(no subject)
life is a sick game that makes me wanna make up new words to describe it...it, damnit, arg, hmmm , well, i suppose im overwhelmed and undercooked, fuckin rain and drugs, ack, ok ok , i need to focus, because i realized today that i lost that about 2 years ago. I lost that and my will to learn, at least in a structured machine-like setting, teacher says , i write, memorize, teacher says, i write , i memorize, i forget, i get piece of paper that says im more smart then those who did not write, memorize , forget. i suppose in my confused state i decided to skip the first couple phases to being apart of the machine. I just forget
in fact the machine doesnt take kindly to lazy bastards who don't seem to care
It just seems so difficult to care for mechanical things (jimi!) these days,
I would be a horrible father, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, follower, librarian
im a drug infused pastry, an indecisive recluse, a dirty cigarette burn, rotten egg splatter, weak argument, deep sleep, distraction ... distraction
so to recap, School sucks because I lost the motivation, I lost the motivation because I lost myself somewhere between an empty bottle and a mushroom cap, not to say that bottles and caps are to blame, I never really had myself, i know stuff, i really do! I can make crab cakes and steal laughter from unsuspecting passerbys, I can, you'll see, I can write and write and write and skip , I am weird, odd, my mind scatters patterns and beats become increasly aparent, misses socially awkward moments,
so enough of the introspection and lame and the boring
but, really life, Ima little confused, a tad lost, need directions to the nearest vacant lot,
my head hurts
in fact the machine doesnt take kindly to lazy bastards who don't seem to care
It just seems so difficult to care for mechanical things (jimi!) these days,
I would be a horrible father, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, follower, librarian
im a drug infused pastry, an indecisive recluse, a dirty cigarette burn, rotten egg splatter, weak argument, deep sleep, distraction ... distraction
so to recap, School sucks because I lost the motivation, I lost the motivation because I lost myself somewhere between an empty bottle and a mushroom cap, not to say that bottles and caps are to blame, I never really had myself, i know stuff, i really do! I can make crab cakes and steal laughter from unsuspecting passerbys, I can, you'll see, I can write and write and write and skip , I am weird, odd, my mind scatters patterns and beats become increasly aparent, misses socially awkward moments,
so enough of the introspection and lame and the boring
but, really life, Ima little confused, a tad lost, need directions to the nearest vacant lot,
my head hurts