(no subject)
There were stretches of time, I remember, when I was so frightened. What if? I was scared you would leave, that we would be apart, that life would stop with out you.
Curled up in bed, with your arms across me, I would try to imprint the entire experience in my soul. Just in case I lost you. I tried so hard to save this experience of love. Just glimpses. I wanted to be able to call on it.
I had moments when I worried that I wouldn't survive, that I wouldn't be able to be your wife. What do I know about committment? Life long? Mine had only just begun. What if I couldn't cook? What if I was destined to be by myself, like all those dreams as a child? Thankfully, you never questioned anything. You were right.
And now we sit, 10, 20, 50 years later as a couple, having survived. At some point I stopped worrying. There wasn't time for wondering, I already was your companion, and you were happy.
How many arguments we had. Messes I made, words you didn't say, one of us getting so buried in our work that we didn't notice the other in need. But each time we rode the rollercoaster out together. Even if we weren't speaking the entire time. We never left. And here we are.
I am astonished that so much time has passed. Somewhere in my mind I guess I expected to feel a breeze, as life went by so fast, some physical sensation. Things have changed, yes, but somehow it doesn't seem that drastic. It wasn't. It was incredibly gradual.
Curled up in bed, with your arms across me, I would try to imprint the entire experience in my soul. Just in case I lost you. I tried so hard to save this experience of love. Just glimpses. I wanted to be able to call on it.
I had moments when I worried that I wouldn't survive, that I wouldn't be able to be your wife. What do I know about committment? Life long? Mine had only just begun. What if I couldn't cook? What if I was destined to be by myself, like all those dreams as a child? Thankfully, you never questioned anything. You were right.
And now we sit, 10, 20, 50 years later as a couple, having survived. At some point I stopped worrying. There wasn't time for wondering, I already was your companion, and you were happy.
How many arguments we had. Messes I made, words you didn't say, one of us getting so buried in our work that we didn't notice the other in need. But each time we rode the rollercoaster out together. Even if we weren't speaking the entire time. We never left. And here we are.
I am astonished that so much time has passed. Somewhere in my mind I guess I expected to feel a breeze, as life went by so fast, some physical sensation. Things have changed, yes, but somehow it doesn't seem that drastic. It wasn't. It was incredibly gradual.