In Another Castle
And then yet again .... I dreamt of you
The setting was of a place and time so long ago, I could hardly recognise it. But what was familiar was you and me. So much in love, walking , talking and laughing as only we could. And just when I was feeling calm and getting comfortable in the warmth you always manage to envelope me with, the scene changes. Its like we have been teleported to a different time space. We have grown slightly older than we were in the first frame. Years have passed and things have changed. I can feel it as I watch the both of us. We were holding hands , me teary eyed and you composed and stoic.
" Its a small world you know. We will meet again. I am gonna be gone for just 2 years ", you were saying.
" Maybe. Or the two years could turn into never at all. Those things happen too. " , I replied. " We might end up going on with our lives as if the other didn't exist ", I continued my pessimism taking charge of my thought and words.
A tear falls from my eye, running through my cheek and living a trace of remorse on the could have been.
And before I could relive that scene I am again taken through a surreal time travel of sorts. The setting is unfamiliar and vague but whats familiar is again you and me.
We are older and we have changed ,our social circumstances and moral responsibilities different. However as you walk towards me , I realise that there is something that hasn't changed. The unresolved feelings between us. The chemistry between us that could spark a flame so dangerous.
" So we meet again " I smile and say.
" We had never said a bye. We hadn't moved away ... we were just pretending to, weren't we ? " he asked cheekily.
I could sense a fast approaching storm. I had my chance to turn away, but I choose not to. The effect was inevitable. There was no other possible end. I had chosen to get battered and bruised emotionally , all the while keeping hope alive that things would work out with time. But the time never came. I realised this as I watched you walk away from me. I hadn't realised till now how tired I looked and burnt out I felt. A tear slipped by as I watched the girl who was a ghost of who she had been , a girl who had lost every bit of will to survive.
At this point I woke up. It never ceases to amaze me how realistic and situation specific our dreams can be. It takes me a moment to gather myself. To understand what was real - the 'me' I saw at the end of the dream or the 'me' I knew I could be. I turned to look at the other side of the bed and saw my Significant Other. I suddenly knew 'me' and I felt love flood through.
I have always been an overtly romantic person. I believe in Love at First Sight because I have experienced it. The feeling of deja vu when u see a complete stranger for the first time and you experience the uncanny sensation of having known this person somewhere somehow. I believe in First Love being the purest love we will experience because we give it everything we have. Mine was too and surprisingly untouched by time and circumstances and that's why it was hard to let go after almost 20 years. The first time we love we love innocently, deeply and intensely because we don't know any different. That's why its the best till it lasts and hurts most when it ends.
I believe in Second Chances too because at a time when I least expected it or believed in its possibility it was dropped into my lap. The second time I loved differently - cautiously and carefully. The circumstances under which I met him , he who I can easily say is my Significant Other was controversial and if moral policing had to be applied highly unethical and outright outrageous. But the series of events that pushed me towards him could not be controlled by me in anyway. Maybe I didn't want to control it either. I was suddenly seeing a meaning in everything that I had been through. I realised why it never worked out the first time and with anyone else.
Life's unpredictable in all ways it is possible to be unpredictable. We look and search for things that we think we want , or imagine will make us happy and then so randomly we are shown that what we want is not what we need.
I knew what I had to do. It was time. I took my phone from the bedside table. Looked at the last 3 messages that had come in last night almost one after the other.
" Hi, How are you ? "
" Miss you, Can we meet ? "
" Can we just wanna talk "
It didn't stir me as it used to before. I set out to delete them and as I was about to delete the last one. My Significant Other reaches out and types out a reply instead. He looks at me , I nod in affirmation with complete trust. He presses the send button and hands the phone over to me.
It read " Sorry your princess is in another castle ".
The setting was of a place and time so long ago, I could hardly recognise it. But what was familiar was you and me. So much in love, walking , talking and laughing as only we could. And just when I was feeling calm and getting comfortable in the warmth you always manage to envelope me with, the scene changes. Its like we have been teleported to a different time space. We have grown slightly older than we were in the first frame. Years have passed and things have changed. I can feel it as I watch the both of us. We were holding hands , me teary eyed and you composed and stoic.
" Its a small world you know. We will meet again. I am gonna be gone for just 2 years ", you were saying.
" Maybe. Or the two years could turn into never at all. Those things happen too. " , I replied. " We might end up going on with our lives as if the other didn't exist ", I continued my pessimism taking charge of my thought and words.
A tear falls from my eye, running through my cheek and living a trace of remorse on the could have been.
And before I could relive that scene I am again taken through a surreal time travel of sorts. The setting is unfamiliar and vague but whats familiar is again you and me.
We are older and we have changed ,our social circumstances and moral responsibilities different. However as you walk towards me , I realise that there is something that hasn't changed. The unresolved feelings between us. The chemistry between us that could spark a flame so dangerous.
" So we meet again " I smile and say.
" We had never said a bye. We hadn't moved away ... we were just pretending to, weren't we ? " he asked cheekily.
I could sense a fast approaching storm. I had my chance to turn away, but I choose not to. The effect was inevitable. There was no other possible end. I had chosen to get battered and bruised emotionally , all the while keeping hope alive that things would work out with time. But the time never came. I realised this as I watched you walk away from me. I hadn't realised till now how tired I looked and burnt out I felt. A tear slipped by as I watched the girl who was a ghost of who she had been , a girl who had lost every bit of will to survive.
At this point I woke up. It never ceases to amaze me how realistic and situation specific our dreams can be. It takes me a moment to gather myself. To understand what was real - the 'me' I saw at the end of the dream or the 'me' I knew I could be. I turned to look at the other side of the bed and saw my Significant Other. I suddenly knew 'me' and I felt love flood through.
I have always been an overtly romantic person. I believe in Love at First Sight because I have experienced it. The feeling of deja vu when u see a complete stranger for the first time and you experience the uncanny sensation of having known this person somewhere somehow. I believe in First Love being the purest love we will experience because we give it everything we have. Mine was too and surprisingly untouched by time and circumstances and that's why it was hard to let go after almost 20 years. The first time we love we love innocently, deeply and intensely because we don't know any different. That's why its the best till it lasts and hurts most when it ends.
I believe in Second Chances too because at a time when I least expected it or believed in its possibility it was dropped into my lap. The second time I loved differently - cautiously and carefully. The circumstances under which I met him , he who I can easily say is my Significant Other was controversial and if moral policing had to be applied highly unethical and outright outrageous. But the series of events that pushed me towards him could not be controlled by me in anyway. Maybe I didn't want to control it either. I was suddenly seeing a meaning in everything that I had been through. I realised why it never worked out the first time and with anyone else.
Life's unpredictable in all ways it is possible to be unpredictable. We look and search for things that we think we want , or imagine will make us happy and then so randomly we are shown that what we want is not what we need.
I knew what I had to do. It was time. I took my phone from the bedside table. Looked at the last 3 messages that had come in last night almost one after the other.
" Hi, How are you ? "
" Miss you, Can we meet ? "
" Can we just wanna talk "
It didn't stir me as it used to before. I set out to delete them and as I was about to delete the last one. My Significant Other reaches out and types out a reply instead. He looks at me , I nod in affirmation with complete trust. He presses the send button and hands the phone over to me.
It read " Sorry your princess is in another castle ".