Thank you for calling tech, you've reached tech support how can I help you?
Can you tell me what brand of modem you have and what light patterns are available with what is on off or blinking.
"you mean my internet box, yeah it's just blinking, been like that ever since I done lost power for about 2hrs"
Lets have you unplug that modem, just pull the small black cord from the back and we'll leave it unplugged for about a minute to let it refresh itself. If you have a router, pull the ethernet cable out of the WAN port and plug it directly into your computer.
"I ain't got know router, I got one of dem rooter interent configuration boxs for my computer and tv. What's a e-net cable, something on the back of this looks like telephone line on crank"
Yes ma'am/sir, your ROOTER, yes the cable that looks like it has a big telephone jack on both ends.
Alright while we are waiting on the modem to release any data it has been holding on to, I am going to check the signal we are sending you to see if it is out of spec.
"well I know it ain't nothing on my end, I'm a computer tech for the local church"
Ok, signal here looks good, lets give that modem about another 20 seconds before we plug it back in. While we wait, lets make sure that the usb cable is not plugged into the modem or leading to your computer.
"your signal can't be good, else why would my internet not be working."
Alright that should be long enough, I want you to go ahead and plug the modem power cord back in.
The modem should take about 15 secs to acquire signal, let me know what those lights are doing blinking, solid or off at the end of that time.
"yeah, all the lights are on, expect for send/recieve, there blinking, oh and e-net is blinking"
Ok it looks like the modem is recieving the signal it needs, lets have you try to open Internet Explorer, and have you try surfing to www.google.com.
"I'm telling you, it ain't showing anything"
Hmm page can not be displayed, ma'am sir if you could, lets go to the start button at the bottom left of your desktop, click on that, to the right of the pop up menu find RUN and in the run bar type in cmd.
"what the hell just happened, some ugly screen just came up it says MS-DOS, it gotta a c two periods on top of one another, and it says something about documents and settings with a bunch of slashes leaning to the right."
yes you will get a window come up, with a black background and plain white text,,, No I do not need to know about the C://Documents&settings/user/admin/person >
just type in ipconfig/all
can you locate where it says IP Address for Lan, ok could you tell me what that says.
"hold on, don't say I pee anywhere,.. oh wait, there it is."
169.254.xx.xx ok ma'am/sir if you could unscrew the coax cable from the back of the modem, yes the one that looks like a vcr cable. unplug the modem power cord and plug it back in in about 30 secs,.
Ok could you type in ipconfig/all again.
169.254.xx.xx
could you type in ipconfig/release
now type in ipconfig/renew
still 169.254.xx.xx
ma'am/sir what that is telling me is there is a problem with your NIC card.
No ma'am/sir we did not do this to your computer
No ma'am/sir I did not cause this to happen
There is one more thing we can try, we can uninstall the Network adaptor card and see if windows will automatically find it again, there is a chance depending on the card/computer that this will not work, at which time I can refer you to geek squad or the computer manufactur.
Ok it looks like I will have to you refer you.
No ma'am/sir, I did not destroy your computer
No ma'am/sir this is not a "cable company" issue
No ma'am/sir, No ma'am/sir , you will need to be referred to either of the two sources I have perviously said.
'continue on with bitching, cusing, threats, breakdowns, hostility for 20 minutes'
OK Ma'am/SIR I know how to fix this problem. I need you cd\ by that blinking cursor.
Ok ma'am/sir I know need you to type format c: yes this may take some time.
If you would like to call back after it has completed I can walk you through the next step of smashing your shitty computer with a baseball bat, and proper use of a hand gun in which to shoot yourself in the head I would be GLAD to help you.
we are here 24/7 for ALL your needs. Thank you and have a good day.
-Morale of this story, do not be stupid and own a computer, but especially do not be stupid own a computer and call in tech support and vent your useless frustrations of your own intelligence on tech support that is just there to try to help you fix or uncover your problem,. because 9/10 it is YOUR PROBLEM.
"you mean my internet box, yeah it's just blinking, been like that ever since I done lost power for about 2hrs"
Lets have you unplug that modem, just pull the small black cord from the back and we'll leave it unplugged for about a minute to let it refresh itself. If you have a router, pull the ethernet cable out of the WAN port and plug it directly into your computer.
"I ain't got know router, I got one of dem rooter interent configuration boxs for my computer and tv. What's a e-net cable, something on the back of this looks like telephone line on crank"
Yes ma'am/sir, your ROOTER, yes the cable that looks like it has a big telephone jack on both ends.
Alright while we are waiting on the modem to release any data it has been holding on to, I am going to check the signal we are sending you to see if it is out of spec.
"well I know it ain't nothing on my end, I'm a computer tech for the local church"
Ok, signal here looks good, lets give that modem about another 20 seconds before we plug it back in. While we wait, lets make sure that the usb cable is not plugged into the modem or leading to your computer.
"your signal can't be good, else why would my internet not be working."
Alright that should be long enough, I want you to go ahead and plug the modem power cord back in.
The modem should take about 15 secs to acquire signal, let me know what those lights are doing blinking, solid or off at the end of that time.
"yeah, all the lights are on, expect for send/recieve, there blinking, oh and e-net is blinking"
Ok it looks like the modem is recieving the signal it needs, lets have you try to open Internet Explorer, and have you try surfing to www.google.com.
"I'm telling you, it ain't showing anything"
Hmm page can not be displayed, ma'am sir if you could, lets go to the start button at the bottom left of your desktop, click on that, to the right of the pop up menu find RUN and in the run bar type in cmd.
"what the hell just happened, some ugly screen just came up it says MS-DOS, it gotta a c two periods on top of one another, and it says something about documents and settings with a bunch of slashes leaning to the right."
yes you will get a window come up, with a black background and plain white text,,, No I do not need to know about the C://Documents&settings/user/admin/person >
just type in ipconfig/all
can you locate where it says IP Address for Lan, ok could you tell me what that says.
"hold on, don't say I pee anywhere,.. oh wait, there it is."
169.254.xx.xx ok ma'am/sir if you could unscrew the coax cable from the back of the modem, yes the one that looks like a vcr cable. unplug the modem power cord and plug it back in in about 30 secs,.
Ok could you type in ipconfig/all again.
169.254.xx.xx
could you type in ipconfig/release
now type in ipconfig/renew
still 169.254.xx.xx
ma'am/sir what that is telling me is there is a problem with your NIC card.
No ma'am/sir we did not do this to your computer
No ma'am/sir I did not cause this to happen
There is one more thing we can try, we can uninstall the Network adaptor card and see if windows will automatically find it again, there is a chance depending on the card/computer that this will not work, at which time I can refer you to geek squad or the computer manufactur.
Ok it looks like I will have to you refer you.
No ma'am/sir, I did not destroy your computer
No ma'am/sir this is not a "cable company" issue
No ma'am/sir, No ma'am/sir , you will need to be referred to either of the two sources I have perviously said.
'continue on with bitching, cusing, threats, breakdowns, hostility for 20 minutes'
OK Ma'am/SIR I know how to fix this problem. I need you cd\ by that blinking cursor.
Ok ma'am/sir I know need you to type format c: yes this may take some time.
If you would like to call back after it has completed I can walk you through the next step of smashing your shitty computer with a baseball bat, and proper use of a hand gun in which to shoot yourself in the head I would be GLAD to help you.
we are here 24/7 for ALL your needs. Thank you and have a good day.
-Morale of this story, do not be stupid and own a computer, but especially do not be stupid own a computer and call in tech support and vent your useless frustrations of your own intelligence on tech support that is just there to try to help you fix or uncover your problem,. because 9/10 it is YOUR PROBLEM.