(no subject)
;alskdjf. so hot right now. i just got back from an afternoon run. yeah, that's gonna have to happen more often. summer's right around the corner! anyway, today was a day full of fake smiles. everyone tried to feign happiness as a way to hide the sadness of my grandma's predicament. watching my grandpa hold back his tears time after time was one of the most upseting things i've ever seen. that alone made my eyes water. i don't think anyone has as much love in their hearts as my grandpa has for my grandmother. he is about eight years older than her, and they were married when she was seventeen. it comes to a total of 58 years. it's honestly the sweetest thing i've ever seen. he's trying to be so strong for her, but inside he is absolutely falling apart. to make matters worse, tomorrow is his 85th birthday. he will essentially be spending it alone. the entire family came in town today to join him at church, then we went to the hospital, then back to the grandparents house to "celebrate" my grandpa's birthday, and finally back to the hospital one more time. only a few people can go in at a time to see my grandma because she's in intensive care. she looks all bruised up and worn out. i feel so terrible for her. she's glad to see us, but having visitors exhausts her. my grandpa kept hugging her and kissing her and calling her "honeybunch." she tried to hide the pain when she moved her legs, but i could see her expression and it was unbearable. back at their house, my grandpa choked up in the middle of opening his birthday gift. everyone went silent, but my aunt janie was able to smooth things over and keep things positive. for that, i love her. janie has been staying the night there all week so that he won't be alone. i wish i could stay with him. i really do. i seriously would love to move in with him for awhile. i think over the summer i will try to spend the night there a lot. i'm hoping my grandma will be back by then though. the only thing that really put a smile on my grandpa's face today was conner. oh, thank god for conner. he's too little to understand what's going on, so he's still his laughing, bouncing, cheery self. we all left around 4pm, and my grandpa was alone once again. i'm going to call him tomorrow to wish him a happy birthday. i can't tell you how much i want the two of them to be together and healthy again.