off, than the phone rings. It's Rachel. She needs to talk about a few things. Here is what I remember of her speech to me, keep in mind that I am not making this up.
"Your friends are all getting married, and I that has gotten me thinking about marriage and stuff. I've decided that I really do want to get married, and that I am not getting younger, and these things that are important to me that aren't so important to you, (owning a car, saving money for the future, and planning for something later than what's right in front of me) are important to me. So I don't think that we should see each other anymore. I think you are a great guy and I love you soo much, but we have different goals and I need to find someone who's goals are the same as mine"
Keep in mind she is calling me from the hospital where she works. She is breaking up with me on the phone, while she is on her break from work.
Classy.
I was really upset at first, but now I feel ok. I had been wrestling with the idea of breaking up with her for weeks now, but something always kept me with her.
I don't understand women. Rachel acts like things like a car and money aren't important to me. They are, but I know that right now, owning a car and all the bills that come with it isn't very economically viable for me right now. Do I like this? No. But I deal with it. That is all you can do right? I don't like being broke, but I believe in the buisiness that I work at/co-own. I think Rachel has a pretty greedy side and that is what that is. Hmmmph, never heard of a greedy jew.
I want these things, but I refuse to break my back to get them. I've never had rich parents to get me anything, to loan me money, or anything like that, I live on my own, and while I do barely get by at times, I am the one getting by. She is an RN but she still doesn't live within her means. I live within my means, and I am resonably happy.
I wish nothing but the best for her, but I doubt she'll find it. She won't let herself get comfortable with anyone. She won't allow it.
After all of that I did something weird. I called Kendra and Audrey. It wasn't to try to fuck them or anything, but I just needed to talk to women I have been involved with on a more than platonic level , and get thier perspective on things, like, is any of this my doing, is she crazy, or what the hell just happened exactly. Kendra offerd some very good perspective on things. She told me I should be alone, and that Rachel was crazy for bringing up the car and everything. She was of the opinion that that remark was purely to hurt my feelings. Audrey and I actually went and had a lovely dinner thing. She told me that one of my problems, at least to her, is that I don't really know who I am or what I am, and that maybe I need to find that out before I find someone else. That also made sense. I have felt like I was spinning my wheels as of late, and that maybe I should take some time to try to understand who I am and what I was put here on this earth to do.
Mindy also gave me the advice to not allow Rachel back into my life. She said that she does this a lot and that in three weeks she'll get lonely and come back around. I think she is right also. I can't let her back in.
I think I am going to be single for a while, to try to shake this apathy that has taken over my life. I need to. I can't feel this way forever. I still want to go out and hook up, but for now, I can't handle a relationship. I need to figure me out. They were all right, it is creepy.
Feel free to comment if you read this, so you can tell me what you think. But don't give me that "I'm sorry, you'll meet another girl" crap. I require no sympathy, and I don't need the ugly girl at prom pep talk.
I don't know what else to type to make this story riveting. I forgot to include the part in the story where I meet god and fight pirates, but noone would want to hear about that anyways.