A Rant.
I have seen that people are almost puritanical when it comes to life. It started with me noticed their puritanical stance toward drugs. Most everyone, save those who inform themselves, has a bias for their drug of choice, and against all others. Alcohol users decry all illegal drugs, they obviously chose the right one, theirs is legal, right?
Pill users claim theirs is clean, and legal too. It must be clean if a doctor gives it to you, right? Harm free too, right?
Cannabis users, while incredibly safe and beneficial in many ways, something most drugs lack, think everything else is hard, there's a reason everything is illegal, right? I wasn't lied to about drugs, right?
People will rationalise any decision they make as a good one, because who wants to live with the thought of having made some mistakes, especially huge ones? Its a hard thing to put aside your filters, your interpretations, and see life for what it is, a series of moments. Its easy to change the moments you experience into the ones you want to, but lies are found out eventually, Truth is there, even when hidden by falsehood.
I thanked my father for instilling independence in me, and for letting me learn to make my own mistakes, or make my own triumphs. It took me a long time to learn it, but now I have better things to learn. I think for the first time in a long time he was proud of me. I know he values my honesty, I have told him of every drug I have done, and my thoughts on all of them, including drugs I have not done, including the infamous Heroin, a shockingly safe drug, if pure, something which I was very amazed to know is less toxic than Alcohol is. I knew it was (and later I found out still is) prescribed for an array of uses, some of which were legitimate, some of which were more of a placebo affect... it was the turn of the 20th century... But as I can only say so much about drugs, I have also discussed with him my views on society, especially money, and I feel I am an extension of the part of him that quit being a lawyer to become a teacher because he didn't want to "ruin people's lives for money." He took almost 50 years to find his passion, I have a head start, I hope I find mine before I live a half century. I know what I am passionate about, but I can only be so interested in music without creating it, so interested in computers with this thing called life, so interested in drugs if I can not create them and distribute them freely. I have found the traits I wish to seek in those I will surround myself with, but I have not found those who posses what I see as right.
One of the things high on my list of traits I can't stand is dishonesty. I was dishonest as a child, and it brought me nothing good. I see nothing good comes from dishonesty in others as well. To hold back your true feelings to others is to hold back true feelings from yourself. I used to lie to myself, I used to hide my Self from my self. I used to get in disputes with Marc quite often, and sometimes I couldn't stand him, and I would go long periods without attempting contact. When I first met him in auto shop, I thought he was alright, but kind of annoying as he hogged what little space was on those tiny bleachers. I now would say that he is an admiral person, because through his honesty with me, I know everything he says to me is genuine, he will never tell me that he's pleased with me if hes not, and he won't say he is feeling well if he isn't, and it has allowed us to have some great conversations I've learnt a lot from. I disagree with him often, but we always figure out what the other person is getting at, and why they were trying to get there. Only once you discover the root will you learn the source of their rationale. Through him, his fathers death, and my own struggles and desire to grow I have begun to learn to appreciate what is good in life, those who are good are to be thanked for their goodness, and shown that there is still reason to be hopeful in Man. We are packages of incredible potential, some of us turn into duds, some of us fizzle, while others take off. We choose to become a certain way, to react in the manner of our choosing. We base our beleifs on our reactions, we base our lives off so many moments, we forget that the only important moment is now.
Pill users claim theirs is clean, and legal too. It must be clean if a doctor gives it to you, right? Harm free too, right?
Cannabis users, while incredibly safe and beneficial in many ways, something most drugs lack, think everything else is hard, there's a reason everything is illegal, right? I wasn't lied to about drugs, right?
People will rationalise any decision they make as a good one, because who wants to live with the thought of having made some mistakes, especially huge ones? Its a hard thing to put aside your filters, your interpretations, and see life for what it is, a series of moments. Its easy to change the moments you experience into the ones you want to, but lies are found out eventually, Truth is there, even when hidden by falsehood.
I thanked my father for instilling independence in me, and for letting me learn to make my own mistakes, or make my own triumphs. It took me a long time to learn it, but now I have better things to learn. I think for the first time in a long time he was proud of me. I know he values my honesty, I have told him of every drug I have done, and my thoughts on all of them, including drugs I have not done, including the infamous Heroin, a shockingly safe drug, if pure, something which I was very amazed to know is less toxic than Alcohol is. I knew it was (and later I found out still is) prescribed for an array of uses, some of which were legitimate, some of which were more of a placebo affect... it was the turn of the 20th century... But as I can only say so much about drugs, I have also discussed with him my views on society, especially money, and I feel I am an extension of the part of him that quit being a lawyer to become a teacher because he didn't want to "ruin people's lives for money." He took almost 50 years to find his passion, I have a head start, I hope I find mine before I live a half century. I know what I am passionate about, but I can only be so interested in music without creating it, so interested in computers with this thing called life, so interested in drugs if I can not create them and distribute them freely. I have found the traits I wish to seek in those I will surround myself with, but I have not found those who posses what I see as right.
One of the things high on my list of traits I can't stand is dishonesty. I was dishonest as a child, and it brought me nothing good. I see nothing good comes from dishonesty in others as well. To hold back your true feelings to others is to hold back true feelings from yourself. I used to lie to myself, I used to hide my Self from my self. I used to get in disputes with Marc quite often, and sometimes I couldn't stand him, and I would go long periods without attempting contact. When I first met him in auto shop, I thought he was alright, but kind of annoying as he hogged what little space was on those tiny bleachers. I now would say that he is an admiral person, because through his honesty with me, I know everything he says to me is genuine, he will never tell me that he's pleased with me if hes not, and he won't say he is feeling well if he isn't, and it has allowed us to have some great conversations I've learnt a lot from. I disagree with him often, but we always figure out what the other person is getting at, and why they were trying to get there. Only once you discover the root will you learn the source of their rationale. Through him, his fathers death, and my own struggles and desire to grow I have begun to learn to appreciate what is good in life, those who are good are to be thanked for their goodness, and shown that there is still reason to be hopeful in Man. We are packages of incredible potential, some of us turn into duds, some of us fizzle, while others take off. We choose to become a certain way, to react in the manner of our choosing. We base our beleifs on our reactions, we base our lives off so many moments, we forget that the only important moment is now.