those people you know, could live easily without you, dont really care about you
I tried to sleep but i cant...I have wayyy to much on my mind
Lets start with the story
..............................a loooong time ago..about 10-12 years ago my mom divorced my Dad, then got married to a man (my stepdad) Mike....he had been divorced three times before my Mom married him and he has three kids..they have two seprate moms....My stepdads upbringing will be my excuse for his actions because i dont think he could be as horrible of a person as he was without his own father have being such an asshole..long story short my Mother married this miserable man and we all have been suffering for about 10 long years..suffering meaning we have all been miserable due to the fact he is such a mean person..and his ways of life had been forced upon us for way too long now....hes done some fucked up shit..i wont write about it but ask me sometime if youd like to know because ive got every reason to hate this man as much as i do
Anyway the last few months my Mom has been so depressed she only got out of bed for work..i think it actually hit her that she needed to do somthing about the living situation...i have been kicked out of that place..more than 10 times so about 4 weeks ago i up and left for good...luckily i got my cousins who let me stay with them..im currently staying with them still
back to the story...my mom decided to leave..she looked at appartments, talked to family and actually found a two bedroom for her, me, and my sister to live in..
Problem was the real estate lady called and told Mike that we got the appartment instead of my moms cell phone ...honset mistake..none the less my stepfather freaked
I got a call today telling me not to go home or anywhere near it and was told my sister was going to stay at my grandmas..my mom had to face him alone tonight
Now Im stuck being scared for my Mom, really sad we cant take the dog rufus..worried for my belongings and everything else that comes along in a divorce..like family issues so on..i hope my stepdad just accepts whats going on but knowing the person he is i think its going to be messy..especially when i go over tomorrow to get my stuff..im scared as shit..My stepdad blames everything on me
He thinks i made my mom hate him and that im a druggy no good peice of shit..he thinks im fat and stupid and lazy and selfish and boy can i keep going with things he tells me....but ill stop..you get the point...anyway I know he hates me and hes gonna tell me exactly how he feels tomorrow im sure..but im going to try and be calm..get my stuff and be on my way
Best thing i can say is im sooo proud of my mother and im happy im going to live with her because even though i lived with her for the past 10 years ive never been able to spend real time with her or talk or anything..my stepdad never allowed it..im going to enjoy having a real family atmosphere
wow theres soo much more on my mind too..this is just the big issue i must deal with right now..I cant type it all into this online journal..id feel to ......fake
I honestly feel like i cant talk to anyone..truly talk..no one will come drive at 3 am to some place under the stars..(the only person i think who can is soooo far away)..hold me and tell me everything going to be ok..its ok..i dont blame you..everyone has much going on i know..ill still always be that person who pushes her shit aside so i can fix yours..
Always<3
Lets start with the story
..............................a loooong time ago..about 10-12 years ago my mom divorced my Dad, then got married to a man (my stepdad) Mike....he had been divorced three times before my Mom married him and he has three kids..they have two seprate moms....My stepdads upbringing will be my excuse for his actions because i dont think he could be as horrible of a person as he was without his own father have being such an asshole..long story short my Mother married this miserable man and we all have been suffering for about 10 long years..suffering meaning we have all been miserable due to the fact he is such a mean person..and his ways of life had been forced upon us for way too long now....hes done some fucked up shit..i wont write about it but ask me sometime if youd like to know because ive got every reason to hate this man as much as i do
Anyway the last few months my Mom has been so depressed she only got out of bed for work..i think it actually hit her that she needed to do somthing about the living situation...i have been kicked out of that place..more than 10 times so about 4 weeks ago i up and left for good...luckily i got my cousins who let me stay with them..im currently staying with them still
back to the story...my mom decided to leave..she looked at appartments, talked to family and actually found a two bedroom for her, me, and my sister to live in..
Problem was the real estate lady called and told Mike that we got the appartment instead of my moms cell phone ...honset mistake..none the less my stepfather freaked
I got a call today telling me not to go home or anywhere near it and was told my sister was going to stay at my grandmas..my mom had to face him alone tonight
Now Im stuck being scared for my Mom, really sad we cant take the dog rufus..worried for my belongings and everything else that comes along in a divorce..like family issues so on..i hope my stepdad just accepts whats going on but knowing the person he is i think its going to be messy..especially when i go over tomorrow to get my stuff..im scared as shit..My stepdad blames everything on me
He thinks i made my mom hate him and that im a druggy no good peice of shit..he thinks im fat and stupid and lazy and selfish and boy can i keep going with things he tells me....but ill stop..you get the point...anyway I know he hates me and hes gonna tell me exactly how he feels tomorrow im sure..but im going to try and be calm..get my stuff and be on my way
Best thing i can say is im sooo proud of my mother and im happy im going to live with her because even though i lived with her for the past 10 years ive never been able to spend real time with her or talk or anything..my stepdad never allowed it..im going to enjoy having a real family atmosphere
wow theres soo much more on my mind too..this is just the big issue i must deal with right now..I cant type it all into this online journal..id feel to ......fake
I honestly feel like i cant talk to anyone..truly talk..no one will come drive at 3 am to some place under the stars..(the only person i think who can is soooo far away)..hold me and tell me everything going to be ok..its ok..i dont blame you..everyone has much going on i know..ill still always be that person who pushes her shit aside so i can fix yours..
Always<3