love is what i want, love is what i need
went out to the queer bar tonight---joy of joys. went with
james...thought i was taking him back. alas, i got ditched.
oh well, it's how things go, i suppose. we say we're vacation
boyfriends; obviously we have an open relationship. ha!
i don't know what's all goin' on with me.. inside me.. i dunno. too much, too much. i know i've been harping on it for so long, but i just don't know what the fuck i'm going to do when i graduate; and i know i shouldn't be thinking about it, i mean it's not until may--but then, i think--it's MAY. MAY. 5 months.
that's fuckin' ridiculous. may? may 7, 2005, i will be a college graduate with a degree in, what? theatre performance. some degree. i can do so much--like be unemployed and work as a receptionist or a manager at denny's. hot. just what i've always wanted to do.
and then yale. yale. psh. did i really just waste my time and effort? or effort-lack-there-of? it's such craziness that i can't wrap my brain around it all. i just.. wish things would be different; back to the way they used to be when i didn't have to worry about all of this.
ob-la-di, ob-la-da, i suppose. life goes on.
all for now.
i don't know what's all goin' on with me.. inside me.. i dunno. too much, too much. i know i've been harping on it for so long, but i just don't know what the fuck i'm going to do when i graduate; and i know i shouldn't be thinking about it, i mean it's not until may--but then, i think--it's MAY. MAY. 5 months.
that's fuckin' ridiculous. may? may 7, 2005, i will be a college graduate with a degree in, what? theatre performance. some degree. i can do so much--like be unemployed and work as a receptionist or a manager at denny's. hot. just what i've always wanted to do.
and then yale. yale. psh. did i really just waste my time and effort? or effort-lack-there-of? it's such craziness that i can't wrap my brain around it all. i just.. wish things would be different; back to the way they used to be when i didn't have to worry about all of this.
ob-la-di, ob-la-da, i suppose. life goes on.
all for now.