The Recent Past ..... A Prelude ???
Very recently I started taking driving lessons. Procrastination and fear of traffic coupled with doubts on my multitasking abilities while holding the steering wheel were primary factors that kept me from taking them earlier. Generally I am a very cautious and focused person. Well at least that is what I perceive myself to be and what I think others perceive of me too.
So as I was saying I started taking these classes and really began enjoying the feeling of being behind the wheels. It was liberating to say the very least. After qualifying for my drivers license and finally getting around to buy my own car, I decided one fine day to display my skills to a couple of close friends and my cousin. As luck would have it , the drive was commendably smooth and my confidence at its peak. My fellow passengers were at their silent best, lest they cause any sort of distraction. We had reached our destination - our favorite hangout for celebration parties. A little bit of tension did creep in as I was parking , but to my silent pleasure I managed to sandwich park the car almost perfectly. I literally let out a huge sigh of relief and was about to turn the car off when my cousin suggested that I leave a little space between the car in front and mine. That way it would be easy to take out which ever car decided to leave first and the driver of the other car would not be bothered. And so I got into reverse mode and was slowly adjusting space when for no reason I stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake and went Bang into the vehicle behind me. The shock of the hit caused tension to skyrocket. Instead of taking my foot of the accelerator and shifting it to the brakes I kept hitting the accelerator. I managed to hit two other cars behind before sense finally hit me and I stopped the reverse barrage.
It took me a month to come out of the shock - double one at that - of the hit and of the bills and compensations that followed. However every time my fingers lingered in the vicinity of my keys - my family would cry out in unison - " Do you want to take the car out ?" , or " Why not wait for some more time ?" and even worse " I don't think you are mentally equipped to handle the task of driving cars ". Give me a break. It was difficult for me even without the negative questions and jibes.
Does a momentary lapse have to mar your skill for lifetime ? Is the best predictor of your future behavior ... your past behavior.... or rather in this case immediate past behavior. It got me thinking about how judgmental we are of those around us. We tend to remember the recent negatives and highlight them while conveniently forgetting the positive distant past. The vice versa could be true too even if highly rare. I maybe at a higher risk of another careless crash but I may or may not -its a probability and definitely not a certainty. There would be hundreds of other variables that would determine what would happen, if at all it did happen, instead most people tended to focus on that one recent incident and turn it into a benchmark for my attention span.
On a more serious note , how many times have we written off someone for a recent bad behavior without going into the why's and causes for their behavior. Our next door neighbor might have been the sweetest girl we ever knew. All those who knew her would hardly have any negative comment until we find out she has been having an extra marital affair. And then it would be whispers on " Did you know .... " or " How could she do that .... ? " and even " she hardly looks the other woman type .... ".
I had a friend who was a fitness freak for as long as I could remember. His job however changed that. Continuous stress and related lethargy caused him to put on weight. Those who saw him 3 years after he took up his job were unable to recognize him. He was more than one and half his original size. Everyone had accepted his weight gain to be a part of the package of who he was.He kept buying new clothes to accommodate his growing size, refusing to believe he could fit into anything smaller ever again and everyone guaranteeing it by their assessment of his routine. Six months back plagued by chronic health issues and sudden health threat he went back to his fitness regime. A classic of a person having strayed off the predicted recency bias path.
The hectic and stress filled lifestyle that most of us live in would probably be a reason why we tend to have short term memories instead of the long term ones. It tends to make the dark and ominous part of our beings more dominant than the fun filled and lighter version of us. A recent stress in a relationship would have us seeking separation rather than remembering the good times and working on re achieving it. A teens recently erratic behavior would worry us to death instead of us trying to find the cause for the behavior and correcting the situation. When a cheerful friend becomes gloomy due to her circumstances we give support by ' talking it over ' even if it means talking about it over and over again without a solution instead of trying to remind her of the person she used to be.
People change all the time and perhaps that is the only thing constant about them.
So does the mantra - past behavior determines future behavior hold any water ? Well it would technically only in the following circumstances -
1. Habitual behavior is more predictable than infrequent behavior.
2. Prediction works best for a short term period.
3. The same situations must exist for the predicted future pattern as it did for the past action.
4. The person should not have been subject to corrective thoughts or punitive measures as the case maybe.
5. The person should basically be unchanged and consistent.
In my case -
(1) I was not consistently careless or unfocussed.
(2) My immediate past action had more chances of repeat only till I fully recovered from the shock of the accident.
(3) The same scenario would have to be necessarily repeated for it to repeat if at all.
(4) I did a lot of internal reassessment ( to understand what went wrong ) and re affirmations ( to convince myself I could drive again ) and ofcourse I was subjected to punitive measures.
(5) Last but not the least I did learn from the accident .... I adapted myself to the task of driving.
And so I was adamant not to let opinions formed by 'Recency Bias' stop me from what I wanted to do and knew I could do. Oh Yeah .... this was a small step that felt like a giant leap for me.
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy
( Every entry in Lj Idol has been an experience in itself for me. I have taken this topic up in the style of a blog. So, if you can keep aside any bias formed in the recent 10 weeks and take this topic as it is, if you can relate to what I have written this time around instead of analyzing if you could or not relate to the previous entries ... do vote for me. I do appreciate comments and feed backs - constructive or not. )
On my mind in a loop - I believe I can Fly - Ronan Keating https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdoo4bRoZcQ
So as I was saying I started taking these classes and really began enjoying the feeling of being behind the wheels. It was liberating to say the very least. After qualifying for my drivers license and finally getting around to buy my own car, I decided one fine day to display my skills to a couple of close friends and my cousin. As luck would have it , the drive was commendably smooth and my confidence at its peak. My fellow passengers were at their silent best, lest they cause any sort of distraction. We had reached our destination - our favorite hangout for celebration parties. A little bit of tension did creep in as I was parking , but to my silent pleasure I managed to sandwich park the car almost perfectly. I literally let out a huge sigh of relief and was about to turn the car off when my cousin suggested that I leave a little space between the car in front and mine. That way it would be easy to take out which ever car decided to leave first and the driver of the other car would not be bothered. And so I got into reverse mode and was slowly adjusting space when for no reason I stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake and went Bang into the vehicle behind me. The shock of the hit caused tension to skyrocket. Instead of taking my foot of the accelerator and shifting it to the brakes I kept hitting the accelerator. I managed to hit two other cars behind before sense finally hit me and I stopped the reverse barrage.
It took me a month to come out of the shock - double one at that - of the hit and of the bills and compensations that followed. However every time my fingers lingered in the vicinity of my keys - my family would cry out in unison - " Do you want to take the car out ?" , or " Why not wait for some more time ?" and even worse " I don't think you are mentally equipped to handle the task of driving cars ". Give me a break. It was difficult for me even without the negative questions and jibes.
Does a momentary lapse have to mar your skill for lifetime ? Is the best predictor of your future behavior ... your past behavior.... or rather in this case immediate past behavior. It got me thinking about how judgmental we are of those around us. We tend to remember the recent negatives and highlight them while conveniently forgetting the positive distant past. The vice versa could be true too even if highly rare. I maybe at a higher risk of another careless crash but I may or may not -its a probability and definitely not a certainty. There would be hundreds of other variables that would determine what would happen, if at all it did happen, instead most people tended to focus on that one recent incident and turn it into a benchmark for my attention span.
On a more serious note , how many times have we written off someone for a recent bad behavior without going into the why's and causes for their behavior. Our next door neighbor might have been the sweetest girl we ever knew. All those who knew her would hardly have any negative comment until we find out she has been having an extra marital affair. And then it would be whispers on " Did you know .... " or " How could she do that .... ? " and even " she hardly looks the other woman type .... ".
I had a friend who was a fitness freak for as long as I could remember. His job however changed that. Continuous stress and related lethargy caused him to put on weight. Those who saw him 3 years after he took up his job were unable to recognize him. He was more than one and half his original size. Everyone had accepted his weight gain to be a part of the package of who he was.He kept buying new clothes to accommodate his growing size, refusing to believe he could fit into anything smaller ever again and everyone guaranteeing it by their assessment of his routine. Six months back plagued by chronic health issues and sudden health threat he went back to his fitness regime. A classic of a person having strayed off the predicted recency bias path.
The hectic and stress filled lifestyle that most of us live in would probably be a reason why we tend to have short term memories instead of the long term ones. It tends to make the dark and ominous part of our beings more dominant than the fun filled and lighter version of us. A recent stress in a relationship would have us seeking separation rather than remembering the good times and working on re achieving it. A teens recently erratic behavior would worry us to death instead of us trying to find the cause for the behavior and correcting the situation. When a cheerful friend becomes gloomy due to her circumstances we give support by ' talking it over ' even if it means talking about it over and over again without a solution instead of trying to remind her of the person she used to be.
People change all the time and perhaps that is the only thing constant about them.
So does the mantra - past behavior determines future behavior hold any water ? Well it would technically only in the following circumstances -
1. Habitual behavior is more predictable than infrequent behavior.
2. Prediction works best for a short term period.
3. The same situations must exist for the predicted future pattern as it did for the past action.
4. The person should not have been subject to corrective thoughts or punitive measures as the case maybe.
5. The person should basically be unchanged and consistent.
In my case -
(1) I was not consistently careless or unfocussed.
(2) My immediate past action had more chances of repeat only till I fully recovered from the shock of the accident.
(3) The same scenario would have to be necessarily repeated for it to repeat if at all.
(4) I did a lot of internal reassessment ( to understand what went wrong ) and re affirmations ( to convince myself I could drive again ) and ofcourse I was subjected to punitive measures.
(5) Last but not the least I did learn from the accident .... I adapted myself to the task of driving.
And so I was adamant not to let opinions formed by 'Recency Bias' stop me from what I wanted to do and knew I could do. Oh Yeah .... this was a small step that felt like a giant leap for me.
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy
( Every entry in Lj Idol has been an experience in itself for me. I have taken this topic up in the style of a blog. So, if you can keep aside any bias formed in the recent 10 weeks and take this topic as it is, if you can relate to what I have written this time around instead of analyzing if you could or not relate to the previous entries ... do vote for me. I do appreciate comments and feed backs - constructive or not. )
On my mind in a loop - I believe I can Fly - Ronan Keating https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdoo4bRoZcQ