RPS ~ "Thanks for the Memories"

[missy7280]

Title: Thanks for the Memories
Author: Kai (missy7280)
Pairing: Mark Reynolds/Greg Smith
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 1,500
Summary: The night before Mark's major league debut, he spent the night playing video games and generally freaking out with his friend Greg. This is a story about what happened that night.
Disclaimer: Although Mark really did

Comments

I fufill my promises! I'm so incredibly slow! 1/2

[xcacophony]

It's so amusing how this starts out because I originally thought it was going to be with Mark answering the phone and getting the call, because that's the direction that americanleaguer went with. Instead we get the couple hours later version, which I think is interesting because I can't help but wonder what Greg was feeling. Although since his first line is him shrugging and pinching Mark.. haha, I love your Greg. So simple and laid back.

And aw man, I miss this Mark, when he was really kind of this young little rookie and not this experienced skinny Barry Bonds. It's not that I think his personality has changed but what really appealed to me about him was his youth and that's not really around now. Minor league Mark and Greg.. those guys were such a great point in time and just this once night can be run with in so many directions. But anyway, you didn't know a lick about Greg when you wrote this but I think it fits him very well. :D

But I don't think a guy in double-A brings around a mini-fridge. haha. However, props to realistic manliness in the way Mark sort of handled the proposition of meditation (sounds kinda gay.) I would've never imagined them doing this and so when you wrote that in I was surprised -- in a good way. Because I think it's an effective transition to them messing around and it really works in the moment of the scene. I love the imagery Greg uses, btw, about Mark at the new ballpark.

I just thought it was odd that Greg just asked Mark if he wanted them to go forward. I think it broke the rhythem you had going there. And I guess I just imagine them being of few words there. Like.. "Mark?" "Yeah," he says, licking his lips, and Greg pauses, then leans forward.. That line just came to me. Cool. But yeah. Just a little thing.

I love the imagery of their sex scene; and not in the graphic way, I mean, them sort of in the dark on the hotel bed and with maybe the tv still on from video games? And the window kind of cracked open? It's got that feeling like.. like an opprotunity cut short in the backwoods of some tiny double-A city, and you can tell it'll stay in that motel room and that'll be the it of it, but at the same time it's a small turning point for both them. Yeah.

I love how Mark feels that Greg is far away from him towards the end, and has them kiss. Because that tells me a lot about Mark, and what what's going on means to him, and how close, as a friend, he is to Greg. It's close enough that it's not meaningless sex, it's the end of a bonding between close friends.