Za rejected and the happy pills.
My therapist has says something that bother me a lot.
She insinuate that the way that Manuel has interact with me was ok.
She insinuate that, myself, had blocked/rejected people because of fears.
I've been rejected a lot, in my life. A WHOLE LOT. And rejecting people is not something that I like/ don't care/ proud of.
I got the principle of not doing to others what I'm not liking others to do to me.
I never interact with anybody as Manuel has interact with me.
I kept some distance with some people but never fully closed a door.
She gives me the exemple of Sophie.
But we can say that people has different way of interacting.
So Manuel's reaction was ok? Normal? That's it?
So I stay being the rejected again? The freak?
All my thoughts goes in circle, since a while. Useless reflexion on death and After-life possibilities and what is wrong/ok in my principles/behaviors and if I'm a good person or a perfect looser. I even question my transition.
I have the strong feeling now that, having choose to do my transition, I've decided to be unloved and asexual for the rest of my life.
Maybe I'm a perfect looser.
My therapist want me to go see that psychiatrist again to re-evaluate the anti-depressant and to add a very tiny dose of... anti-psychotic.
No, I'm not schizophreniac but she said that my negative thoughts about myself is far away from reality and since it brings suicidal thoughts, we better get rid of those.
Well, pills or not, it won't change the fact that I'm physically handicapped, and considered as ugly by 99.999% of the population. Won't change the fact that transsexuals have more difficulties than anybody to find a love partner.
She insinuate that the way that Manuel has interact with me was ok.
She insinuate that, myself, had blocked/rejected people because of fears.
I've been rejected a lot, in my life. A WHOLE LOT. And rejecting people is not something that I like/ don't care/ proud of.
I got the principle of not doing to others what I'm not liking others to do to me.
I never interact with anybody as Manuel has interact with me.
I kept some distance with some people but never fully closed a door.
She gives me the exemple of Sophie.
But we can say that people has different way of interacting.
So Manuel's reaction was ok? Normal? That's it?
So I stay being the rejected again? The freak?
All my thoughts goes in circle, since a while. Useless reflexion on death and After-life possibilities and what is wrong/ok in my principles/behaviors and if I'm a good person or a perfect looser. I even question my transition.
I have the strong feeling now that, having choose to do my transition, I've decided to be unloved and asexual for the rest of my life.
Maybe I'm a perfect looser.
My therapist want me to go see that psychiatrist again to re-evaluate the anti-depressant and to add a very tiny dose of... anti-psychotic.
No, I'm not schizophreniac but she said that my negative thoughts about myself is far away from reality and since it brings suicidal thoughts, we better get rid of those.
Well, pills or not, it won't change the fact that I'm physically handicapped, and considered as ugly by 99.999% of the population. Won't change the fact that transsexuals have more difficulties than anybody to find a love partner.