FIC: Last Call for Sin
Title: Last Call for Sin
Author: forbiddenromanc
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Kradam/Katy, Matt, Allison, Kris, Adam
Written For: ilytheira
Prompt: "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" by John Mayer, but with a focus on:
I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
Interpret any way you wish.
Summary: Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
Author's Note: This was intended to be angsty (as the song seemed to me) but it just wouldn't go that route, so. I hope you like it, even if it might not be exactly what you were looking/hoping for. Oh, and for the sake of this fic, let's pretend Drake and Adam broke up sometime before this fic started. Thank you ruby_fruit, colorofsmoke, bella_roma_101, emmiebby94, so_ferosh and nouveau_monday for assuring me this doesn't suck.
June 31th
“I’m here with this year’s American Idol, Kris Allen, who is about to start a tour all over the country with his fellow contestants. Okay, Kris -- the tour starts in. . .”
“Six days,” he filled in, “We leave in two days for our first stop -- Portland, it’s going to be awesome.”
“And crazy,” the reporter added, “52 stops in 50 cities, that--”
“It’s going to be a crazy summer, but I’m really looking forward to it.” He squinted against the afternoon sun.
The camera panned back, the mansion behind them revealed. “Looking forward to being in there again?”
“You know, I kind of am. We’ve all been rehearsing together, but it’s still like a little reunion.”
“Are you and Adam rooming together again?”
Questions about he and Adam were always expected -- he was more surprised when he wasn’t asked about them, though he didn’t know how many more questions people could really come up with. “Yeah, totally. I think most of us are rooming the way we did during the season. If it was for more than today and tomorrow maybe we’d play, like, musical roommates or something.” He grinned, waiting for her next question.
“Any particular city or cities you‘re excited to stop in?”
“I don’t know, I’m pretty much psyched about them all, but our home states should be pretty awesome.”
“All right, well, thank you for taking time to talk with us.“
Kris nodded, smile still in place. “Of course.”
“Good luck, and maybe we’ll see you after the tour.”
“Thank you.”
* * * * *
"What song is that?" Kris tried to see over Adam's broad shoulders to sneak a glance at Allison's iPod. She’d played it twice already, the melody piquing his interest the second time around.
Without looking up from the bright screen, as she fiddled with the volume, she answered, "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room."
"You should have sang this on tour, it really suits your voice." Adam's smile was big and kind, and made Kris feel a little dizzy, like when he kissed Katy for the first time. "Too bad you can‘t add another song."
Allison hummed in agreement, setting the song back to the beginning.
"Yeah, I guess," He rubbed the back of his neck, plopping himself on the piano bench, "I still kind of want Maybe I'm Amazed."
Adam drummed a beat on his thigh, singing softly, "Baby I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man, who's in the middle of something that he doesn't really understand. Baby I'm a man and maybe you're the only man who could ever help me."
Kris' fingers tickled the ivories, accompanying Adam's voice, before they both trailed off. "Maybe you should sing this on tour, man."
Adam smiled, bigger than before. "Nah. Paul McCartney is more your vibe."
Kris nodded, crinkling his nose, “Yeah, I guess so. Still -- you could sing anything and it’d be totally amazing.“
He rolled his eyes affectionately. Teasingly, he said, “I don’t think my ego can take much more stroking, Kristopher.”
“Like you’d turn down any kind of stroking from Kris,” Allison muttered from across the room, choking on her laughter when Kris blushed just enough for it to be noticeable.
Adam sighed with mock-annoyance, “I’m never living down the crush thing, am I?”
Allison grinned at him, couldn’t resist teasing him a little more, “Not if I have anything to say about it. Kris fueled my fire when he said he has a crush on you, too.” She winked at Kris when Adam face-palmed.
“I hate you both,” he tried to sound annoyed, but it was ruined by the smile taking over most of his face.
Kris wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing their sides together. “Liar.”
Adam laughed, trying to side-step them to the couch, which really wasn‘t working, but it was sort of like they were dancing; the soft sway of their bodies as Kris fought to keep his footing, leaning into the solid lines of Adam’s body and Adam’s firm hold on his hip, as they settled.
He dropped his arm away from Kris’ waist, giving up on getting to the couch, bodily harm seemed likely, if he kept trying and ruffled Kris‘ beanie, grinning, “Yeah, I guess I’m just doomed to love the two of you.”
“Guess so.” His phone buzzed in his hand, flashing a picture of a petite blonde. Katy.
“I’m gonna --” he nodded in the direction of the door, taking a step towards it. Adam smiled down at him, waving him out. “Catch you later.”
Adam had already moved further away, closer to Allison, but Kris could still hear the soft whisper of lyrics that escaped his mouth, “How dare you say it's nothing to me? Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.”
He nodded again, unseen by Adam, lingering at the door. “Hey Katy.”
He could heard Allison and Adam’s loud, infectious laughter start up as his slipped out the door, “Yeah, rehearsals are going great and it’s really nice to be with everyone again, you know?”
He noticed the tired edge in her voice as she spoke, the lack of familiar pep and he thought he should feel a little more guilty for being here, instead of with her. The noise and bustle of L.A. had become comforting and wonted like a home, and he wondered when he stopped associating Katy with that feeling.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, his train of thought startling him into such a long silence that Katy asked if he was still there, before picking back up where she left off.
Adam spilled out of the rehearsal room, Allison a few beats after him, taking off to the room off the hallway, where everyone else was, all the voices increasing in volume. He cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder, picking up his half-empty water bottle on his way through the kitchen, not really able to focus on what Katy was saying. He was off the phone after a few minutes, the conversation quickly dwindling to nothing, forcing them to end the empty silence. And Kris did feel guilty for the relief that washed over him as he hung up.
“Uhhh, right foot on yellow.”
Kris’s feet propelled him towards the sound of the voices, leading him into the common room. Shoving his phone into his back pocket, he stopped a few steps in, blinking at the sight before him. Allison was straddling one of Matt’s leg, who was sort of half under Adam, spinning a plastic arrow with his free hand, clearly not happy with whatever it had just landed on.
He cleared his throat to get their attention, silently laughing as they all wobbled, looked up and said in unison, “Hi.”
“What the heck are ya’ll doing?” Kris had to bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud.
Matt looked back down at the mat, searching for the closest green dot. It was between Adam’s legs. “Playing Twister.” Matt reached four spots over, placing his right hand on the green dot, careful to not elbow Adam in the thigh. “You want in?”
Kris watched Allison contort herself to place her left hand on the blue spot under the arch of Adam’s arm. “I think I’ll pass.”
“Your loss.” He shrugged as best he could in his position.
He started towards the door, throwing a small smile over his shoulder as Allison called out, “Bye Kris!”
Kris was half way up the stairs when he heard the thud of their bodies falling to the floor, shortly followed by hiccupping laughter, and he was a little sorry he’d missed it.
* * * * *
Kris had settled into bed with his guitar, lounging against multiple pillows, already in the clothes he slept in, when Adam came upstairs, bouncing into their room -- flushed and happy.
“Hey roomie,” he said, throwing him a half smile on his way in, stepping around the small mess he’d already made, heading into the bathroom.
Kris looked up, watching Adam slash a little water on his face and start removing his eyeliner, returning Adam’s smile when Adam caught his eyes in the mirror. “Hey.”
It’d become a sort of tradition of Kris’ to watch Adam as he swiped the cotton ball, laden with some expensive makeup remover, slowly across his face, in even, methodical strokes, unearthing a galaxy of freckles.
Adam walked out of the bathroom, discarding his shirt in favor of the larger, more comfy tee-shirt on his bed. “Practicing, or trying to relax?” he asked, flopping onto the bed Kris occupied, nodding to the instrument in Kris’ grasp.
Kris remembered the countless times he’d had done this during Idol and he has to fight to contain the wattage of his smile. Adam had some sort of aversion to being on his own bed when Kris was in the room, and it wasn‘t like Kris really minded.
“Both,” Kris replied, arching his beck to stretch, “So, who won?”
Adam smiled, shrugging. “I’m pretty sure we all lost.”
Adam’s skin was bright and pink from being freshly scrubbed, making Kris want to reach out and feel the glow against the back of his hand. “No one ever wins Twister. It‘s un-win-able.”
He seemed to be thinking for a minute or two, before replying with, “I used to win when I was a kid,” he paused, grinning, “Neil was a sore loser.”
Kris snorted, because of course Adam won. “You don’t count.”
Adam turned more towards Kris, eyebrow raised in question. “And why exactly don’t I count?”
“Because you’re the exception to everything.”
Adam tipped his head back, laughing softly against the bedspread. He halfheartedly shoved at Kris’s knee, muttering as he rolled off the bed and onto his feet, “Am not.”
“Yeah, you really are.” He grinned up at Adam. Kris hadn’t realized until now just how much he missed this.
Adam pulled back the covers to his own bed, rolling his eyes in Kris‘ direction, the effect of his mock-annoyance ruined by a yawn so wide he could feel his jaw crack. “I’m going to bed.”
“Enjoy tossing and turning!” Kris teased, balancing his guitar against the nightstand. Adam’s yawn reminded him of his own tiredness.
“Ha, ha. You’re just full of sass tonight, aren’t you?” Adam’s voice was muffled by the pillow and the blanket he’d pulled almost all the way over his head.
Kris stripped off his shirt, a little too warm, slipping under the only the first blanket. “You know you love it.”
Adam snorted. “Goodnight Kris.”
“Night.”
* * * * *
“Are you sure you want this?” The familiar voice was laced with concern, the gentle, almost featherlike touch stalling at his waistband.
“Yes.” The weight of the touch increased, slipping underneath Kris’ boxers, finding what it sought. Kris bit his lip, almost to the point of drawing blood, not quite keeping the low moan from escaping his lips, his hips jerking off the mattress into the pressure, the heat.
Kris fisted his hands in the cool sheets, wanting this to last longer, wanting-- “Adam. . .”
Adam kissed him, fast and dirty, matching the rhythm of his hand, “Come on, baby. Let go.”
“God, Adam, I--” And he let go.
Kris jerked awake with a gasp, breathing like he’d just finished a marathon, the sheets sticking to the sweat that coated his skin, surrounded by darkness, the shadows on the ceiling his only companion, other than the man in the bed across the room.
Sighing, Kris let his eyes fall back closed, remembering his dream. Flashes of dark hair, light eyes, freckled skin flickered under his closed eyelids, and he could feel his traitorous body reacting to the memory.
He could hear Adam’s deep, even breaths and relaxed a little, knowing he was in fact asleep. He didn’t think he could deal with the actual man with the dream version still dancing in his head. Reality settled around him, but he could still feel the insistent touch from his dream, the silky voice ringing in his head and, God, he wanted --.
The room, and the distance between their beds, seemed to get too small, too enclosed. So Kris did the only thing he could think of, he grabbed his guitar and a change of clothes and went downstairs.
* * * * *
Staying at the Idol mansion for the night wasn’t as weird as Adam had thought it’d be. Everyone fell back into the habits they had had here, back into the same rooming arrangements. It was familiar and comfortable, sharing a room with Kris, and he didn’t want to examine why a small part of himself hated that it’d would inevitably have to end.
Rubbing his eyes, Adam glanced at the clock and groaning, falling back against his pillow. A blob of dark green comforter, crumpled on the floor, caught his eyes, drawing his eyes up to the bed he didn‘t occupy. Waking up at 5:30 a.m. wasn’t unusual for Adam. Kris’ side of the room being empty was.
He laid there for a few more minutes, unsuccessfully trying to fall back to sleep, before deciding to just get up and go downstairs, see if anyone else was awake. Padding down the stairs, he could hear the low hum of Kris’ voice, echoing clearly through the hall. A slower, kind of acoustic version of the song Allison had played earlier. “Can't seem to hold you like I want to, so I can feel you in my arms.”
The door to the practice room was only slightly ajar, enough for Adam to see the outline of Kris’ body wrapped around his guitar. There was a kind of longing in his voice, a kind of empty emotion in his eyes that made Adam feel like his heart was being squeezed.
He sat outside, against the wall, listening to Kris sing for what seemed like hours, the lyrics clouding his head, the soft, slow strumming making him feel warm and pliable, Kris’ voice painting a picture behind his closed eyelids.
* * * * *
"Adam. . ." A quiet voice exhaled, soft touch ghosting along his jaw, up his cheek, sifting through his hair, pulling him into consciousness.
“Mm, what time is it?” He pressed into the heat of Kris’ palm.
“7:30.”
Adam hated how long it took for his brain to wake up, the cobwebs of sleep holding on. “In the morning?”
Kris laughed, his warm, breath falling over Adam’s face. “Yeah, you think we’d let you sleep the entire day away?” His smile faded a little, lines of worry drawn between his brows. “Especially against this wall.”
Kris’ nails scraped rhythmically along Adam’s scalp, and without really thinking, Adam sighed, “That feels really good.”
The rhythm stuttered, but didn’t stop. “My mom used to wake me up this way.”
"You sleep like the dead, but this wakes you up?"
Kris shrugged, letting his hand fall away, jerking his head in the direction of the rehearsal room. "What'd you think?"
Adam grinned, he had to, of course Kris didn't know how brilliant he was. "You sounded amazing.”
"Really? I'm not--"
"Really. It’s too bad no one will hear it.”
Kris' eyes got kind of soft, his vision dropping to Adam's lips and darting back up. "Thank you," he whispered, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek, lingering a beat too long. He was flushed when he pulled back a little, the warmth of his blush radiating off his skin, still close enough for Adam to feel it seep into him. Clearing his throat, he pushed himself back farther, "Lil made banana pancakes."
“Well then, what are we waiting for?”
* * * * *6 P.M.
The entire day was filled interviews or rehearsals and by the end of the day, Kris didn’t want to hear any song in his set for a very long time. The other Idols, besides he and Adam, had gone out for food, and maybe a movie, if Allison got her way.
Kris was fully enjoying the quiet as he threw himself down on the couch next to Adam, throwing an arm over his eyes, his hair brushing against Adam‘s denim covered thigh. “A nap sounds really awesome right now.”
Adam hummed in agreement, letting his head fall back against the back of the couch. He was tapping his fingers the tune of something, Kris was pretty sure it was Whole Lotta Love, fluffing Kris’ hair on every beat, making him feel warm and more sleepy. After a few minutes, Adam’s fingers thread themselves in Kris’ hair, rubbing against his scalp in light, soothing circles, like Kris had been doing that morning. Kris wanted to shift closer into the soft pressure, put his head in Adam’s lap and let his fingers lull him to sleep.
“Have you fallen asleep on me?” Adam’s voice was low and rough, much like he sounded in Kris‘ dream, forcing the images back to the front of Kris‘ mind.
Kris swallowed hard against the feeling of wantwantwant flooding his system. “I should probably call Katy.”
Adam’s eyes blinked open, staring into his own for a few seconds, before pulling his hand away and nodding. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
* * * * *
“No, Katy --,” Kris fought to not pull at his hair, “Yeah, I just--”
The rehearsal room door swung open, Adam stepping in and closing it behind him softly.
“Look, Katy, I have to go,” he scrubbed a hand down his face, making a face at the phone, “I’m sorry, but I-- okay, bye.” He tossed his phone onto a nearby chair, wanting to groan with frustration.
“You okay?” Adam frowned.
Kris sighed, “Yeah, I’m-- I don’t know. Katy and I have been having some problems. We‘re going to try a trial separation.”
“Oh, Kris. I’m sorry.“ Adam wrapped Kris into a hug, Kris’ pliant frame swaying into Adam’s like a rag doll. “Do you want to talk about it?” He sat them on the couch, keeping a comforting arm around him.
“Wouldn’t know where to start. I don’t think we thought so much would change, that we would change this much, and I used to be so sure of what I wanted, and now I -- I don’t know.”
“You know I’m always here for you, if you ever-- when you know where to start.”
“I know,” he sighed, sagging against him, “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” Adam pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Everything will work out how it’s supposed to, don‘t worry.”
Kris’ eyes were soft and open when he looked up, showcasing all the emotions he felt, none of them Adam had seen before to identify. He swallowed hard, his pupils blowing wide open. “I hope so.” he said finally, leaning his weight away from Adam, breathing unevenly, shifting his gaze to stare at his hands like they held the answers.
Adam grinned, bumping Kris‘ shoulder with his, wanting to make him laugh and take his mind off whatever he was thinking. “Are you doubting me?”
It got the laugh he'd been hoping for. “Oh, I know better than to do that.”
* * * *July 5th
“Your set kicks ass, but it’s still a shame the John Mayer song isn’t in it,” Adam said, stepping onto the lift, resting his hand on Kris’ hip, flicking his sweat-damp hair off his forehead. The final run through, which was mostly to check the equipment for the last time, was over after they made their big entrance and finished the song.
Kris snorted, leaning into Adam, bumping his own hip into Adam‘s. “Blame No Boundaries.”
Adam’s laugh vibrated through his body, and Kris could feel it in his like a current of electricity. Kris pressed his closer, letting himself fully feel the shocks. Kris draped his arm around Adam, curling his hand around Adam’s ribcage.
“Maybe they’ll let you replace it. You are the American Idol.”
“I’m not that lucky.”
Adam opened his mouth to reply, interrupted by the ‘in the niiiiight’ that cued the lift’s descent. Their limbs disentangled themselves, hands brushing together on their downswing.
Adam grinned down at him, switching his mic on. “Saved by the song, Allen.”
* * * * *
There was about an hour before the show, the Rose Garden packed, everyone in the audience and backstage buzzing with energy.
Kris was relaxed and happy, ready to get out there and hating that he had to wait so long, then Adam decided to ask him, “How are you and Katy?”
It didn’t hurt like it should, thinking about Katy, the date she had in a few days, their emotional distance. He felt impartial like he was thinking about a friend, which Katy would always be. He didn’t think about how it felt when Adam would talk about past boyfriends, or ones he wanted, didn’t think about Adam replacing his feeling of home.
“Pretty much the same.” He finished off his water, tossing the empty bottle into a nearby canister. “We haven’t really talked about it, you know?”
Adam nodded, pulling him into a hug, Kris going soft in his arms, and mumbling, “Thanks,” against Adam’s chest.
* * * * *
He met Adam at the stairs, both of them wearing identical smiles. Adam grasped his hand, pulling them down the stairs, ducking under a low pipe.
Kris shrugged his plaid shirt off his shoulders, grabbing the already open black shirt, adrenaline making his fingers unsteady as he tried to button it. Adam batted his hands away, swiftly snapping together all the buttons, tugging them both onto the lift.
Kris’ foot caught on the edge, sending him sprawling into Adam’s steady arms, fisting a handful of Adam’s jacket to help keep him upright. The bedazzled material dug into his palm, kind of imprinting a piece of Adam on him, like the nail polish that was long since gone.
“Honey, you have to let go.”
Kris blinked up at him, those familiar words that this Adam had never spoken rolling around in his head. “What?”
Adam’s hand covered Kris’, peeling it off his shirt. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I-- thanks.” And he stopped fighting what he’d wanted for he wasn’t sure how long anymore, raising up on his toes, catching Adam‘s lips with his, licking in his mouth, swallowing Adam’s soft noises, kissing Adam until the lift started moving.
* * * * *
“So, about that thing under the stage. . .” Adam started, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “What was that?”
“I need to explain kissing to you?” Kris teased.
His tone was sharp and serious, frustration hovering under the surface. “Kris.”
“Katy’s going on a date in two days and I’m okay with that, but I’m-- if I didn’t have you. . .”
Adam made a noise in the back of his throat. “Are--”
Kris grinned, feeling lighter than he had in awhile. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“That’s not what I was going to ask,” he muttered, mock-sulking.
“Oh?” Kris raised an eyebrow. “What were you going to ask then?”
Adam grinned, pulling Kris flush against his own body. “Can we do it again?”
* * * * *
August 1st
City lights flew by in a blur through the large windows of the bus, only flatbed trucks passing them here and there, too late or too early for any other traffic. The gentle motion, other than a few potholes, had long since lulled everyone else to bed.
Adam came back from the kitchenette, two glasses of water in hand, settling next to Kris on the tour bus couch, Kris curling easily under his arm.
Kris sighed against Adam’s shoulder, closing his eyes and enjoying Adam’s almost unnatural warmth. “Katy started divorce preceding today,” Kris breathed into Adam’s shirt.
Adam pressed a kiss to Kris’ temple, curling his hand around the back of his neck, running his fingers along the skin under Kris’s collar. “Are you okay with that?”
“Yeah, I am. I mean, we still love each other, but we’re not in love anymore. We don‘t fit anymore, not like--” Kris lifted his head off Adam’s chest, leaning his forehead against Adam’s, “Not like we do,” Kris breathed into Adam’s mouth, his mouth sliding messily across Adam‘s, Kris’ day old stubble scratching along Adam’s lips with each sloppy brush of their lips.
Adam pulled back, thumbing Kris’ jaw and pressing a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth. “Kris, I--”
“I know. Me too.”
* * * * *
September 15th
The stage was barely lit, the seats that were full hours ago were now empty, the cleaning crew long gone. Kris drummed his fingers on the side of the stool, the sound echoing faintly around him.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
Kris closed his eyes, letting Adam’s voice fall over him, thick and sweet like honey. He sounded relaxed, and almost sleepy, but Kris could feel the energy buzzing off of him.
“I’m not really thinking about anything, don’t waste your penny.” He let his body slouch into Adam’s, the warmth from his skin seeping into Kris’. “Did you think it’d be like this? That we‘d be here?”
“Sometimes.” One of Adam’s hands slipped down off Kris’ shoulder, stroking the skin just under the collar of his tee-shirt. His breath fell in hot, uneven buffs against the back of Kris’ neck, ruffling the short hairs at the base of his neck. “Did you?”
“Sometimes,” he repeated, his head lolling against Adam’s shoulder.
Adam pressed a kiss to his hairline, then his cheek. “Are you sorry?”
“Never.”
They kissed softly in the dim light, the quiet sound of their lips sliding together, muted gasps of air, gentle rustle of clothes were loud in the empty stadium.
The loud, distinctive click of the rest of the lights being shut off reverberated off the walls, and Adam’s low chuckle was lost on Kris’ lips.
Kris pulled away, grinning, “I think that’s our curtain call.”
Adam nodded, pressing their lips together again. “Let’s take a bow.”
Author: forbiddenromanc
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Kradam/Katy, Matt, Allison, Kris, Adam
Written For: ilytheira
Prompt: "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" by John Mayer, but with a focus on:
I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
Interpret any way you wish.
Summary: Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
Author's Note: This was intended to be angsty (as the song seemed to me) but it just wouldn't go that route, so. I hope you like it, even if it might not be exactly what you were looking/hoping for. Oh, and for the sake of this fic, let's pretend Drake and Adam broke up sometime before this fic started. Thank you ruby_fruit, colorofsmoke, bella_roma_101, emmiebby94, so_ferosh and nouveau_monday for assuring me this doesn't suck.
June 31th
“I’m here with this year’s American Idol, Kris Allen, who is about to start a tour all over the country with his fellow contestants. Okay, Kris -- the tour starts in. . .”
“Six days,” he filled in, “We leave in two days for our first stop -- Portland, it’s going to be awesome.”
“And crazy,” the reporter added, “52 stops in 50 cities, that--”
“It’s going to be a crazy summer, but I’m really looking forward to it.” He squinted against the afternoon sun.
The camera panned back, the mansion behind them revealed. “Looking forward to being in there again?”
“You know, I kind of am. We’ve all been rehearsing together, but it’s still like a little reunion.”
“Are you and Adam rooming together again?”
Questions about he and Adam were always expected -- he was more surprised when he wasn’t asked about them, though he didn’t know how many more questions people could really come up with. “Yeah, totally. I think most of us are rooming the way we did during the season. If it was for more than today and tomorrow maybe we’d play, like, musical roommates or something.” He grinned, waiting for her next question.
“Any particular city or cities you‘re excited to stop in?”
“I don’t know, I’m pretty much psyched about them all, but our home states should be pretty awesome.”
“All right, well, thank you for taking time to talk with us.“
Kris nodded, smile still in place. “Of course.”
“Good luck, and maybe we’ll see you after the tour.”
“Thank you.”
* * * * *
"What song is that?" Kris tried to see over Adam's broad shoulders to sneak a glance at Allison's iPod. She’d played it twice already, the melody piquing his interest the second time around.
Without looking up from the bright screen, as she fiddled with the volume, she answered, "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room."
"You should have sang this on tour, it really suits your voice." Adam's smile was big and kind, and made Kris feel a little dizzy, like when he kissed Katy for the first time. "Too bad you can‘t add another song."
Allison hummed in agreement, setting the song back to the beginning.
"Yeah, I guess," He rubbed the back of his neck, plopping himself on the piano bench, "I still kind of want Maybe I'm Amazed."
Adam drummed a beat on his thigh, singing softly, "Baby I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man, who's in the middle of something that he doesn't really understand. Baby I'm a man and maybe you're the only man who could ever help me."
Kris' fingers tickled the ivories, accompanying Adam's voice, before they both trailed off. "Maybe you should sing this on tour, man."
Adam smiled, bigger than before. "Nah. Paul McCartney is more your vibe."
Kris nodded, crinkling his nose, “Yeah, I guess so. Still -- you could sing anything and it’d be totally amazing.“
He rolled his eyes affectionately. Teasingly, he said, “I don’t think my ego can take much more stroking, Kristopher.”
“Like you’d turn down any kind of stroking from Kris,” Allison muttered from across the room, choking on her laughter when Kris blushed just enough for it to be noticeable.
Adam sighed with mock-annoyance, “I’m never living down the crush thing, am I?”
Allison grinned at him, couldn’t resist teasing him a little more, “Not if I have anything to say about it. Kris fueled my fire when he said he has a crush on you, too.” She winked at Kris when Adam face-palmed.
“I hate you both,” he tried to sound annoyed, but it was ruined by the smile taking over most of his face.
Kris wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing their sides together. “Liar.”
Adam laughed, trying to side-step them to the couch, which really wasn‘t working, but it was sort of like they were dancing; the soft sway of their bodies as Kris fought to keep his footing, leaning into the solid lines of Adam’s body and Adam’s firm hold on his hip, as they settled.
He dropped his arm away from Kris’ waist, giving up on getting to the couch, bodily harm seemed likely, if he kept trying and ruffled Kris‘ beanie, grinning, “Yeah, I guess I’m just doomed to love the two of you.”
“Guess so.” His phone buzzed in his hand, flashing a picture of a petite blonde. Katy.
“I’m gonna --” he nodded in the direction of the door, taking a step towards it. Adam smiled down at him, waving him out. “Catch you later.”
Adam had already moved further away, closer to Allison, but Kris could still hear the soft whisper of lyrics that escaped his mouth, “How dare you say it's nothing to me? Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.”
He nodded again, unseen by Adam, lingering at the door. “Hey Katy.”
He could heard Allison and Adam’s loud, infectious laughter start up as his slipped out the door, “Yeah, rehearsals are going great and it’s really nice to be with everyone again, you know?”
He noticed the tired edge in her voice as she spoke, the lack of familiar pep and he thought he should feel a little more guilty for being here, instead of with her. The noise and bustle of L.A. had become comforting and wonted like a home, and he wondered when he stopped associating Katy with that feeling.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, his train of thought startling him into such a long silence that Katy asked if he was still there, before picking back up where she left off.
Adam spilled out of the rehearsal room, Allison a few beats after him, taking off to the room off the hallway, where everyone else was, all the voices increasing in volume. He cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder, picking up his half-empty water bottle on his way through the kitchen, not really able to focus on what Katy was saying. He was off the phone after a few minutes, the conversation quickly dwindling to nothing, forcing them to end the empty silence. And Kris did feel guilty for the relief that washed over him as he hung up.
“Uhhh, right foot on yellow.”
Kris’s feet propelled him towards the sound of the voices, leading him into the common room. Shoving his phone into his back pocket, he stopped a few steps in, blinking at the sight before him. Allison was straddling one of Matt’s leg, who was sort of half under Adam, spinning a plastic arrow with his free hand, clearly not happy with whatever it had just landed on.
He cleared his throat to get their attention, silently laughing as they all wobbled, looked up and said in unison, “Hi.”
“What the heck are ya’ll doing?” Kris had to bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud.
Matt looked back down at the mat, searching for the closest green dot. It was between Adam’s legs. “Playing Twister.” Matt reached four spots over, placing his right hand on the green dot, careful to not elbow Adam in the thigh. “You want in?”
Kris watched Allison contort herself to place her left hand on the blue spot under the arch of Adam’s arm. “I think I’ll pass.”
“Your loss.” He shrugged as best he could in his position.
He started towards the door, throwing a small smile over his shoulder as Allison called out, “Bye Kris!”
Kris was half way up the stairs when he heard the thud of their bodies falling to the floor, shortly followed by hiccupping laughter, and he was a little sorry he’d missed it.
* * * * *
Kris had settled into bed with his guitar, lounging against multiple pillows, already in the clothes he slept in, when Adam came upstairs, bouncing into their room -- flushed and happy.
“Hey roomie,” he said, throwing him a half smile on his way in, stepping around the small mess he’d already made, heading into the bathroom.
Kris looked up, watching Adam slash a little water on his face and start removing his eyeliner, returning Adam’s smile when Adam caught his eyes in the mirror. “Hey.”
It’d become a sort of tradition of Kris’ to watch Adam as he swiped the cotton ball, laden with some expensive makeup remover, slowly across his face, in even, methodical strokes, unearthing a galaxy of freckles.
Adam walked out of the bathroom, discarding his shirt in favor of the larger, more comfy tee-shirt on his bed. “Practicing, or trying to relax?” he asked, flopping onto the bed Kris occupied, nodding to the instrument in Kris’ grasp.
Kris remembered the countless times he’d had done this during Idol and he has to fight to contain the wattage of his smile. Adam had some sort of aversion to being on his own bed when Kris was in the room, and it wasn‘t like Kris really minded.
“Both,” Kris replied, arching his beck to stretch, “So, who won?”
Adam smiled, shrugging. “I’m pretty sure we all lost.”
Adam’s skin was bright and pink from being freshly scrubbed, making Kris want to reach out and feel the glow against the back of his hand. “No one ever wins Twister. It‘s un-win-able.”
He seemed to be thinking for a minute or two, before replying with, “I used to win when I was a kid,” he paused, grinning, “Neil was a sore loser.”
Kris snorted, because of course Adam won. “You don’t count.”
Adam turned more towards Kris, eyebrow raised in question. “And why exactly don’t I count?”
“Because you’re the exception to everything.”
Adam tipped his head back, laughing softly against the bedspread. He halfheartedly shoved at Kris’s knee, muttering as he rolled off the bed and onto his feet, “Am not.”
“Yeah, you really are.” He grinned up at Adam. Kris hadn’t realized until now just how much he missed this.
Adam pulled back the covers to his own bed, rolling his eyes in Kris‘ direction, the effect of his mock-annoyance ruined by a yawn so wide he could feel his jaw crack. “I’m going to bed.”
“Enjoy tossing and turning!” Kris teased, balancing his guitar against the nightstand. Adam’s yawn reminded him of his own tiredness.
“Ha, ha. You’re just full of sass tonight, aren’t you?” Adam’s voice was muffled by the pillow and the blanket he’d pulled almost all the way over his head.
Kris stripped off his shirt, a little too warm, slipping under the only the first blanket. “You know you love it.”
Adam snorted. “Goodnight Kris.”
“Night.”
* * * * *
“Are you sure you want this?” The familiar voice was laced with concern, the gentle, almost featherlike touch stalling at his waistband.
“Yes.” The weight of the touch increased, slipping underneath Kris’ boxers, finding what it sought. Kris bit his lip, almost to the point of drawing blood, not quite keeping the low moan from escaping his lips, his hips jerking off the mattress into the pressure, the heat.
Kris fisted his hands in the cool sheets, wanting this to last longer, wanting-- “Adam. . .”
Adam kissed him, fast and dirty, matching the rhythm of his hand, “Come on, baby. Let go.”
“God, Adam, I--” And he let go.
Kris jerked awake with a gasp, breathing like he’d just finished a marathon, the sheets sticking to the sweat that coated his skin, surrounded by darkness, the shadows on the ceiling his only companion, other than the man in the bed across the room.
Sighing, Kris let his eyes fall back closed, remembering his dream. Flashes of dark hair, light eyes, freckled skin flickered under his closed eyelids, and he could feel his traitorous body reacting to the memory.
He could hear Adam’s deep, even breaths and relaxed a little, knowing he was in fact asleep. He didn’t think he could deal with the actual man with the dream version still dancing in his head. Reality settled around him, but he could still feel the insistent touch from his dream, the silky voice ringing in his head and, God, he wanted --.
The room, and the distance between their beds, seemed to get too small, too enclosed. So Kris did the only thing he could think of, he grabbed his guitar and a change of clothes and went downstairs.
* * * * *
Staying at the Idol mansion for the night wasn’t as weird as Adam had thought it’d be. Everyone fell back into the habits they had had here, back into the same rooming arrangements. It was familiar and comfortable, sharing a room with Kris, and he didn’t want to examine why a small part of himself hated that it’d would inevitably have to end.
Rubbing his eyes, Adam glanced at the clock and groaning, falling back against his pillow. A blob of dark green comforter, crumpled on the floor, caught his eyes, drawing his eyes up to the bed he didn‘t occupy. Waking up at 5:30 a.m. wasn’t unusual for Adam. Kris’ side of the room being empty was.
He laid there for a few more minutes, unsuccessfully trying to fall back to sleep, before deciding to just get up and go downstairs, see if anyone else was awake. Padding down the stairs, he could hear the low hum of Kris’ voice, echoing clearly through the hall. A slower, kind of acoustic version of the song Allison had played earlier. “Can't seem to hold you like I want to, so I can feel you in my arms.”
The door to the practice room was only slightly ajar, enough for Adam to see the outline of Kris’ body wrapped around his guitar. There was a kind of longing in his voice, a kind of empty emotion in his eyes that made Adam feel like his heart was being squeezed.
He sat outside, against the wall, listening to Kris sing for what seemed like hours, the lyrics clouding his head, the soft, slow strumming making him feel warm and pliable, Kris’ voice painting a picture behind his closed eyelids.
* * * * *
"Adam. . ." A quiet voice exhaled, soft touch ghosting along his jaw, up his cheek, sifting through his hair, pulling him into consciousness.
“Mm, what time is it?” He pressed into the heat of Kris’ palm.
“7:30.”
Adam hated how long it took for his brain to wake up, the cobwebs of sleep holding on. “In the morning?”
Kris laughed, his warm, breath falling over Adam’s face. “Yeah, you think we’d let you sleep the entire day away?” His smile faded a little, lines of worry drawn between his brows. “Especially against this wall.”
Kris’ nails scraped rhythmically along Adam’s scalp, and without really thinking, Adam sighed, “That feels really good.”
The rhythm stuttered, but didn’t stop. “My mom used to wake me up this way.”
"You sleep like the dead, but this wakes you up?"
Kris shrugged, letting his hand fall away, jerking his head in the direction of the rehearsal room. "What'd you think?"
Adam grinned, he had to, of course Kris didn't know how brilliant he was. "You sounded amazing.”
"Really? I'm not--"
"Really. It’s too bad no one will hear it.”
Kris' eyes got kind of soft, his vision dropping to Adam's lips and darting back up. "Thank you," he whispered, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek, lingering a beat too long. He was flushed when he pulled back a little, the warmth of his blush radiating off his skin, still close enough for Adam to feel it seep into him. Clearing his throat, he pushed himself back farther, "Lil made banana pancakes."
“Well then, what are we waiting for?”
* * * * *6 P.M.
The entire day was filled interviews or rehearsals and by the end of the day, Kris didn’t want to hear any song in his set for a very long time. The other Idols, besides he and Adam, had gone out for food, and maybe a movie, if Allison got her way.
Kris was fully enjoying the quiet as he threw himself down on the couch next to Adam, throwing an arm over his eyes, his hair brushing against Adam‘s denim covered thigh. “A nap sounds really awesome right now.”
Adam hummed in agreement, letting his head fall back against the back of the couch. He was tapping his fingers the tune of something, Kris was pretty sure it was Whole Lotta Love, fluffing Kris’ hair on every beat, making him feel warm and more sleepy. After a few minutes, Adam’s fingers thread themselves in Kris’ hair, rubbing against his scalp in light, soothing circles, like Kris had been doing that morning. Kris wanted to shift closer into the soft pressure, put his head in Adam’s lap and let his fingers lull him to sleep.
“Have you fallen asleep on me?” Adam’s voice was low and rough, much like he sounded in Kris‘ dream, forcing the images back to the front of Kris‘ mind.
Kris swallowed hard against the feeling of wantwantwant flooding his system. “I should probably call Katy.”
Adam’s eyes blinked open, staring into his own for a few seconds, before pulling his hand away and nodding. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
* * * * *
“No, Katy --,” Kris fought to not pull at his hair, “Yeah, I just--”
The rehearsal room door swung open, Adam stepping in and closing it behind him softly.
“Look, Katy, I have to go,” he scrubbed a hand down his face, making a face at the phone, “I’m sorry, but I-- okay, bye.” He tossed his phone onto a nearby chair, wanting to groan with frustration.
“You okay?” Adam frowned.
Kris sighed, “Yeah, I’m-- I don’t know. Katy and I have been having some problems. We‘re going to try a trial separation.”
“Oh, Kris. I’m sorry.“ Adam wrapped Kris into a hug, Kris’ pliant frame swaying into Adam’s like a rag doll. “Do you want to talk about it?” He sat them on the couch, keeping a comforting arm around him.
“Wouldn’t know where to start. I don’t think we thought so much would change, that we would change this much, and I used to be so sure of what I wanted, and now I -- I don’t know.”
“You know I’m always here for you, if you ever-- when you know where to start.”
“I know,” he sighed, sagging against him, “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” Adam pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Everything will work out how it’s supposed to, don‘t worry.”
Kris’ eyes were soft and open when he looked up, showcasing all the emotions he felt, none of them Adam had seen before to identify. He swallowed hard, his pupils blowing wide open. “I hope so.” he said finally, leaning his weight away from Adam, breathing unevenly, shifting his gaze to stare at his hands like they held the answers.
Adam grinned, bumping Kris‘ shoulder with his, wanting to make him laugh and take his mind off whatever he was thinking. “Are you doubting me?”
It got the laugh he'd been hoping for. “Oh, I know better than to do that.”
* * * *July 5th
“Your set kicks ass, but it’s still a shame the John Mayer song isn’t in it,” Adam said, stepping onto the lift, resting his hand on Kris’ hip, flicking his sweat-damp hair off his forehead. The final run through, which was mostly to check the equipment for the last time, was over after they made their big entrance and finished the song.
Kris snorted, leaning into Adam, bumping his own hip into Adam‘s. “Blame No Boundaries.”
Adam’s laugh vibrated through his body, and Kris could feel it in his like a current of electricity. Kris pressed his closer, letting himself fully feel the shocks. Kris draped his arm around Adam, curling his hand around Adam’s ribcage.
“Maybe they’ll let you replace it. You are the American Idol.”
“I’m not that lucky.”
Adam opened his mouth to reply, interrupted by the ‘in the niiiiight’ that cued the lift’s descent. Their limbs disentangled themselves, hands brushing together on their downswing.
Adam grinned down at him, switching his mic on. “Saved by the song, Allen.”
* * * * *
There was about an hour before the show, the Rose Garden packed, everyone in the audience and backstage buzzing with energy.
Kris was relaxed and happy, ready to get out there and hating that he had to wait so long, then Adam decided to ask him, “How are you and Katy?”
It didn’t hurt like it should, thinking about Katy, the date she had in a few days, their emotional distance. He felt impartial like he was thinking about a friend, which Katy would always be. He didn’t think about how it felt when Adam would talk about past boyfriends, or ones he wanted, didn’t think about Adam replacing his feeling of home.
“Pretty much the same.” He finished off his water, tossing the empty bottle into a nearby canister. “We haven’t really talked about it, you know?”
Adam nodded, pulling him into a hug, Kris going soft in his arms, and mumbling, “Thanks,” against Adam’s chest.
* * * * *
He met Adam at the stairs, both of them wearing identical smiles. Adam grasped his hand, pulling them down the stairs, ducking under a low pipe.
Kris shrugged his plaid shirt off his shoulders, grabbing the already open black shirt, adrenaline making his fingers unsteady as he tried to button it. Adam batted his hands away, swiftly snapping together all the buttons, tugging them both onto the lift.
Kris’ foot caught on the edge, sending him sprawling into Adam’s steady arms, fisting a handful of Adam’s jacket to help keep him upright. The bedazzled material dug into his palm, kind of imprinting a piece of Adam on him, like the nail polish that was long since gone.
“Honey, you have to let go.”
Kris blinked up at him, those familiar words that this Adam had never spoken rolling around in his head. “What?”
Adam’s hand covered Kris’, peeling it off his shirt. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I-- thanks.” And he stopped fighting what he’d wanted for he wasn’t sure how long anymore, raising up on his toes, catching Adam‘s lips with his, licking in his mouth, swallowing Adam’s soft noises, kissing Adam until the lift started moving.
* * * * *
“So, about that thing under the stage. . .” Adam started, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “What was that?”
“I need to explain kissing to you?” Kris teased.
His tone was sharp and serious, frustration hovering under the surface. “Kris.”
“Katy’s going on a date in two days and I’m okay with that, but I’m-- if I didn’t have you. . .”
Adam made a noise in the back of his throat. “Are--”
Kris grinned, feeling lighter than he had in awhile. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“That’s not what I was going to ask,” he muttered, mock-sulking.
“Oh?” Kris raised an eyebrow. “What were you going to ask then?”
Adam grinned, pulling Kris flush against his own body. “Can we do it again?”
* * * * *
August 1st
City lights flew by in a blur through the large windows of the bus, only flatbed trucks passing them here and there, too late or too early for any other traffic. The gentle motion, other than a few potholes, had long since lulled everyone else to bed.
Adam came back from the kitchenette, two glasses of water in hand, settling next to Kris on the tour bus couch, Kris curling easily under his arm.
Kris sighed against Adam’s shoulder, closing his eyes and enjoying Adam’s almost unnatural warmth. “Katy started divorce preceding today,” Kris breathed into Adam’s shirt.
Adam pressed a kiss to Kris’ temple, curling his hand around the back of his neck, running his fingers along the skin under Kris’s collar. “Are you okay with that?”
“Yeah, I am. I mean, we still love each other, but we’re not in love anymore. We don‘t fit anymore, not like--” Kris lifted his head off Adam’s chest, leaning his forehead against Adam’s, “Not like we do,” Kris breathed into Adam’s mouth, his mouth sliding messily across Adam‘s, Kris’ day old stubble scratching along Adam’s lips with each sloppy brush of their lips.
Adam pulled back, thumbing Kris’ jaw and pressing a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth. “Kris, I--”
“I know. Me too.”
* * * * *
September 15th
The stage was barely lit, the seats that were full hours ago were now empty, the cleaning crew long gone. Kris drummed his fingers on the side of the stool, the sound echoing faintly around him.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
Kris closed his eyes, letting Adam’s voice fall over him, thick and sweet like honey. He sounded relaxed, and almost sleepy, but Kris could feel the energy buzzing off of him.
“I’m not really thinking about anything, don’t waste your penny.” He let his body slouch into Adam’s, the warmth from his skin seeping into Kris’. “Did you think it’d be like this? That we‘d be here?”
“Sometimes.” One of Adam’s hands slipped down off Kris’ shoulder, stroking the skin just under the collar of his tee-shirt. His breath fell in hot, uneven buffs against the back of Kris’ neck, ruffling the short hairs at the base of his neck. “Did you?”
“Sometimes,” he repeated, his head lolling against Adam’s shoulder.
Adam pressed a kiss to his hairline, then his cheek. “Are you sorry?”
“Never.”
They kissed softly in the dim light, the quiet sound of their lips sliding together, muted gasps of air, gentle rustle of clothes were loud in the empty stadium.
The loud, distinctive click of the rest of the lights being shut off reverberated off the walls, and Adam’s low chuckle was lost on Kris’ lips.
Kris pulled away, grinning, “I think that’s our curtain call.”
Adam nodded, pressing their lips together again. “Let’s take a bow.”