late night ramblings
So it's been a while since my last true post in here. I guess now that I'm not a jobless slacker anymore (employed slacker more like it), I just don't have the energy to post..
Anyway, I was just watching Chasing Amy on IFC. Anyone who knows me, knows that movies like that always lead me into introspective moods. I'm not gonna ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, but portions of Holden's relationship with Alyssa make me think of a certain friendship of mine. Friends of mine know who this is, and how i've been...infatuated with her for years. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't pursued (and failed) with other women, but I always seem to come back to her. Maybe because it's familiar, maybe because I know I don't have a shot (but delude myself into thinking I do)...or possibly it's a combination of those things intermingled with something obvious that I just don't want to admit. She and I had a mini fallout last year due to some crap that happened when I was down there visiting. Didn't talk to her for like 4-6 months after that. Of course, the lines of communication opened again and we've been talking. Ok so here's my problem. I'm getting to the point again where I'm gonna have a Holden-esque explosion of feelings (if you know the movie, you'll know the scene Im talking about). This hasn't been the healthiest relationship for me, but I'm caught between: "Do I kill the friendship and fantasy?" or "Do I keep repeating the pattern?". The smart and logical thing to do would be to do the former, but thats easier said than done when feelings are involved.
Ugh, ok enough of that. Onto other things. Been a couple of weeks since my screenwriting class ended. I'm gonna keep in contact with a few people, give and get critiques etc etc. Could be pretty helpful.
Oh and in being self-absorbed, i totally fucked up and didn't send someone an ecard for their 24th b-day. So if you're reading this Molly, sorry for not having been around lately. Hope you have a good birthday.
Anyway, I was just watching Chasing Amy on IFC. Anyone who knows me, knows that movies like that always lead me into introspective moods. I'm not gonna ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, but portions of Holden's relationship with Alyssa make me think of a certain friendship of mine. Friends of mine know who this is, and how i've been...infatuated with her for years. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't pursued (and failed) with other women, but I always seem to come back to her. Maybe because it's familiar, maybe because I know I don't have a shot (but delude myself into thinking I do)...or possibly it's a combination of those things intermingled with something obvious that I just don't want to admit. She and I had a mini fallout last year due to some crap that happened when I was down there visiting. Didn't talk to her for like 4-6 months after that. Of course, the lines of communication opened again and we've been talking. Ok so here's my problem. I'm getting to the point again where I'm gonna have a Holden-esque explosion of feelings (if you know the movie, you'll know the scene Im talking about). This hasn't been the healthiest relationship for me, but I'm caught between: "Do I kill the friendship and fantasy?" or "Do I keep repeating the pattern?". The smart and logical thing to do would be to do the former, but thats easier said than done when feelings are involved.
Ugh, ok enough of that. Onto other things. Been a couple of weeks since my screenwriting class ended. I'm gonna keep in contact with a few people, give and get critiques etc etc. Could be pretty helpful.
Oh and in being self-absorbed, i totally fucked up and didn't send someone an ecard for their 24th b-day. So if you're reading this Molly, sorry for not having been around lately. Hope you have a good birthday.