Very few people know what I'm about to say. Maybe I should preface this by saying that although I'm 25, I don't have any sexual experience, neither with men nor women (okay, I kissed someone once; it was a girl, if it matters). So what the hell do I know, right?
I'm bisexual. When I was in middle school, I felt some attraction toward girls, but since I was attracted to boys too I thought I couldn't possibly be gay. Years later, even though I knew what bisexuality was, I thought - but I can't know that I am until I experience both boys and girls, in the meantime I must straight as a kind of default setting. But then I read about sexual identity and bisexuality and that identity is about you and not about what other people think or about matching some kind of criteria.
On the outside it didn't change anything. I don't behave differently. On the inside, it was a huge relief to admit it to myself, to let myself look at girls the way I looked at guys (hello, boobs!), to not limit myself when I thought about having a relationship with
( ... )
I'm pretty much the same. I'm 22, and have never even kissed anyone. And I know what you mean about some people thinking there's no way you can know until you've experienced something with either sex, but I think that's not true. My parents know. My best friends know. Other friends, I haven't told them, but I'm not exactly hiding it from them either.
Yeah, I'm not exactly hiding it to my parents but I just don't know how to bring that up, because, you know, what is there to tell? My best friends know, though.
I read your comment, and I too find the idea of threesome relationships and open relationships fascinating. :)
It took me a while to tell my parents. I kept thinking it over and over and mum could tell something was bugging me and asked what was wrong and it spilled out. Luckily my parents have always been supportive and they're cool with it.
I always like reading/hearing about people in open relationships or threesomes that can actually make it work.
It's awesome that your parents were supportive! I don't think my parents would reject me or anything, they're pretty open-minded in general, I'm just afraid they would be like," but, but how do you know?" I probably will have to tell them at some point, I'm really close to my family and it feels like a big thing for them to ignore. I think it would be safer to tell my sister first, because we've had a lot of talks about homosexuality, bisexuality and polyamourous relationships and I think she would understand. But for the moment I'm abroad and the only times I can talk to my family is through Skype so it's not ideal.
Thanks so much for commenting. I have to say it took my ages to write my own comment - and I'm pretty much so far out I'm in orbit.
And i think the thing that often gets omitted in the stories people tell about sexuality is how it does change. I would say very few people have the same sexual feelings or sexual experssion over their life, and i think we should all have the freedom to explore that.
Ugh, the old "you're a virgin. How the hell do you know what you like?" My sister's that way and it pisses me off. And she herself is bisexual! But yeah, I agree that it's not entirely true. I've never tried sushi and I know I don't like it because nothing about it appeals to me. Same goes for men. I mean sure, sometimes they might look good, but rarely enough to entice me.
As for coming out to your family, I think you'll know in your heart when it's the right time. And I think your idea of starting with your sister is great. It's what I did and it helped a lot. Well... okay, she did kind of stab me in the back with it once (I explain in my comment downthread) but she was pretty understanding and cool with it and it helped me a lot with coming out to my parents.
Yeah, I think I will probably start with my sister and climb my way up from here. Then there is also my brother - I have absolutely no idea what he would think about that. The thing is that my siblings are both younger than me and though they're not children anymore, I still kinda protective toward them. Not that it's anything they would need to be protected from!
Thank you for your comment! Best luck to you with everything. :)
I totes agree with things further down in this thread. Sexuality is what you are, not what you do. I'm bi but I've only ever dated men (through lack of opportunity rather than a desire to conform) and my sexual experience with women is limited. I'm still pretty sure I'm a full-on 50/50, AC/DC, batting-for-both-sides queer girl.
Your sexuality is what you feel it is, not what people tell you it is. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed because your knowledge of your own desires is not based on experience. They don't have the experience of being you, so they can STFU.
Your sexuality is what you feel it is, not what people tell you it is
It took me a while to come to that realization, but I was so relieved when I did! I can do whatever I want, date, have sex with, fantasize about whoever I want! I don't have to be limited.
This and what people have said so far. I am even older, not much experience with guys and almost none with women and I keep putting it off to tell my friends I am bisexual. Because: "there's nothing to tell". Well, there actually is. I have struggled to "declare" myself gay or straight until I thought, fuck this, maybe I am bi, and I have been much more happy and relaxed since then! I hope you can one day tell your family and find the right way to do so!
This meme has been awesome to make clear that I'm far from being alone in my feelings (which I kinda knew, I don't think I'm a special snowflake, but it's still good to hear all those story).
Thanks for your kind words, I wish you the best of luck too. :)
On the inside, it was a huge relief to admit it to myself, to let myself look at girls the way I looked at guys (hello, boobs!), to not limit myself when I thought about having a relationship with someone.
This is excellent! You are excellent.
And I'm a believer that you can know without having experienced. I had the same experience as well.
Lol, thank you. :D It was certainly an awesome feeling not to force myself to be something I'm not, even if it was just in my own head. And if this meme has done anything it was to prove that I wasn't alone in my experience!
I'm bisexual. When I was in middle school, I felt some attraction toward girls, but since I was attracted to boys too I thought I couldn't possibly be gay. Years later, even though I knew what bisexuality was, I thought - but I can't know that I am until I experience both boys and girls, in the meantime I must straight as a kind of default setting. But then I read about sexual identity and bisexuality and that identity is about you and not about what other people think or about matching some kind of criteria.
On the outside it didn't change anything. I don't behave differently. On the inside, it was a huge relief to admit it to myself, to let myself look at girls the way I looked at guys (hello, boobs!), to not limit myself when I thought about having a relationship with ( ... )
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My parents know. My best friends know. Other friends, I haven't told them, but I'm not exactly hiding it from them either.
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I read your comment, and I too find the idea of threesome relationships and open relationships fascinating. :)
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I always like reading/hearing about people in open relationships or threesomes that can actually make it work.
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And i think the thing that often gets omitted in the stories people tell about sexuality is how it does change. I would say very few people have the same sexual feelings or sexual experssion over their life, and i think we should all have the freedom to explore that.
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As for coming out to your family, I think you'll know in your heart when it's the right time. And I think your idea of starting with your sister is great. It's what I did and it helped a lot. Well... okay, she did kind of stab me in the back with it once (I explain in my comment downthread) but she was pretty understanding and cool with it and it helped me a lot with coming out to my parents.
Best of luck to you, hun! <3
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Yeah, I think I will probably start with my sister and climb my way up from here. Then there is also my brother - I have absolutely no idea what he would think about that. The thing is that my siblings are both younger than me and though they're not children anymore, I still kinda protective toward them. Not that it's anything they would need to be protected from!
Thank you for your comment! Best luck to you with everything. :)
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Your sexuality is what you feel it is, not what people tell you it is. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed because your knowledge of your own desires is not based on experience. They don't have the experience of being you, so they can STFU.
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It took me a while to come to that realization, but I was so relieved when I did! I can do whatever I want, date, have sex with, fantasize about whoever I want! I don't have to be limited.
Reply
I am even older, not much experience with guys and almost none with women and I keep putting it off to tell my friends I am bisexual. Because: "there's nothing to tell". Well, there actually is. I have struggled to "declare" myself gay or straight until I thought, fuck this, maybe I am bi, and I have been much more happy and relaxed since then!
I hope you can one day tell your family and find the right way to do so!
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Thanks for your kind words, I wish you the best of luck too. :)
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This is excellent! You are excellent.
And I'm a believer that you can know without having experienced. I had the same experience as well.
I wish you all the best with your journey!
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Best to you too!
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