Comments | missyjack: You can’t Google hope

missyjack

You can’t Google hope

Jan 13, 2008 15:35

This ficlet is a bleak bit of introspection from Sam’s POV. Because I’m feeling bleak and introspective.

Title: You can’t Google hope.

unbetaed, 960 words.

Sam slapped the laptop shut and pushed it away. After ten months of fruitlessly searching for ways to break Dean’s deal, trawling through the megabytes of useless crap that passed for ( Read more... )

gen

Comments 81

iamstealthyone January 13 2008, 04:40:11 UTC

Oh, Sam. This is so hurty. *hugs both boys*

Nicely done.

Favorite lines:

“I sat there staring at you, and I prayed. I prayed so hard Sam. I said every prayer I knew in Latin and Greek and in English.” Dean’s voice was a whisper. “And then I just begged.”

This makes me ache for him.

“Why? What fucking good did it do? No one answered.” Dean had stood with his back to Sam, staring out the window. “But demons? All it took was some cat bones at a crossroads and in five minutes I had a deal. Hell? Lot better customer service than Heaven.”

Ouch.

These days his own faith was as thin as a communion wafer.

Great analogy.

didn’t need to know the anguish and fear that gnawed away at him like rats under his ribcage.

Good analogy here, too.

The only thing he had left to take comfort in was that, when the time came, Dean wouldn’t die alone.

And again I must say it: Oh, Sam.

missyjack January 13 2008, 05:03:56 UTC

Thanks for you lovely feedback. I am a bit obsessed with Sam's pain at the moment! I just can't imagine how hard it is for him, knowing he's losing Dean and not being about to do anything about it.

(The comment has been removed)

missyjack January 13 2008, 05:04:32 UTC

Thank you! Sorry i couldn't provide some healing porn here!

embroiderama January 13 2008, 05:05:20 UTC

Oh, Sammy. This story is just a big ball of pain, but it's really beautiful at the same time.

missyjack January 13 2008, 05:08:29 UTC

Thank you. I just keep thinking how hard it must be for Sam - he must feel so guilty, and so powerless. Honestly I can't imagine how can get through the day with the pain he must have.

aynslee January 13 2008, 05:16:57 UTC

This is so hard to think about, and so painful, but for some reason it's so beautiful too--I suppose it's the level of their devotion to each other. I love the last line.

missyjack January 13 2008, 06:22:09 UTC

Thanks so much.

ash48 January 13 2008, 05:38:36 UTC

Oh. *sniffle* That hurt my dear. Beautifully written as usual.

missyjack January 13 2008, 06:22:22 UTC

Thank you!