Random Drabbles to radio songs - challengy thing
Title: Song Drabbles
Author: Ame
Rating: PG (except for a few cuss words)
Genre: they're drabbles...written to songs...they don't really have one O_o
Pairing: KaoruxYoshiki
Band(s): Dir en grey/X Japan, S.K.I.N., etc.
Summary: drabbles written to songs on the radio YAY NO MORE WRITER'S BLOCK! ...maybe... >.>
Disclaimer: Don't own or know anyone I write about. Unfortunately. Yet.......
Comments: WOW this was REALLY hard!! *wipes forehead e.e*
So I saw in passing a challenge to write drabbles as songs played...supposed to be random ones from your own playlist...but anyway, you're supposed to write the thing while the song is playing, and stop when it's over. I listened to the radio to do this, and I wrote out about half a set...it was exhausting, I had no idea! But anyway, they're all from either Yoshiki or Kaoru's perspective, but I didn't label them, because I don't think it's necessary. Don't know if anyone else will ever want to read these, but...here they are!
P.S. I'm really sorry to everyone who reads my fics regularly...I've been really busy the past couple of weeks, and to top that off I have writer's block! X_X Sorry guys!! I promise I'll get at least one of each thing I write up before classes start!!
1:
He's sitting there just like I don't exist. I hate him. I hate his pretty hair and his fucking chin pubes, like his fangirls like to call it. Or should I say fanboys. Yeah, okay, that was lame. But he is not about to leave with me tonight. Not when he's sitting over there like he's everything in the fucking world, making me feel so stupid and old. Him and his little friends think they're so hip. And look at me, talking like some dumped prom date! I hate what he does to me, I hate everything between us, and I am out of here right now! Say good-night, Kaoru, you're sleeping alone the rest of the time you're in my city. Stay the fuck away from me, oyasumi!
2:
I'm happy with who I am. I think that's healthy. It's not like I'm defective, like I have to be sent back to the store or anything. But I feel, sometimes, like I'm kind of directionless. I mean, I know who I am, I know what I want to do, but everything around me is so...unstable. Everyone around me is so false, so unhealthily beautiful. Me, I'm just plain, simple Kaoru. In this place, I feel so out of place. Guess it's to be expected, some new country. And we're certainly here for a good reason! Hey, everyone, we've got something to say! We are who we are, and that's healthier than anything you could ever be. Now, I know none of you are listening, but whether you are or not doesn't matter. That's the way things are, and eventually you'll hear it too. We're here, America, so get ready for a little refresher course on truth!
3:
You're so far away...I miss you all the time. But I never know how to say it...every time I see you, I just feel so inadequate. Especially after what happened between us lately...I love you so much, you're everything to me and I just want to say...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can never be everything I try to be for you. I'm at fault here, not you, and it's so hard to get through every day just thinking about it. Everything I do just screws you up so bad...I just wish I could fix it. I wish I could take everything back. I want to see you smile...I'm so sorry. Every day I have to live with myself, and I think about you every moment, and it makes me happier. We've gone so far together, I just hope you can forgive me like every other time. I know I can't make up for it, I know it's behind us, but I have to say I'm sorry just one more time. Maybe this time you'll listen. Please...I love you, and I'm sorry.
4:
I've never understood why you're so afraid of yourself. I want to help you so bad, because I know how broken you are. Your angel's wings are broken, and I'll patch them up for you. You can carry both of us to the highest clouds, where nothing hurts anymore. I promise I'll do the best I can, we can fix everything, every problem you worry about, as long as we do it together. Together, we're perfect. You make me perfect with your beauty, and wash away all the filth I harbour. Your beautiful wings are the real testament to that perfection, that almost holy beauty. You're all I know, all I see, and you're so wonderful I've even run out of words! What are you afraid of now? Take my hand, carry me up where you are and I'll show you how wonderful the world can be. And you? You just make it that much better. Love, pain, happiness, dirt, beauty, it's all so wonderful and magical, I'm sure you'd see it if you looked just a little closer. And I'll help you, if you promise to help me right back, my tenshi.
5:
You. You and your...youngness. You and your bars, your terrible energy that I'm struggling so hard to hold on to myself. And then you think you're so wonderful because you tricked me. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. You called me down to that bar, pretending to be drunk. And why? Just because you wanted to see me. You're so immature. But...no. I won't say it. ....Damnit, you're so cute! It's almost disgusting. Because when I took you from that place, you led me right into your trap. You took me to the only place that was open that late, and only because you'd told it to be open. Yes...alright. It was wonderful. Yes, the food was good...even if it was just a corner place. I'm sure it was nice to know the owners, too...they were very nice people. But then...when they really closed...did you have to walk me home...? You didn't, did you...? But...I wanted you to. Thank you...that really was a beautiful night.
6:
Quit that. You made life so perfect for so long...but now? I can feel myself slipping, and I'm so afraid...will you stay? This feels like the end...the beginning of everything bad, the end of all the good things. All our plans and dreams, where did they go? They were stolen from us. I can never tell you how much you mean to me...but I've decided. It's much more important to simply be, than to do. I refuse to let everything end now, though, after we've worked so hard. I can feel it coming on fast, and I'm not going to let go. I refuse to lose. I want to know...everything that might happen. It might be more than you can comprehend...farther than you're willing to go. But you have to realise, everything can collapse in an instant. And now is not my time, this is not the end, I won't let it be! And I hope, I trust, that even though it may be too much for you...you'll follow me. You'll take my hand and lead me as far as I can go. Because I won't go without you...
7:
I hope you know, this isn't your fault. It's just...I need some time. I have to deal with this myself. I'll miss you so much...but I've got to do this. I have to be mature about this...I have to cry. I can't live with myself, doing this to you, to us. The way things have been going...it's not right. I'm so sorry to have to do this to you. But even fairy stories don't always have a happy ending. And I have to write this one myself...fix it. It's got nothing to do with you, I promise. I have to learn to do this on my own. What we have is innocent, is exactly what I want. It's so perfect and beautiful, and I never want this to end. But I have to deal with this, if we want any of that. It's almost too late, and I know even if I do this...it'll never go away. But I have to try. I have to find some sort of centre ground, some way to deal with this. I've got a lot of things to straighten out with myself and my past, and now is the time. I'm so sorry...I'll cry for you, too...I love you....
8:
You remind me of myself when I was younger. Only more reckless. It's not like you to slow down, and I handed you my heart on a platter knowing that. But...could you pause for just a second? Please? Some of my fans tell me the stage is going to kill me...but if they knew about you they'd probably blame you... I know it can't be easy dealing with me, loving me, with all the baggage I come with. But if you don't slow down I swear I'm just going collapse with emotional exhaustion. It's not that I don't enjoy the things you do, quite the opposite. It's just that sometimes it's a bit too much. Keep on doing it, just slow down. Please? I'm sure you can handle that. I mean, I grew out of it, didn't I? Sure. And you certainly are doing a good job of keeping me on my toes. Just realise I'm an old fart sometimes, okay? I've been around the block more than a few times, and I can deal with it, I just don't always want to. Thank you for being you, it's the most fun I've ever had, but...you get the idea.
9:
Holy shit...you have no idea how hot you are. I don't care how much older you are than me, you just standing there makes me think such nasty thoughts... Won't you dance with me? Your eyes are on fire tonight. I'm trying to distract myself with drinks. I should have stayed home tonight, let you go out. Because there's no way I can leave you alone. I'm still imagining somewhere dark, and you.... God, come dance with me. I have to make you move, you're way too still. Your body is amazing, and that look you're giving me tonight has me trembling in my seat. Please, god, just let me take you out there. I almost can't move as I stand up and slither over to you. Just being this near you makes me want to die, it's so intoxicating. Take my hand, please, I'm begging you....yes, just like that...just dance with me, you're so beautiful, so perfect. You don't even have to touch me, you're so amazing....even as the song ends I can't get the feel of you off me. Would it be okay with you if we...went home? Good.