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Man. I actually got confused at Math today, which was unnerving. D: Ummm. Psychology is pointless and I hate this project. It's not like this teacher is going to enforce any deadlines we might have, anyway. G.A.T.E. was boring. Gym was dumb. Playwriting was boring. Rehearsal was REALLY boring. Whaa.
But we're not called tomorrow, which is KICKASS. X3 I'mma work on my portfolio summore.
So Heroes was good tonight. SPOILERS AHEAD D:
But it made me think. Like, when... shoot, what's her name... cheerleader girl... was almost getting raped... I dunno. I realize that it's only a show and it's totally fictional, but... I can't imagine how terrifying that must be. And I can't help wondering if that'll happen to me one day, just because I'm so passive... rape is like, my biggest fear. I like to live in obliviousness... thinking I'll meet a great guy one day and he'll be the One and we'll be so perfect together... but I know it's not going to be like that. It could be, but more than likely it's just a fantasy. I'm not saying I'm going to get raped, but I'm not saying I'm not, either. Which is a rather morbid way of looking at it, but eh.
Everyone's been talking about sex and romance and boyfriends/girlfriends and making out lately. As much as I brush it off, knowing it doesn't apply to me at the moment, it's still sort of... I dunno... stressful? Like... "oh my god, that's going to be me one day. I'm going to have to deal with this someday". I mean, I want it... I want love and affection and all that stuff... but I know a bunch of other shit is going to come with it. I mean, I still have a very innocent view of this stuff... sex in particular. I mean, traditional sex is whatever, y'know? But I cannot grasp anything beyond that... blowjobs, threesomes, whatever. Like... seriously. With something like oral sex, I'm just like, "ICK!" Which is judgmental, yes, but from where I stand, I can't see the appeal. At all.
And I know most of this is just coming from the fact that I'm a virgin and I'm all innocent and shit... but... agh. I needed to rant. Just... it's basically all I hear about these days. And I want to remain innocent for as long as possible. I want to be geeky and think about art and eXiled and video games instead of worrying about when I'm going to eventually get a boyfriend.
My childhood is vanishing... I just hope I'm ready for it.
I want to stay innocent forever.
Anyway, back to Heroes. I'm sort of concerned where it's going. I mean, I like it and all, but tonight I was seeing a lot of... stupid. Especially in the dialogue. None of it seemed natural. "What has my father been planning? D:" "It's him! It's Sylar!" blahblah and it was like, "oh look we're blatantly trying to be dramatic". I dunno. I'm just afraid it might end up really dumb. And all this gorey stuff that's happening to whatserface is getting really... overdone. Like... "oh, what gruesome and horrible thing is going to happen to her this week?" I dunno. Just my opinion.
MMMMMRRRRF.