Title: Lips of An Angel
Chapter: One-Shot
Author:
missy42Rating: R
Fandom: Television - Lost
'Ship: ZOMGMADHOTJUNGLESEX!!! **ahem** Ana Lucia/James "Sawyer" Ford. (Also a little Sawyer/Cass, Ana Lucia/Danny, Jack/Sarah, Jack/Ana Lucia. Sorta.)
Challenge: None
Warning: Language, sexual content
Disclaimer: Dr. Gregory House has fired this disclaimer for being a cutthroat bitch. Wait, she's back? Oh, sonofa...!
Words: 10,873
Beta-Reader:
pegasi1978Summary: Sawyer's made a life-altering change, only to realize he's in stuck in an existence he hates. Until he gets a phone call in the middle of the night that changes everything. Pre-crash AU fic based on the Hinder song "Lips of an Angel."
Author's Note: Honestly, who heard this song and didn't think of Michelle Rodriguez - or at least one of her characters? Also, I'd just like to take this moment to say that I had way too much fun messing with Jack. I was surprised to find that I enjoyed writing the bar scene between Sawyer and Jack. Turns out, they can be fun to play off one another! Who knew?
The first thing Sawyer saw was the shopping bags and his mood plummeted. He had been hoping to go a whole week without a fight, but apparently, that wasn't going to happen. He sighed deeply.
"Sawyer, is that you?" he heard Cass say from the other room. He clenched his jaw, biting back angry words as she came into the living room.
"Now don't get mad," she said when her gaze followed his angry stare to the bags.
"How much?"
"Sawyer, you know that's not -"
"How. Much," he repeated.
"Three hundred dollars. A shoe."
Sawyer gaped. "How many shoes?"
"Sawyer, you have to understand -"
"How many shoes, Cass?"
"Four. Pairs," she said quietly, as if he wouldn't hear her that way.
"Oh my God! You were out with Veronica again, weren't you? Twelve hundred dollars?!"
"Plus..."
"Plus?! Plus what?"
She hesitated. "A dress."
"Another one? I can't fit anything into that closet because a' alla your dresses."
"But it looks amazing on me, Sawyer, and I can wear it to that party on Saturday -"
"I thought you were going to wear that blue one?"
"Are you crazy? I can't wear that thing! Half the people at the party already saw me in it earlier this winter at the Oviet party."
"You're kidding me." She opened her mouth to talk, but he stopped her. "At least tell me you looked for a job."
"Well...no..."
"Damnit!"
"But I did find this beautiful pants suit that will be perfect for interviews -"
"What?! You bought that today, too? When you already have a perfectly good interview outfit? Give me your credit card."
"What?"
"You're not allowed to go shopping anymore, and you will not be wearing these things. I will bring them back to the store this weekend."
He could see the gears shifting in her head as she did a one-eighty from apologetic to defensive.
"Sawyer, you have to understand, they have good connections, they can get me a good job, but I have to schmooze a little bit, first. Shopping is how I socialize with these people. Plus, it helps me de-stress. Once I get in with them -"
"Well, find another way to schmooze them using the wardrobe you already have. You're not to do anymore shopping."
"But Sawyer, I need this," she pleaded, once again changing tactics.
"And you know what I need? I need to eat. I need a roof over my head. I need gas to get to work. I can't do that when you spend an entire month's paycheck in a day!"
They went back and forth, Cass throwing every emotion at him, and him not budging. Eventually, she handed over her credit cards and announced she was heading to bed. Extremely pissed off, she warned him about trying to join her there tonight. Sawyer didn't take this as bad as the insult was meant to be. It had been one of their worst fights ever, and Sawyer was so pissed off, he had no desire to be anywhere near her tonight.
Instead, he went to the kitchen for some beer and junk food and plopped down in front of the television. Listening closely, he heard Cass's snores coming from the other room and breathed a sigh of relief. The woman was convinced that she didn't snore, despite having been presented once with audio evidence to the contrary, saying that the recording he had taken "could have come from anywhere or anyone," which then led to an argument over who else he might be spending his nights with. After that, Sawyer knew that since she insisted that she didn't snore, she would never purposefully start snoring to pretend that she was asleep. Ergo, whenever he could hear her snoring, he knew she would actually be asleep.
He thought about turning on the news, then decided that would just depress him more, so he just leaned his head back and took a swig from his bottle and contemplated how things had gotten to this point.
Going legit hadn't been as difficult as he had anticipated. He had done it for her. At the time, he had wondered if it was because he loved her, but he was beginning to seriously doubt that, now. He just remembered he couldn't betray her the way he had originally planned. He cared about her too much. So they had fled together, going to the one town they were least likely to find trouble.
Los Angeles.
Well, an area called Palms, to be specific, but it was close enough. It was ironic, actually, that the one town he had never pulled a job was one of the largest in the world. But he had kept his nose clean so far. Gotten a job working at a company that made and shipped boxes. He worked on the loading dock. It was boring, backbreaking work and there were times when he seriously wanted to go back to robbing the rich and giving to himself (and the people he owed money). But he was working too much to have time to come up with any new schemes. In fact, it seemed that he was too busy for much of anything these days - work always left him so wiped, he didn't feel like doing anything once he got home.
And now, Cass, the woman he had given it all up for, the woman he thought he loved, was driving him nuts. When they had run for it, it had been exciting. But now that their lives had settled down, it seemed her true colours were showing. She had blown through her own money from her divorce settlement and had moved on to Sawyer's honest, hard-earned cash. It seemed like they kept having the same argument every time and he was beginning to wonder if it was all worth it. All in all, she was proving to be much higher maintenance than he had ever thought possible. It reminded him of why he had always wanted to remain single in the first place.
He took another sip from his beer and finally admitted something to himself. He was stuck and he hated it.
It was at that point that the phone rang.
Sawyer checked the clock. It was long past eleven - nearly midnight, in fact - who would be calling at this hour on a weeknight? But he snatched up the receiver that was sitting on the table at the end of the couch. If it rang a second time, Cass was likely to wake up, and he didn't want to face her again tonight.
"'Lo?" he said quietly.
Silence.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
Then, he heard someone catching their breath on the other end and a sort of panting sound. He groaned in frustration.
"Listen, punk-ass, I know you think you're clever and all but -"
"James?" he heard the person saying on the other line and froze. There was only one person who knew him by that name, and even though she had only said one word, her voice was unmistakable.
"Ana Lucia?" he whispered quietly.
"Hi."
"My God, I haven't heard from you in ages! How are you, honey?" She didn't answer. "Hotlips? Honey, why you callin' me so late?"
"This is a bad time isn't it? God, I'm sorry."
"Well... It's... I mean, it's kinda hard to talk right now, but..." but he stopped, mid-sentence when he heard her sniffle. "Honey, are you crying? Is everything okay?"
"You still with Cass?"
He didn't actually want to answer that. Cass was the reason he hadn't seen Ana Lucia in so long. He had re-connected with her briefly when he had moved to Los Angeles, but Cass, in all her jealous, female wisdom, had forbidden him to see her. Sawyer had insisted that Cass had nothing to be worried about, but Ana Lucia didn't want to cause any trouble for the couple and had opted to honour his girlfriend's wishes. Sawyer had reluctantly decided that Ana was probably right - with lips like Ana's, it would be hard to be faithful - but he had missed Ana Lucia's friendship. Now, he was thrilled just to be hearing her voice on the other line, and at the same time worried. If she was calling him, it had to be because it was something big enough to risk being caught by Cass, however innocent the call may have been. He knew that if he told Ana that Cass was just in the next room that Ana would hang up in an effort to not make trouble. He didn't want that to happen especially when she was in such obvious distress, but he also didn't want to lie to her.
"She's asleep, which is why I gotta whisper. She's in the next room."
"I don't want to cause trouble."
"Don't worry about it, Luce. As long as I keep it down, it'll be fine. It's ah... it's really good to hear your voice again. Hear someone who actually knows my real name."
"Look, I'm sorry, I really shouldn't have called. I'm sorry, James."
"No, please don't -" but she had already hung up.
Damnit, Sawyer thought.
Ana Lucia opened the door to find herself face-to-face with none other than James "Sawyer" Ford.
"James," she said, wide-eyed. "What are you doing here?" she asked, eyebrows furrowed.
Sawyer shrugged. "Sounded like you needed a friend."
"What about Cass?"
"You let me worry about that." She just stared at him in amazement for a few moments before he spoke up again. "So...we gonna do this in the doorway, or are you gonna let me in?"
"No. No, I... I'm sorry, I just didn't think... Come in, come in." She stepped aside and gestured towards the couch, where he made himself comfortable as Ana Lucia shut the door and then plopped down next to him. She didn't look at him at first but stared straight ahead trying to stay stoic.
"So..." Sawyer tried to begin, but not exactly sure how to start. But the second she heard his voice, Ana Lucia looked at him, her own eyes full of a sadness he was pretty sure he had gotten a hint of over the phone. It was a fleeting glance, though, and as soon as she seemed to realize they had made eye contact, she looked down, suddenly very interested in the hands she was wringing in her lap.
"So," he pressed on, "you gonna tell me what's wrong or are we gonna just sit here?"
"You shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have called."
"Don't give me that bullshit. You called for a reason and I'm here. So c'mon, Lucy, out with it. What's wrong?"
She looked up at him again, her eyes brilliant with tears that hadn't yet spilled onto her cheeks. "This has been the worst year of my life. And it's not even March!" She seemed to have just realized the last part and managed to get it out before erupting into sobs. Sawyer had never seen her cry before and he found himself unnerved as he drew her into an embrace, his heart beginning to melt for her.
"What happened, honey?"
"I got shot," she managed through her tears. "At work. Some punk kid. It wouldn't have been so bad but... I was pregnant," she blurted out, as though confessing it for the first time. "Ten weeks. I got shot and the shit hit the fan. I lost the baby and Danny and I haven't been the same since and I know I haven't been myself, but now they've got me in therapy and all I think is that it's not working and all it's doing is keeping me from working because if I'm working, at least I'd have something else to focus on but instead, I'm starting to worry that they won't even let me back on the force, and so I'm stuck in my head will all this crap and I'm dwelling on everything and it just keeps building and building and tonight Danny and I had this huge fight and he just left and... And that's when I called you."
Sawyer had to keep himself from wincing at the sound of Danny's name. He had met him once before, and immediately knew that he wasn't right for Ana Lucia. In fact, if it hadn't have been for the fact that Danny was with Ana Lucia, Sawyer might have gotten on quite well with him, though he would never admit this.
For all her reluctance to talk to him, she sure was letting it all out now, and Sawyer had a sneaking suspicion that it was long over-due. So he sat and listened to her, allowing her to rant, all the time wondering why he had just been fighting over something as trivial as shoes.
"I'm so sorry," was all he could manage. It was sincere, but he couldn't help feel it was wholly inadequate for what she was going. Her only response was to sob and hug him a little tighter. It was a little unnerving for Sawyer. Ana Lucia was always so tough, and here she was, bawling into his chest. He supposed he couldn't blame her though. Getting shot and losing a baby in one fell swoop. That was huge. "Luce, if there's anything I can do -"
"Talk to me."
"About what?"
"Anything. Nothing. Just please something to take me out of this insane little world because it's spinning out of control and if I don't have something else to grab onto I'm going to go insane."
Sawyer hesitated. "The only thing I have to talk about is... stupid."
"The stupider, the better. This is just too heavy for me to deal with."
"Alright," he conceded. "Alright, well maybe you can help me with something. You're a woman."
"That's what the doctors tell me, anyway." Sawyer detected the slightest hint of bitterness, and he couldn't help but get the feeling that he had touched on a nerve - as if recent events had made her doubt her own gender.
"And a mighty fine one you are." He thought he saw her blush the tiniest bit and hoped it meant that he had smooth over his misstep. "So tell me now," he continued. "What's the most you've ever spent on a pair of shoes?"
It was Ana Lucia's turn to hesitate.
"I'll make no judgments."
"Yes you will."
"Alright, I will, but... please?"
"Alright, I'll tell you. But before I do, bear in mind that they were really comfortable, durable and they go with everything. I wear them all the time."
"Duly noted."
She took a deep breath. "Four hundred bucks."
"Per shoe?"
"No, for the pair - who the hell buys per shoe?"
"See, now that's reasonable."
"Really?" Ana Lucia asked, clearly having expected another reaction.
"Yeah. See Cass... She spends a ton of money on shoes that she wears only once, and on the one and only time she does wear them, she bitches about how uncomfortable they are the whole time. I'm really at a loss here. I guess I just don't understand her obsession with shoes."
"Well, I wish I could help you. I've never really understood the whole women-and-shoes thing myself, and I am a woman. As you so shrewdly noted earlier. I guess we've all got to have something we spend way too much money on, though."
"So what's your financial weakness?"
She looked bashful again, and didn't answer, but nodded her head toward the entertainment unit. His gaze followed to where she had indicated, and he saw shelf upon shelf was stacked with video games of all sorts. Underneath the television, he noted several different game systems.
"Impressive collection."
"Thanks. I've been working on it since I was a teenager. You're not disappointed I've spent thousands of dollars on it?"
"See, video games I can understand. You can play them over and over again, play alone, play with your friends. And it's something you've been doing over the years. Hell, I think sometimes I wish she was you, cuz I'd rather be with someone who spent all their money on video games than shoes. At least it's somethin' we could both enjoy. With Cass, it's a new pair of shoes every other day - and not just shoes. All sortsa over-priced rags and purses - oh my God don't get me started on alla her pocketbooks. And she hasn't even got a job! It's all my money, but because we're together, she thinks it's our money, but since I work all the time, it's apparently up to her to spend it all, and I'm goin' outta my mind here, wonderin' if the next rent check's gonna bounce because she just had have the latest Vera... Wong or Wang or whatever the fuck it is." Sawyer was really getting into it now, leaning closer to Ana Lucia as his gestures becoming progressively more enthusiastic. A look of amusement and a weak smirk crossed her face. He supposed it was the closest she could come to actually laughing, considering how tragic her life had been lately. It humbled him immediately.
"I told you it was stupid."
"No, of course it's not! Knowing your money is being spent faster than it's earned is a real concern. It's just... I'm impressed actually. For once, I'm seeing you getting worked up over something very adult. You're growing up."
"Still don't seem to compare to you, though. I mean, no one's died." As soon as he said it, he wished he hadn't. He had been trying to distract Ana Lucia from the painful reminder of the past few months, but there he was drawing attention to it again. She looked away, staring into the direction of entertainment unit.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." he tried to apologize, but she cut him off.
"No. It's the truth," she stopped him. She kept her eyes on the games, though he was pretty sure she wasn't really focusing on it. Enviable collection though it might be, it occurred to Sawyer that her video games could hardly be much comfort at the moment. He looked back at her. Her chest was heaving slightly, and he could see other telltale signs that she was about to start crying again. Sure enough, she blinked hard, and a fresh streak marred her cheek.
"Hey...c'here, Hotlips," he said, pulling her into his embrace. She snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder and began to reluctantly let the sobbing take over.
"Let it out, honey, just let it all out."
"What do I do now?" she managed to croak between tears.
He didn't really know what to say. For a fleeting moment, he tried to remember if anyone had said anything to make him feel better when his parents had died. But even if he had wanted to go there, it was all very fuzzy. And he was pretty sure there wasn't anything. He knew the pain and guilt would always be there, and no words could erase that. But he had made it through. Lots of mistakes on the way, sure, but he was still alive, and relatively functional. Ana Lucia even had one advantage - she was already an adult - but he didn't think it would be very tactful to point this out. So, he tried to give her the best advice he could.
"Just...get through tonight and...and see what happens tomorrow."
He wasn't sure if she had heard him or not as she was still crying, now even more intensely than before. It broke his heart to see her like this. He noticed an afghan hanging on the back of the couch, pulled it down and wrapped it around her. He kissed her forehead and she moved even closer to him, and began to cry herself to sleep. Without even thinking about what Cass would say when he turned up the next morning, Sawyer drifted off to sleep with Ana Lucia in his arms.
But Sawyer was spared having to speak to Cass the next morning.
He woke up still on the couch with Ana Lucia. He knew he needed to get to work and didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, but at the same time, he was reluctant to wake Ana Lucia. Luckily, he didn't have to as his stirring seemed to have woken her up.
"Mornin'."
She just groaned. Ana Lucia was not a morning person.
"So what are you going to do today?"
"I should probably call my therapist," she said dismally. "Whine to him about Danny leaving."
"Or you could always call a hit man," Sawyer suggested. It didn't seem to cheer her up as much as he had hoped.
"You should get to work. I'd offer you some of Danny's clean clothes, but I don't think they'd fit."
She sounded so forlorn he couldn't stand it. He wanted to do something.
"You know, I could call in sick. Hang out here. Play some one-on-one," he said, gesturing to her entertainment unit.
"Nah. I don't want to get you into anymore trouble than you already are." He knew she was talking about Cass.
"Listen. If you need anything. Any time of day -"
"Thanks, James. I really do appreciate it. And. Thanks for coming over."
After he had grabbed a breakfast bar that Ana Lucia had insisted he take, he jetted home to change into his work clothes. Cass was still fast asleep, snoring away. He was certain she would sleep in. He went through work that day on autopilot. Around 10:15, he couldn't take it. He hid in the bathroom, pretending to be taking a dump as he sorted through the events of the previous night. By 10:35, he knew what he had to do. Wanting to take as much action as soon as he possibly could, Sawyer placed several phone calls during his lunch break that would get things rolling. By that point, he wanted to get it over with, but he had to stay at work. Now, it was just a matter of surviving the remaining four hours of work.
He knew she would be gone when he got home. Friday nights she had her book club and she wouldn't miss that for the world. He took the opportunity to begin packing. He had learned early in life not to get too attached to possessions. Oh, he'd be pissed if someone tried to take them from him, but when it really came down to it, he owned a lot of crap he didn't actually need. He found that being a minimalist came in handy when you're on the run, and right now, most of the things he wanted to take with him were things he needed for work. Suits, some toiletries, pajamas, a few changes of casual clothes, his letter to Sawyer, his favourite CDs and books, his mp3 player, his cell phone, his wallet, his picture of him and his mom from the life a boy he had never really known. They were all packed when he heard the door open.
"Sawyer!" Cass exclaimed. Leaving his bags in the bedroom - he didn't want her to suspect anything was up just yet - he went out into the living room to face her. "Look, before you say anything, I wanted to apologize for last night. All of yesterday, actually," she began before he could even speak. She always tried to talk his ear off whenever she was begging for forgiveness. "I know I get carried away when I go out with Veronica, and I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for it. I wanted to talk to you this morning about it, but you were already gone by the time I got up and I wanted to talk in person, and just so you know, I didn't spend any money today. I told Veronica that we had a fight, and she treated me to lunch, I didn't spend a dime. So, can we please stop being mad at each other?"
And there it was. Apologies, excuses, even what looked like a change of behaviour, and a request to return to the status-quo. It also didn't escape Sawyer's notice that she hadn't even known he slept somewhere else. If she knew he had spent a night with Ana Lucia, no matter how innocent, it would be a deal-breaker. But if he didn't say anything, didn't bring attention to the fact that he had left their apartment at midnight, he could stay with Cass, if he wanted to. She would never know he had spent the night with Ana Lucia. But he had already made his decision.
"Here's the thing, Big Spender. In all of that, I heard no mention of having returned any of your pricey purchases, nothing to tell me that you looked for a job, or any decision to change your extravagant lifestyle to fit into a single-income budget. And I'm pretty sure that at some point, you're gonna start hinting about 'needing' your credit cards back. But you know what? I went out last night and I did some thinkin' and I've decided I want out."
"What? You want...? You went out last night? Where?"
He could have said anything. For a drive, to the bar, to Jack's place.
"Doesn't matter," he told her.
"You were out with that Mexican Hussy, weren't you? That... That Lucille bitch."
How did she know? Ana Lucia's name hadn't been mentioned in months, how the hell could Cass's mind have possibly jumped to her first? While he tried to cover up his own inner marveling at the intuitive telepathy of women - or whatever the hell it was - he realized he was in a bit of a pickle. He hadn't wanted to drag Ana Lucia's name into the conversation, but also wanted to be truthful. He compromised by evading the question.
"There are so many things wrong with that statement."
"It's true, isn't it? I told you... I warned you... How could you?!"
"Yeah, funny how much friendlier her couch was than ours, and even when there was no sex involved there, either."
"I don't believe you!"
"Believe, this, sister. I've come to a decision. I ain't gonna be your sugar daddy anymore."
"My what?"
"You heard me. I'm outta this. You're gonna hafta find your own way. I've already made the phone calls, everythin's all lined up. You have no access to any of my money. You won't see me or hear from me again. The fridge is stocked for the next week or so and the rent's paid up on this place and your Honda until the end of the month. You have until then to figure out how you're gonna get by on your own. So it was fun, but the magic's gone."
"But -" she stammered. She obviously hadn't expected this. He didn't care. He turned back to the bedroom to get his bags.
Sawyer was back at Ana Lucia's place, banging loudly on her door, feeling exhilarated.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming, quit your poundin'!" he heard her scowl from inside. He kept hammering on the door. "James," she said, slightly surprised, but no longer annoyed. She opened to door wider to grant him entrance.
"I did it!" he said as he stepped inside. "I left her. Belle Starr is out of my life! That lecherous, blood-sucking, thieving, bitch is gone. God I feel so free!"
"That's wonderful, James," Ana Lucia said.
"I want to celebrate. Let's get smashed."
"I'd love to, James, but I can't."
"What do you mean you can't?"
"I have news, too."
It was then that Sawyer looked around. There was a large vase of roses on the coffee table that hadn't been there when he left that morning.
"Ana? Was that the door?" came a male voice from the vicinity of the bathroom.
"Yeah."
"Oh, Sawyer," Danny said when he emerged into the living room. He and Sawyer looked straight at each other.
"Uh, James. Danny came back this afternoon," Ana Lucia explained, trying to break the tension. "He apologized, and we're working things out. So...so we're going to be okay." Still, there was silence. "But, you made a clean break from Cass?"
"Yeah," Sawyer muttered, not quite knowing what he was saying. "Well, I was just... Congratulations. I'll, uh... I'll let you two alone." And with that, he turned to head back out to his car. Distantly, he heard Ana Lucia tell Danny she'd be back in just a second then heard her tromping after him.
"James. James, wait!" In spite of his better judgment, he paused at the base of the stairs to her apartment. "What's wrong?"
"Nothin'. Why should anything be wrong?"
"Your break-up with Cass. It wasn't -"
"It was fine. Great. Shoulda done it ages ago, actually."
"You really do feel good about doing it then?"
"Yeah."
"Well. Well that's great."
"Yeah, whatever," he said, trying to turn to leave again, but she caught his arm.
"Okay, seriously, what's the matter?"
"What's the matter? I'll tell you what's the matter! Lothario up there. What's his game?"
"What are you talking about?"
"He leaves you in pieces, then thinks he can just come back with a few shrub cuttings and everything'll go back to normal?"
"I know things aren't perfect. Yeah, we've still got stuff to sort through, but we're taking steps to work it out. And it's not like he didn't give me a choice in the matter. I let him in."
"Yeah, and I'm tryin' ta figure that one out, too. I mean, do you even know where he was last night?"
"Why are you getting so worked up over this?"
"He ain't right for you!"
"And how the hell would you know who's right for me and who isn't?" He knew she was referring to the fact that they hadn't spoken in ages and he glowered at her. She at least had the decency to look apologetic before continuing. "Look. Danny and I. We've been through a lot together."
"And you're about to go through a whole lot more."
"And we owe it to the both of us to try and -"
"He's takin' advantage of you! He's gonna hurt you again, I know he is." He knew he was being harsh, but he had to speak his mind. She looked completely deflated and at a total loss for how to even digest what he was saying, let alone respond to it. He groaned. "Never mind. It's none of my business. I hope you're very happy together," though he said the last part as though he really didn't want that to happen. Before Ana Lucia could collect herself to respond, he had jumped into his car to leave, placing a phone call at the next red light he hit.
"Sawyer?"
"I broke up with Cass," Sawyer told the person on the other line.
"Sarah left me," the other man said.
"We need a drink."
Half an hour later, Sawyer was sitting with none other than Dr. Jack Shepard.
"Did you Google the seediest watering hole in town or something?" Jack commented, looking around.
"What the hell's a google?"
"Never mind."
The two were unlikely friends. Sawyer had met him at a random party, and had immediately decided he was the most boring person in the world. Sawyer knew instantly they were polar opposites. But Jack was the kind of guy who stuck around - whether you wanted him to or not. And right now, he wanted him around, because he was the only person in the world who might possibly be worse off than he was at the moment.
"Just thought it was fittin' is all. So Sarah left you, huh?"
"Yeah. She ah...she fell in love with someone else and... I don't know. I know I haven't really been around much lately. I guess she felt neglected. I know things haven't been perfect. I mean, I guess there have been signs for a while now, but I never thought she'd... I can't really blame her, though. I've been so obsessed with this case, lately."
"Oh, c'mon," Sawyer said, frustrated. "She's been boning someone else. She took vows promisin' you and all your family that she wouldn't pull that sorta shit, so quit tryin' ta make her more human by rationalizing her actions. She broke your heart. You're allowed to talk all the shit you want about her."
Jack just shrugged, mouth open, as though he was trying to trash his soon-to-be ex-wife, but couldn't bring himself to do it.
Sawyer shook his head. "Pitiful, man. Pitiful."
"So, you broke up with Cass."
"And thank God for that. Much longer with her, and I might have turned into you. A whipped little puppy being dragged through the mud cuz the bitch couldn't keep her legs closed for five seconds. Only...broker. Cuz the twat can't keep her pocketbook closed, either."
"Well. At least you're not bitter or anything."
"No, actually it's...it's okay," Sawyer said sincerely. "Hell, it's better than okay, it's great. Shoulda done it ages ago. I haven't felt this free in a long time."
"Then why are you so pissed?"
Sawyer sighed and proceeded to tell Jack about Ana Lucia. Determined to be a good friend, he left out the medical details, simply telling Jack that she had gone through a really rough time the last few months.
"Wait a second," Jack interrupted him. "She calls you 'James'?"
"Yeah."
"And you let her?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Well, we met before I was going by 'Sawyer.'"
Jack scoffed.
"Don't believe me?"
"You like her."
"Excuse me?"
"You like her."
"I do not!" Sawyer protested.
"Oh, come on, Sawyer. Look at it objectively. She calls you in the middle of the night - No, she calls you 'James'" - Sawyer's jaw clenched at the sound of someone else using that name - "the only person out side of your family - I'm assuming - who's allowed to do that. So she calls you by your real name in the middle of the night and you come running, and the very next day, you broke up with Cass -"
"Listen. You didn't hear her voice. She really needed someone to talk to."
"Yeah, right. And if I had called you last night sniveling that Sarah was leaving me, you'd -"
"Tell you to grow a fucking pair. Which, incidentally, is exactly what I'm advising you to do now that it's happy hour. So you're still getting the same advice and without even having to go through the agony of knowing I just hung up on your whiny ass."
"But you didn't hang up her, did you?"
"No," Sawyer admitted
"In fact, you ran to be by her side, didn't you?"
"Yes," Sawyer grunted through gritted teeth.
"Because," Jack continued, as though explaining a simple math problem to a two-year-old, "you like her. And you broke up with Cass to be with her, and now you're pissed that she's gone back to Dan-"
"I ain't pissed! I'm concerned, okay. She's the toughest chick I know, but that dick damn near broke her and he doesn't even know it. Give him time he'll do it again. He doesn't really give a shit about her."
"So you're pissed," - Sawyer rolled his eyes at the fact that Jack seemed not to have listened to a word he had just said, but Jack ignored this gesture, too - "but you can't be pissed at her because you like her too much. Instead you're pissed at him, because you'd rather see her as a manipulatable victim than face the fact that she might not actually feel the same way about you."
"How come you can't be as annoyingly analytical when it comes to your own fucked up relationships?" Jack just shook his head and Sawyer knew he was getting nowhere. "Look, I did not break up with Cass to be with her. We're friends, okay?"
"How did you meet this girl, anyways?" Jack asked, deciding to change the subject.
"New Orleans. She was seventeen, lookin' at colleges. Came to a frat party I'd been crashin'. We hit it off," he shrugged.
"How old were you?"
"'Bout twenty."
"So, you're twenty-five -"
"Twenty."
"Whatever. You're you, she's seventeen, drunk at a frat party and you hit if off... You're tellin' me nothing happened?"
Sawyer thought for a moment and shrugged. "We made out, I guess."
"You guess?"
"Yeah, well... I was so drunk I don't really remember it. I mean, I remember doin' it, just not what it was like. I wish I did, too. Lips of an Angel, that one!"
"And you didn't get her number?"
"Police broke the thing up before I got a chance. Never thought I'd see her again 'til I run into her at Amoeba just after movin' to L.A. We started hanging out again for a little while. Had a great time with her, too, until Cass decided she didn't want me within a ten foot radius of any woman under thirty-five."
Jack smirked.
"What?" Sawyer demanded.
"Nothin' it's just... Seems to me like you never really moved on from a make out-session you barely even remember. And you call me pitiful," he chuckled.
"Yeah, well thanks for cheerin' me up, doc" Sawyer scowled. "This has been very helpful, really."
"Alright, you really want my advice? Go talk to her. Apologize. At least try to salvage the friendship. Because if there's one thing that ruins any relationship, it's neglect. Believe me."
"You're probably right."
"Doctor's orders!"
"And Dr. Sawyer's writin' you a prescription, too."
"Really? What would that be?"
"Get drunk and get laid."
Jack laughed. "I'll see you later, James."
"Shut up."
As he left, it struck Sawyer as slightly ironic that he was actually leaving a bar more hopeful than when he had entered.
Ana Lucia sat curled up next to Danny. He was watching a movie, but she barely noticed. She kept replaying James's words in her head. How dare he? Things were just starting to look up after a horrendous ordeal. She had reconnected with James, and then Danny had come back, and he had gone and tried to ruin both. A part of her was telling that that she should have known something would happen to mess things up. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be happy.
She shook those thoughts aside. Danny was still here, after all. She should take what she should get and be grateful for it.
She snuggled closer to Danny. He shifted slightly, but his knee was in a weird place, making her feel slightly more uncomfortable. She tried not to remember how comfortably she had fit against James the night before. It'll never happen again, Ana, she told herself. He was what you needed last night, but he's gone. We're probably not even friends now. Danny's the one who's here now.
"Hey sweetheart, you think you could move your arm? You're cuttin' off circulation to my leg," Danny interrupted her thoughts.
"Yeah, sorry," she said as she shifted slightly.
"Actually, I'm getting kinda hot. Do you think you could -"
"Yeah," she answered before he could finish, grabbing a pillow and curling up with the afghan on the other end of the couch.
"Thanks," Danny said, his eyes not leaving the TV. "Hey, Ana?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you," he smiled at her from across the couch. She just smiled back. She didn't even realize she had drifted off to sleep until Danny woke her up, announcing that the movie was over. He leaned in and kissed her, his hand moving to her waist. She sat up, leaning into him, letting him know that she appreciated that he was there. He pulled her closer, clearly hungry for more, but she pulled away.
"Aw, c'mon, sweetie," he pleaded.
"I'm not in the mood tonight. Can't we just go to bed?"
"Aw, c'mon, Ana. We haven't had relations in ages." She had to stop herself from cringing at the word "relations." She hated it when he called it that. Why couldn't he just call it sex? And the fact that he had brought up her miscarriage, however distantly, made her even more aggravated. She decided to let it slide, too tired for another fight, but still moved out of his embrace to the edge of the couch.
"It's been a long couple days for us."
"I know, but Ana," he scoffed. "We just made up!"
"So?"
"So, we owe ourselves some make-up... you know," he said, as though he was stating something obvious. "I mean, what's the point of making up if we don't have make-up sex?" He tried to nuzzle her neck.
"Look, I'm just not in the mood," she tried again, gently pushing him away.
"Well then what the fuck was the point of all that yesterday, then, if we're not going to do it?"
Ana Lucia remembered James's words from earlier that day, and her doubts began to resurface. She didn't want to ruin what little she had left, and knew she'd have to choose her next words carefully.
"Danny," she said softly. "I'm probably just being paranoid here, but I'm starting to get the feeling that the only reason you came back today was for the make-up sex."
He didn't answer.
"Oh, my God," she said, sliding off the couch to face him now. "You did, didn't you?"
"No," he tried, but it was too late. "I mean, it wasn't just that. I missed you."
"And what exactly were you planning on doing after sex? Breaking up with me again?"
"No, I..." he faltered. "I didn't really think that far, to be honest."
"Sounds to me like you weren't doing that much thinking at all."
"Now that's not fair!"
"No, you know what's not fair? Coming back here and making me think we might still have a chance to work things out when you really just using me for relations."
"I'm a red-blooded man, Ana Lucia. We haven't been together since you lost the baby. I know you may have tried to remove yourself from your body, but I still have needs."
Anger welled up inside her. How dare he, how dare he try to defend his insensitivity with the lamest male excuse in the book. And have the nerve to throw their child into it. "Well maybe you should find someplace else to get those needs met."
"What?"
"Get out! You disgust me!"
"Fine! Good luck finding whatever it is you need, Ana Lucia."
And with that, he was out the door, the bags that he hadn't even begun to unpack in his hands.
Arms crossed, Ana Lucia slammed herself back down on the couch.
Damnit, she thought. James had been right.
Well, not entirely. She felt hurt and used, yes, but not nearly as much as she had when Danny had left the night before. No, more than anything, she was pissed off.
It was funny how the little argument had rejuvenated her. Her newfound anger and frustration was sending excess energy flowing through her, energy she knew she needed to siphon off somehow.
She looked around at her little apartment, which had seen more non-sexual activity in the last forty-eight hours than it had the whole time she and Danny had been living there.
I need to get out of here, she realized.
Jack had remained at the bar after Sawyer left, starting to realize he had to figure out a place to stay. Sarah had left their condo, insisting that she should be the one who was leaving, not him, but he just couldn't bring himself to go back there. He was so lost in his own misery, he barely even noticed a young woman come in until she was seated a few stools from him, ordering a tequila and tonic. He couldn't help but look her over. She had dark skin, with matching eyes and hair. Her lips were something else, though. Full and thick. She was absolutely nothing like Sarah.
As though she had felt eyes on her, she turned to look at him and their eyes met. He smiled shyly. She smiled back, those lips revealing brilliantly white teeth. It didn't quite reach her eyes, though, and he began to wonder what in her life would be preventing that from happening. Not quite sure what to do next, he looked down at his glass of water.
Get drunk and get laid. That had been Sawyer's advice. Problem was, Sawyer didn't give him any advice on exactly how to go about doing that. He looked back at the woman, who was now staring across the bar, sucking on her lemon wedge. He had missed his chance. I'm too rusty at this Jack thought, then realizing he had never been all that good in the first place. He was just about to go back to his car, drive around and find a hotel with some vacancies when someone spoke up next to him, almost startling him.
"So what brings a good looking guy like you to a seedy place like this all alone on a Friday night?" It was the dark-skinned beauty, who was still staring straight ahead. Awkwardly, he realized that maybe that should have been his line, but it was too late for that. When he didn't answer, she turned to look at him inquiringly, in case he had thought she wasn't talking to him.
"Uh... My wife left me. For another guy. So, a friend brought me here. He thought it might do me good to have a drink, get smashed, you know the usual." He decided it would be best to leave out the part about having a one-night stand.
"Yeah, looks like you're really doing a good job on that," she said sarcastically, looking down at his glass of water.
"Yeah, I ah. I'm not much of a drinker."
"I can see that. And where's your friend who's supposed to be helping you out with all this?"
"He... had something of his own to sort out."
"Oh yeah, he sounds like a great friend."
"So what brings a good-looking woman to a seedy place like this all alone on a Friday night?" he asked, starting to feel like he was getting into the rhythm of this a little bit.
"I broke up with my boyfriend twice in as many days." She said it so nonchalantly, he was sure that there was more to that story, but decided it was hardly his business to pry. "But that's not the worst part of these last couple of days," she continued more seriously. "I think I lost a really good friend in this whole mess." Jack got the feeling that she wasn't referring to her boyfriend, but again decided not to pry. He was surprised enough as it was that she was still talking to him.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry your wife left you."
"You sure it's really over between you and your friend?" Jack could just hear his father's voice, mocking him for feeling the need to fix everything around him. So much for that, he thought bitterly. I can't even fix my own marriage. "I mean, it just... It seems to me that a real friend would hear you out. A real friend would forgive."
"I don't know. Maybe. Hell, I wouldn't even know where to find him. I don't even have his damned cell phone number. But I don't want to think about that right now," she said, a little more cheerful and paused. "So. Look. Since I don't know where my friend took off to, and yours has ditched you, maybe we can help each other out. I mean. I could at least help you get plastered."
"I... I don't know. Like I said, I'm -"
"Not much of a drinker, right. But c'mon, man! She ditched you for another man! If any occasion warrants getting sloshed, it's that."
"And how would I help you out in return?"
She shrugged. "I'm sure we can figure that out along the way."
It was odd. She was telling him exactly the same thing as Sawyer had, and yet, as she ordered him a drink, he felt so much more inclined to let loose than he had with Sawyer around.
Jack woke up the next morning in a strange bed with a pounding headache and his cell phone chirping at him. Funny. He had never realized how nauseatingly cheery his ringtone was.
Wincing in the morning light, he registered that the LCD was telling him it was Sawyer. He supposed he had better get an update from the man - and tell him how his own night had gone.
"Hey," he groaned.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to reach Jack Shepherd, world-renowned spinal surgeon and disgustingly sunny morning person," Sawyer quipped.
"Yeah, issme, Sawyer."
"You actually sound hung over."
"That would be because I am," Jack grumbled.
"Holy shit! I can't believe you actually took my advice! How'd that happen?" Jack could just picture the blond on the other line jumping up and down in his excitement over Jack's foray over to the wild side, however brief it may have been.
"Girl came in just after you left. We started talking, started drinking, went back to her place..."
"Jack Christian Shepherd. Did you have a one-night stand?"
"Well, I'm not sure. It gets a little fuzzy..."
"Are you still at her place?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, let me ask you this. Are you clothes on or off?"
"Off."
"You got laid last night my friend."
"Oh my God. I can't believe I had a one-night stand and I can't even remember it."
"Well, hot dog! Who is this girl, I gotta send her flowers!"
"Uh..."
"Don't tell me you don't even know her name?"
"Well... I mean she might have mentioned it, but uh...."
"Congratulations, Dr. Feelgood," Sawyer said seriously. "You've just passed important milestone in becoming an adult. How does it feel?"
"Like I'm going to throw up. Or my bladder is going to burst. Either way, I should probably figure out where the bathroom is."
"Well, I'll let you get to that, then."
"Oh, hey, wait! Did you ever talk to that girl friend of yours?"
"I dropped by her place last night, but no one was home. She's probably out with that prick."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm on my way to try again right now."
"Good luck."
"Thanks. Listen, after I take care of this, we've got to hook up. You've got to meet this chick, she's awesome. And you've got to give us both all the gory details about last night."
"Yeah, sure Sawyer."
"Oh, our little Jackie-poo's growing up!" Sawyer giggled before Jack hung up, yanked on his shirt and boxers and made his way to the nearest door, only to discover that it was a closet. He had better luck with door number two.
After he had relieved himself, he slumped down on the bathroom floor, still not sure if he was going to be sick or not. Then, he heard a polite knock on the door.
"Yeah, come on in."
The woman from last night entered, looking a little more disheveled than she had when they had met in the bar, but not nearly as bad as he felt.
"How you feelin'?"
"Oh... Like crap."
"You really aren't much of a drinker, are you?" she teased, handing him a glass of water.
"Thanks," he said and downed it.
"You like eggs? I could make you some breakfast."
"That sounds great."
"You gonna be okay?"
"I think so..."
"Alright. Those towels are clean. There's soap and shampoo in there, too, if you want to take a shower."
"Thanks."
He stayed in the bathroom for a little while longer before the welcoming smell of eggs and bacon became irresistible. Deciding his stomach had settled enough, he followed the scent out to the kitchen.
"Feelin' better?" she asked when she realized he had joined her.
"A little," he answered, his head still pounding.
"This is almost done," she indicated the bacon and sausage sizzling in the pan in front of her.
"Great. Smells good. Uh..." he wondered for a second if all one-night stands were this hospitable. "I just realized... Oh, God, this is so embarrassing. Look, I never do this, and I feel really terrible. I don't even know where to start. Okay. I'm Jack. I say that because.... I can't remember if you ever even told me your name."
"What do you remember from last night?"
"Not much, to be honest. Uh... I remember we were drinking at the bar. I remember that's where we started kissing. You're a...a good kisser by the way." She smiled appreciatively. "But that's about it," he continued. "I don't even remember how we got here."
"We walked. I'm just a couple blocks from the bar."
"Oh," he nodded. He wanted to know so much more, like if she happened to have video cameras in her apartment, so he could at least see what he had done last night.
"Look, if I did or said anything weird -"
"No," she chuckled. "You were quite the polite gentleman. Nice change of pace, actually."
"Oh." He was still itching for more information, but his head was still pounding, distracting him from figuring out how to put too many words together.
"Breakfast is just about up. And Jack. I'm Ana -"
But she was cut off just then by a knock on the door. Jack thought his head was going to implode with each rap, and closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.
"Can you get that while I dish this up?"
"Uh, yeah." Ana, Ana, he thought as he padded to the door. Why does that name ring a bell? But the pounding on the door extended into his skull again, and he couldn't think. He opened the door, to find himself face-to-face with Sawyer. They both looked surprised and confused at each other for a second, before the feminine voice chimed in from the kitchen.
"Who is it? If it's a Aimee from downstairs, tell her I want the Thin Mints and the Samoas, but if it's Danny, tell him he can stick it up his...." she trailed off, having stepped out into the living room for a clear view of the doorway. "James?" she said in disbelief.
"Ana Lucia," Jack breathed, looking at his hostess in realization.
"Jack?" Sawyer said, his brain still unable to fathom the sight before him. "What is he doing here?" Sawyer growled at Ana Lucia, with an accusatory finger at Jack.
Ana Lucia just blinked, mouth open. When no one spoke, Jack just couldn't take the tension mounting in the room and in his head.
"Okay, this is why I don't drink!" Jack blurted out to no one in particular.
It was enough to shake Sawyer out of his shock, and he turned to leave, but not before he cast both Ana Lucia and Jack a look of hurt and betrayal.
"Oh, James wait, please -" Ana Lucia began, but he was already gone. Jack chanced a glance at Ana Lucia, who was sinking into the couch, arms wrapped around her, looking like she was the one about to be sick.
Deciding he had a smaller window with which to smooth things over with Sawyer, Jack took off after him, saying, "Sawyer, wait!"
Jack caught up with Sawyer as he was fumbling with his car keys.
"Sawyer," Jack stumbled and winced, his head feeling like it was being split open as he stepped out into the direct sunlight. Sawyer rounded on him, and Jack flinched, afraid the blond was going to take a swing at him.
"What?!" he growled.
"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her, okay."
"Why the fuck should I believe you?"
"Because I already told you I couldn't remember if I'd even gotten her name or not!"
"Yeah, well maybe you were lying."
"Look, I don't do that kind of thing to my friends!"
Sawyer seemed to believe this, or at least his rage subsided.
"You gotta talk to her, alright?"
"What the fuck is that gonna accomplish?"
"She broke up with him again last night."
"I figured that one out, seein' as you were the one who answered the door."
"She feels terrible about what happened between the two of you. Last night, she said she was afraid she'd lost a friend. Sawyer, she was talking about you. She wanted to talk to you, but she didn't know your number."
"Didn't stop her from fucking someone else, though, did it?"
"I thought you said that you two were just friends?" Jack said pointedly. Sawyer glowered at him. "She doesn't know how you feel. You need to talk to her."
Sawyer looked at the pavement, looking like a defeated animal. "I can't. Not right now. I need to do some thinkin'."
"Hey Sawyer," Jack said, stopping the other man as he was getting into his car. "You were right about one thing."
"What's that?"
"Lips of an angel, that one."
Sawyer growled before taking off, but Jack couldn't help but think he was slightly amused.
Ana Lucia had barely moved from the couch after Sawyer had left. Jack had come back, only to excuse himself, which she was more than happy to let him do. Neither of them had eaten the breakfast she had cooked up, both having lost their appetite, and it was still sitting on the counter, as cold and lonely as she was feeling.
She couldn't believe her luck. More than anything, though, she felt terrible. The look on Sawyer's face before he had bolted earlier that morning...
She was interrupted from her self-deprecation when there was a knock on the door. She was almost afraid to answer it. The last couple of times the door had been opened, it hadn't ended well. But there was another knock, and she decided she should at least make it stop. Then, get an apartment that required guests be buzzed in.
"James," she said, surprised. Taking him in, she realized he had a bouquet of flowers. What the hell is going on today? she wondered. She was glad he had returned, as she still didn't know how to get in touch with him, but she was starting to get a little annoyed with all his back-and-forth. "What, you think you can just come back with a few shrub cuttings and everything'll go back to normal?" she said, throwing his own words from the day before back at him, but saying it light heartedly enough that it didn't cause any damage.
"What, you think that's what these are for? Nah, see I told Jack I'd get flowers for the chick who had managed to get him drunk and laid," he said sheepishly.
"Come in," she said, unable to suppress a small giggle. "Have a seat," she told him. Then, with one hand, she grabbed the flowers Danny had brought over the night before and moved to the kitchen to dump them unceremoniously in the garbage. She then went back to Sawyer and placed the bunch he had in the recently emptied vase.
"Much better," she said. She thought Sawyer looked pleased, but was trying to hide it.
"Jack tells me you and Danny broke up again after I left," he said, unable to look at her.
"Yeah. Turns out he was only in it for the sex."
"I'm sorry."
"No you're not."
"Well, I am sorry you wasted your time on such an ass."
"Yeah, me too."
Silence. When he wouldn't talk, she decided to breach the question she had been itching to ask.
"Did you break up with Cass because of me?"
His gaze snapped to her, as though he was shocked that she would be so direct.
"No," he insisted, though he didn't quite look her in the eye when he said it.
"Please don't lie to me. I can't take another man lying to me this week."
"No. Well... Okay, you might have been one of the reasons. But we've been on the rocks for a while now, for so many reasons that have nothing to do with you. I'd had enough. Seein' you last night sorta made realize that," he shrugged.
She seemed to accept that.
"So, is Jack a good one-night stand?" Sawyer asked, doing his best to sound casual.
"I can't answer that."
"I guess I should be grateful you ain't the type to kiss and tell."
"No, I mean... I literally can't answer that."
"What do you mean?"
She hesitated. "Okay, but you cannot repeat this."
"Done," Sawyer said, now very interested.
"Well, he was really drunk. I mean really drunk. And he... Well..."
"He couldn't perform?" Sawyer supplied, unable to hide his amusement.
"Never got a chance, actually. He ah... He passed out before it really got anywhere."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah."
"Guess you had to finish the job yourself, then, huh?"
"I thought about it, but I decided I just wasn't in the mood. He doesn't even remember, and I didn't have the heart to tell him. I'm starting to think it was all for the best, actually."
"Oh, and I was so proud of him," Sawyer chuckled.
"You're not going to tell him, are you?"
"I don't know, this is pretty juicy."
"Ah, maybe he should know. I think the idea of having had sex with a complete strange and not being able to remember it scared him a little."
"Oh, it terrified him."
"Man that boy just cannot hold his liquor, can he?" Ana Lucia joked.
"Oh, he's pitiful!"
"James, do you have feelings for me?" she said seriously. Sawyer looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it, and looked down at his hands instead. It occurred to Ana Lucia that she had snuck up on him with that last question, but she wasn't ready to let it go just yet.
"It's just...," she pressed on. "That look on your face today when you saw Jack. It was like we had both betrayed you and I need you to help me understand why."
"Look, Hotlips... You're a great friend. I'd be an idiot to try and mess that up."
"Please don't give me that bullshit. I can't stand being in the dark any longer."
"I... I like you, yeah," he said, finally looking at her.
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know."
"I'm still glad you came over the other night." Sawyer went back to examining at his hands, as though not sure he was glad he had come or not. "And James?" Ana Lucia pressed on when he wouldn't say anything. He glanced at her. "I think I like you, too," she smiled shyly.
There was a pause, as Ana Lucia let this sink in. Sawyer, on the other hand, seemed to be making sure he had actually heard what he thought he had heard.
"So what now?" Sawyer asked, looking a little scared.
"I don't know. I'm dealing with a lot of crap right now. I probably shouldn't be rushing into anything."
"I understand," Sawyer conceded, but still looked a little disappointed. "I just... I don't want to say goodbye."
"I'm not saying you have to. I'm saying..." God, I'm not good at this shit, she admitted to herself. "I'm not ready to start something right now. But when I am, I think I'd like it to be with you. Until then, I'd like to still hang out. We could, you know. Play video games, go out for drinks... Tease Jack," she added when he didn't seem to be responding. "I don't want to lose this friendship, either, James."
"I guess... I guess I can accept that. For now." There was another pause in the conversation, and Ana Lucia worried that Sawyer wouldn't have the patience to wait for her. But just as these thoughts began to seep in, he started speaking again.
"There is somethin' I need to do, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way."
"What's that?"
He reached up and gently cupped her cheeks in his palms, pulling her face towards his. Gently, his lips met hers, and his grip tightened slightly. She knew she should have been worried about where he might want to take this, but for the first time in weeks, she didn't want to worry about what would come next. She kissed him back, opening her lips to grant him entrance to her mouth. He took the cue immediately. He shifted closer to her and her hands moved to curl in his hair. Neither of them wanted it to end, and when they did finally break apart, they remained close, as though much more physical distance would keep them from remembering what had just happened.
Ana Lucia realized Sawyer was wearing a triumphant smile. While she couldn't blame him for it, it was too cocky for her to let it go.
"What?"
What he murmured next was the last thing she would have expected.
"Lips of an angel."
She blushed. It was the nicest thing anyone had said to her in a long time.
cross-posted to
ana_lucia_fans,
for_ana_lucia,
lost_sana_fans,
madhotjunglesex,
missy42 &
fanfiction.net.